Soul Shocker Vs TwixSen

[Soul Shocker]

topic:cheaten bitch


20 lines
due 2morrow night
no d/r
no h8
and blind

[TwixSin]

Jason ran his pencil through his misshapen hands
A family plan turned mad he car crashed age 17
A feind to computers and learning… yearing to sports
But aborted that thought as he thought about it closer
Envoiced the noise that came from music and shelter

David never really cared much for Jason after the accident
He ment a lot to him but he was a loser with magic cards
The typed of tard looke down on when you’re a football star
But he knew he was next to him in the green 87 corrolla car
Every practice his mom drived him, William and david far

Every class Jason ran david the answers… fury building
Feeling like anger and rage mixed… un intellectual bindings
Residing in the downfall he knew was about to hit…
Throw a fit or demand something in return… submit
But Jason saw it as a personal attack… his mind running away
He would stay in the dark long after class perfecting the stay

Eventually one morning they woke up walked to class
A normal day… but in the window david saw evil pass
There threw the glass hung david’s limp body…
He climbed a desk… and gave himself the quietest death
Worse than crystal meth addiction and rape submission
This young soul was dead
But god does not forgive, some even when tears are shed…
And prayers are said… hands on forehead

But Jason did…


ummmm i think its like 23 lines... but 20 lines is tooo much restraint... meh.

[Soul Shocker]

It cool dawg nice verse.Ima try get mine down soon iight

[Soul Shocker]

I fell like I've just walked in on the set of a Roger Corman movie

Full of bad dialogue, tacky sets, 99 pound weaklings, naughty nymphettes

Coffe rings on everything, can't see where my halo's been

Caviar to the General, cold coffe for the queen

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE GET OUT

If a hermit lives in ecstasy, his lack of comfort has become luxury

I tried to cook up some privacy but the doorbell tore up the recipe

At the end of my tether, they're hell for leather, everybody talks about the weather

I was standing I was standing on the landing now I'M standing in the hall

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,GET OUT!!!!!

Caviar cold coffee the milk's gone off. Like a coctail, molotov

Caviar cold coffee the grapes of wrath. Cocktail with your molotov?

I'm not complacent in my basement. Who's the judge? Here comes the jury...

Get that blunt object out of my face, there's too much violence in front of T.V.

Be a bit more un-can-ny...my temple was a shrine

You don't govern me,you can't turn off milk into wine

Ima get out of this house and leave this women alone

What I did was stupid now I must step down from my throne

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,GET OUT!!!!!!!!





tell me what you think.It waz my first topical

[Soul Shocker]

Ok uppin dis shit.All feedback is welcome

[TwixSin]

close the lines up again...

[Soul Shocker]

uppin this shit come people vote............

[Soul Shocker]

uppin people come on

[EyeBite]

I was feelin shockers verse cuz i got into his better and it was slightly mroe interesting and enjoyable to read....

strucutre and flow was good by both but i say shocker had better flow but twix had better strucutre

vocab was a tie...

rhymems were better by twix since he had usm iight multeries still simple though

creatvity goes toshocker

v/shocker

can you vote on my battle vs king cobra thanks

[Soul Shocker]

iight tanx bro......uppin this #3

[TwixSin]

ok.....

[I Got Pwnd]

twinx had a nice topical...but shocker had a nice poetry feel to it..flowed nicely like spoken word almost...both had nice concepts..I mean drops on the topic..its really close...Im feelin shockers a lil more than twins...cuz I like these lines here...
Full of bad dialogue, tacky sets, 99 pound weaklings, naughty nymphettes

^that was nice....

No hate tho'...Cuz Twinx had sum nice lines too...but a tad bit basic...But shocker had sum nice vocab...an a good twist...no hate tho'..

v/=SoulShocker..

Please hit my battle up with an honest vote...its under the sig in the link..vs Seks Wun...Thanx.

[Soul Shocker]

iight tanx dawg upppin this shit come on people...........

[~MetaSin~]

pretty dope drop by both of yall can't can't vote cause I'm in SS's crew just thought I might give yall some decent feedback for support even know I'm text/audio I love topicals

[smileyfacedkilla]

Vote- Twixsen

Both had good vocab and imagery but I felt like TwizSen's verse stuck more to the topic. Shit was pretty close, though.