No Man

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

How do I stop this? I'm back at the beginning
This never ending cycle that never stops spinning.
I love him, I lose him...shit, why did I choose him,
I should have known better, I should have refused him.
It happens every time, so I shouldn't be confused when
This love that I thought would last starts diffusing...

Lately I look in the mirror and I'm shamed
I see eyes full of tears that I don't want to claim
I see a face that over the years has been maimed
I see a soul that doesn't belong to my name.
So I slink and I fall to a puddle on the floor
cuz I can't bare to look at myself anymore
And there’s no hand reaching, no arms for a hug
There’s no one there telling me I deserve love.
Can't get the nerve up, can't muster the strength
To search for the beauty, just disgust at all lengths.
So I shut my eyes tight and I hope when they open
I'll see someone else, so that maybe I'll know then
That no one can tell how I'm crying inside
But disguises don't work, I know that, I've tried.
Cuz the voices inside are still very alive
Pushing me down till I'm barried alive
Telling me I'm ugly, inside and out
Trying to drug me with a syringe of self doubt
And yet they make sense, as they haunt me and taunt me
They explain to me all of the reasons he don't want me
And I listen, I fear them, I wish I didn't hear them
Oh God, how I wish I could make them disappear and
Appreciation would set sail, but my courage keeps flying
I'm waiting to exhale but all I do is keep sighing
Keep trying, in hopes that one day I'll succeed
And climb off this floor and get back on my feet
With only my god and my spirit to guide me
And stand me up tall, with no man beside me
And I won't feel worthless, the way that a whore must
I'll open my eyes and I'll see something gorgeous
Something pure and loving, not deserving of violence
And I'll hear what I'm worth when the voices are silenced
No more battering my soul, no more ripping me apart
Now the only thing beating my soul is my heart.
One day I'll be unconditionally happy
He may be gone, but so what, I still have me.
One day...one day, all this hurting I'll forget
One day......one day that still hasn't come yet.
But this day, I’ll swear to myself, and Amen,
No man will ever make me feel like this again.






-g.l.p.

[TProphet]

The emotion in this blew me away
...For me, the best emotional pieces arent over done with vocabulary and when you can tell the writer is putting their heart and their experiences into the piece



I liked the ending because i know a few woman that have become single and cling onto them making them more depresed, and they dont see that, in the end they will be ''unconditionally happy'' as you put it.. and i liked how this pievce gave hope at the end

Very nicely written

Thanks for the read and the feed on mine

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

Thanksss..

I guess I only get one reply, yippee.

[Mag...]

i like this ... a clear communication of emotions, the rhymes are on point and not overstressed...

I read this and imagined you were on a stage reading this aloud at a poetry reading... just flowing accapella

it was a cool concept to me

but reality i guess was that i needed to imagine that in order to stay interested, the balance of story moving imagery really hampered the pace of this piece...

very good overall... i just like to nitpick

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

Thanks.. I wasnt really paying attention to making the style of the piece a perfect 10. I was just writing what I felt. Thank you though

[lawless thug]

this shit was tight liked it a lot
keep em coming dog respect

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

Thank you very much

[FanTa ZeE]

yeah nice piece, very emotive and upsetting because of the sense of realism. The persona was one to which i could relate as a teenage girl growing up in a western culture based on the unethical idea of beauty over truth. Thats how society is today, looks count for everything, which i guess is mostly the result of pop culture..its sad really, but you've got to believe you are - in whatever way - beautiful, if only to survive.

I don't look at poems and written veiws from a technical point of veiw, i'd rather live by the concept that poetry is the language of the soul, and i'm pretty sure my soul isn't ruled by grammatical correctness and structured form..Looking at this piece in the way i tend to, i found it very interesting, and while it appears to be a 'surface' poem - one that it is taken for face value - it has a sense of greater depth through the feelings you described. Very nicely done.

ZeE x

[A.O.D]

WOW! You still have your amazing technique but being I remember this name from around 2 yrs ago... if your still the same person... but very emotional I'm going to show this to a good friend who could relate to this... very touching...

[shawty"B"]

WOW.... simply.. WOW. This struck such a sensitive nerve in me. It hit such a personal level that I could feel what you were going through, but at the same time i was having flash backs of a previous relationship. I felt you through every word and every line. You flowed through this beautifully, and very truthfully. Your poem has actually caught my attention in such a way that it made me truely sit back and think, because when it happens, it feels like your the only one in the world that its happening to... and when you see someone else in the same predicament, you can feel for them on a more personal level. Over all you have done an amazing job in writing this, along with the intensive emotion it gives insight to a womans heartache that almost seems incomprehendable at times. The over all flow of the piece, and the structure that made it easier on the eyes, GREAT job....



....bless

~*UnO*~

[thewordsmith]

Something pure and loving, not deserving of violence
And I'll hear what I'm worth when the voices are silenced
No more battering my soul, no more ripping me apart
Now the only thing beating my soul is my heart.

touch piece this very well structred nice flow and overall a v good piece of poetry
liked it very much respect 2 u the first lady on rbs them 4 lines was amazin very moving

[2_sides_of_life]

Nice... Pretty good.

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

Wow..I didn't know this had gotten any more replies..Thank you so much, all of you. Esp. Fanta and Shawty, this is definitely something women can relate to more, but fortunately the men are understanding and appreciating it too. Thank you everyone who read and replied.

[Legendary]

Real nice. You're still writing good stuff.

[urban legendz]

This was a well written piece, I liked the emotion in this piece amungst many other things, the topic was kind've bland and meak yet it fitted this piece perfectly, imagery was almost flawless through out this piece your meta's was enticing and very fluent, although at some points I felt that maybe the wording could've been touched upand if the structure was improved this would make one dope ass piece, your tantisizing description and poetry made the atmosphere even more ample and beautyful, it feel as if you wrote this off of your own experiances witch is what makes this such a wonderful read.