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Thread: They can kiss my ass

  1. October 5th, 2005, 12:18 AM #1
    quills b
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    city of sin

    i pull up fulled up grippin my still
    the tool pulled up siping some armimil
    the fool muled up dipping the scean to feel
    i cant take it i need the bread
    so im ready to shoot and kill
    dough is time bloody do loot and deal
    so i walk in the store and make some noise
    so i talk sin to the whore and take the lifes of the boys
    i empty the register the shit is on and crackin
    but i didnt measure and speed is what im lackin
    so i run and jump in my car and hit the gass
    the chrome gets a pumpand the the cops i pass
    the drone of this dump the police think there crunk they can kiss my ass


    the days have there ways in the city of sin
    the plays have there says in the pitty of men
    the heart of a cold blooded killa born to the dealer
    the part of the bold stealer torn to the killa

    the days have there ways in the city of sin
    the plays have there says in the pitty of men
    the heart of a cold blooded killa born to the dealer
    the part of the bold stealer torn to the killa



    the boots the court the ride upnorth
    the hoot the screaming the hate of sorts
    the jail the time for a heathin
    sstuck in hell with no chance of breathing
    the jumpsuit doesnt fit and the food taste like shit
    the lawsuit rubbin shit panned face the spit
    iall i have is a memory and a song
    but even thats temporary and wont last to long
    so this is my song trapped in a cage full of rage
    like a slap in the face turning the fule to a new page


    the days have there ways in the city of sin
    the plays have there says in the pitty of men
    the heart of a cold blooded killa born to the dealer
    the part of the bold stealer torn to the killa

    the days have there ways in the city of sin
    the plays have there says in the pitty of men
    the heart of a cold blooded killa born to the dealer
    the part of the bold stealer torn to the killa
    Last edited by quills b; October 5th, 2005 at 12:32 AM Reason: i felt like adding something yo

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    yo bitches click here


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    CORRUPTED MINDZ
    BLACK DEATH

    OPEN MIC


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  2. October 5th, 2005, 12:20 AM #2
    James,
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    errr no offense I wasnt feeling it that much....so you need to sorta get your set-ups better thats the only advice I can give you, I liked the speed punch though that was nice
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  3. October 5th, 2005, 12:24 AM #3
    Whyte Out
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    yeah yeah yeah i agree with my nigga detriot i wasnt really feelin it

    vote for this

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...82#post3246682
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  4. October 5th, 2005, 01:06 AM #4
    JayKay
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    I liked your little chorus you had there. But the rest of your stuff I wasn't feeling. Short lines that seemed boring. Although you did have multi's
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  5. October 5th, 2005, 01:11 AM #5
    quills b
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    thanks man

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    yo bitches click here


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    CORRUPTED MINDZ
    BLACK DEATH

    OPEN MIC


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  6. October 5th, 2005, 01:15 AM #6
    Z Man
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    nice man u got skill!
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  7. October 5th, 2005, 01:39 AM #7
    quills b
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    thanks yo

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    CORRUPTED MINDZ
    BLACK DEATH

    OPEN MIC


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  8. October 5th, 2005, 01:46 AM #8
    kryptik_7
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    i want battle
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  9. October 5th, 2005, 02:00 AM #9
    quills b
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    so go to http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=237946

    all u have to do is click it

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    yo bitches click here


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    CORRUPTED MINDZ
    BLACK DEATH

    OPEN MIC


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  10. October 6th, 2005, 01:41 AM #10
    quills b
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    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238194
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238245

    these are my links

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    CORRUPTED MINDZ
    BLACK DEATH

    OPEN MIC


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  11. October 6th, 2005, 06:50 AM #11
    Violents
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    i pull up fulled up grippin my still



    lol you mean steel?

    WHAQ get up out of here nigga you aint no G

    G Boy$ project niggas southside ave holla
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  12. October 6th, 2005, 07:20 AM #12
    This Aint Beef
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    ....hmmmmmmmmmm...

    Seemed awfully basic to me. I would say use a broder vocab. The subject matter was alright... but you honestly didnt carry it out very well. You couldve been far more descriptive. Flow was iight, you should use mult's to help it.
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  13. October 6th, 2005, 07:30 AM #13
    Trema
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    ...

    i wasn't feeling this piece that much, the rhymes were pretty weak although they mainly rhymed you have to use good vocab to bring it together and i didn't see that here. There was a few good lines but overall this wasn't really good. You need to up your vocab and work on your rhymes then it will read alot better. piece
    written voices makes hidden noises
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  14. October 6th, 2005, 09:34 AM #14
    Mic D
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    Very Basic......I see your trying inners.....and a few scatterd multies .....but the overall piece wasnt worth the read... try adding more then just rhymes....the structure is the only decent thing about this
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  15. October 6th, 2005, 09:58 AM #15
    mcl
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    basic wasnt much man but had some good parts
    Runnin with
    the divided
    PoEtic JustUs
    spitfire

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    The young child

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    Cross Hatching

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