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Thread: Gods second man

  1. October 7th, 2005, 12:22 AM #1
    Lurid
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    Gods second man

    my brother gave me this idea to do as a OM cuz he had to do it to get into a crew , so i thought i wud try it aswell , but i dont want to get into no crew.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Buddist , Priest , and Rabbi's , we all Gods deciples
    we fight with our prayer we dont need no rifle
    people have solace when they comfront us
    the only way through the gates of heaven is through us
    so one must , have no sins or repare them , leave no rust
    live life as if God was watching u , my best advice
    pray everyday , dont forget our savior , Jesus Christ
    He was the top dog , a start for a wonderful religion
    look at the whole world now , we mostly christian
    God's deciple's true angels from heaven
    We thank you God , for givin us the Reveren
    Blessed all , and protect our bretheren
    God's deciple's forgive me for what I do wrong
    If I dont reach u by conformation , may i reach u by this song
    Praying day after day aint enough pray all night long
    this utter dismay , the world fallin apart every day
    God's deciple's , forgive us , then save us today , a new holiday
    the day the planet lives in piece a whole no pieces
    clean this earth from the Ghetto to the beaches
    and remember He who teaches is who decides , help our world , let peace collide

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    this is kind like a prayer and a OM
    im jus speakin from the heart
    peace



    the links will b up in one minute
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  2. October 7th, 2005, 12:25 AM #2
    Lurid
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    links

    link1
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...15#post3257415

    link2 (dope Om here)
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...26#post3257426
    Last edited by Lurid; October 7th, 2005 at 12:28 AM
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  3. October 7th, 2005, 12:25 AM #3
    James,
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    you need a lil better structure I liked some of the lines I'd give it a 6.9/10 but I can tell your a battler so..I am sure your way better at that, idk check out some other peoples om to get ideas check out mine, links r in my sig
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  4. October 7th, 2005, 12:25 AM #4
    Cody Nash
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    Wow, Nice stuff...Your opener was dope...lol...loved it...You had a lot of multis in here not really any metaphors to fit the pieces together...but it still came out really dope anyways....lol...Not much to say but to start using more metas...you had decent descriptions and your concept was good...All in all good piece dogg....Like to do a collab wit you sometime....PEACE....

    *Gimmie comments on my most recent: (In the Eyes Of)*
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  5. October 7th, 2005, 12:28 AM #5
    Lurid
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    uppin thnx
    good to hear u like my ish
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  6. October 7th, 2005, 12:35 AM #6
    Lurid
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    word.............................................. ......
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  7. October 7th, 2005, 01:55 AM #7
    .Clever.
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    pretty good...

    i liked opener aswell...pretty deep..flow coulda been better aswell as word choice..like complexity...structure was meh..but what matters is oyu got oyur point across...good ish!

    overall...7.5/10..keep on dropping nigga
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  8. October 7th, 2005, 05:57 AM #8
    Trema
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    ...

    this was good but the structure was a lil off. you had nice vocab and caame with nice rhymes. I felt this piece, A nice drop.
    written voices makes hidden noises
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  9. October 7th, 2005, 09:40 PM #9
    Lurid
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    thnx
    glad yall liked it
    also if u want to hear a piece done by me drop a topic or somfin
    uppin
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  10. October 7th, 2005, 10:47 PM #10
    Lurid
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    .................
    uppin les go wit dis
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  11. October 7th, 2005, 11:27 PM #11
    Word.Play
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    I liked the topic... it was pretty tight, the rhyme scheme was good, u had good multis and good rhymes... vocab was pretty good, coulda used a bit of improvement... one concern i had wit ur piece was the structure, u need 2 work on that a bit man... and make it longer! right when i was starting to get in2 it, it was over... stry doubling that my nigga

    otherwise that was sum pretty hot shit homie... keep it up

    check my last OM in my sig and leave me sum feed homie...
    IJL<--What More Do I Have To Say?
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  12. October 7th, 2005, 11:47 PM #12
    Lurid
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    iight no doubt
    word
    uppin thnx for the feed
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  13. October 8th, 2005, 12:15 AM #13
    Lurid
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    damn take them crickets out this thread
    and y the fuck is it so mad silent
    when people can up there post in here
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  14. October 8th, 2005, 08:10 AM #14
    Lurid
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    .............................................uppin
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  15. October 8th, 2005, 10:11 PM #15
    Lurid
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    ...............................
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