Story of a Lady Soldier

[killamami1]

tell me what yall think....jus thought it was a good topic

mami was the gangsta type, never let harm come to her man in anyway
stood on the block, scared as hell, but held her position everyday
she knew her man was strugglin, fresh outta jail, new on his feet
so for her man she would do anything...including bust her heat
her mama begged and pleaded, she needed her daughter to change her life
but homegurl was sprung and evntually murdered her mama that same night
of course, she got caught and went to jail for the kid
but she was down to laugh in the face of the devil in hell for the kid
couldnt see what he was doin, til the cops came through and hassled her
still remember the headline on the news it read: VA street massacre
showed a picture of her body layin lifeless and dead
the street that was once empty and gray was now full of gazin eyes and painted red
had thoughts about it for days...matter fact the thoughts never stopped
and when i cry...i cry the blood she bled when her body dropped

links:
[IMG]http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=247960[/IMG]

[IMG](http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=249288) [/IMG]

[SyCo_187]

you need to leave feed on two OM's Or This WIll Be CLosed
SO Why Not Leave Feed On


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248404

[Soule]

Leave feed on 2 links and post the links inside this thread...(Being specific for ya..)

[Vicious Breed]

im pretty sure she would wshe gets on

[killamami1]

uppin for feed

[EyeBite]

tis was pretty good i was feelin the strucutre and the topic

it was ointeresting and creatvie and i enjiyed this drop

rhmes were good..nicely done...good drop overall..

keep at it homie.....peace..............

[[DEF]]

Very creative...very creative, there was one dissapointing line but the rest were very satisfying...I liked it...it was nice to read although a bit short for me...

still good tho...keep it up cuz it was pretty dope...

[killamami1]

iight thanx for the feed....uppin

[The Vortex]

couldnt see what he was doin, til the cops came through and hassled her
still remember the headline on the news it read: VA street massacre


pretty nice... a few of the other rhymes got a bit basic..but worked all the same i guess..was a bit short and cudda gone a bit deeper and had sum more originality put in it

flow was nice for the most part..had sum good poetic qualities...maybe sum more solid multies next time...nice drop still
stay up

[Young_Streetz]

Nice Shit you shoulda made it a little longer Flow was nice strcture Nice Wordplay i say it was Average and i like the details all in all nice topic nice verse;

[killamami1]

thanx up up!!!

[-IsIs-]

Worst Line,

had thoughts about it for days...matter fact the thoughts never stopped
and when i cry...i cry the blood she bled when her body dropped
^
This line to me felt a little empty of all the above things you incorperated in the lines. the flow seemed off and the structure was a little messed up. alot of emcees or femcees (whichever) start to die off near the end of there pieces. YOU CANT DO THIS, cause the reader gets uninterested with it and will rarely peep your stuff. your ending was alright you dropped on it a little bit.

Best Line,

mami was the gangsta type, never let harm come to her man in anyway
stood on the block, scared as hell, but held her position everyday
^
You came sick with this line, prolly cause it was the first but i dunno. the flow was definitly on in this line and the structure was perfect, none of the ... type things. try to stay away from usin the ... like that, it takes away from the lyrical skill trying to be presented. Keep droppin you have dope potential. just like most rappers here.

[killamami1]

thanks for the feed...much love and respect...uppin

[React]

this was decent....it had some good flow and some hard multies and the imagery was very good, good structure adn the topic was cool too

[killamami1]

thanx much love and appreciation....uppin