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Thread: They Say (Verse For Collab With Blacc Plague)

  1. September 27th, 2005, 01:43 AM #1
    Emerge
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    They Say (Verse For Collab With Blacc Plague)

    They say life's a bitch but it dont make sense
    And I try so hard but I'm losing patience
    I'm my eyes all the lies penetrate my thoughts
    And I perpetuate that fact cuz I'm stuck in the box
    They devise a plan for the righteous man
    Them who profit off this is the whitest man
    Fuck that, Before that I impose my plight
    & Inforce a perspective to oppose the night
    They say we gonna die from venom & aids
    I say I can't afford gas on minimum wage
    I can not be fucked with other people's problems
    I got my own deamons & nobody to solve 'em
    So excuse me for my egocentrik path
    But fuck you you ignorant ass do the math
    They say a lot of shit but I'm a speaker of the truth
    Like a reference monitor, stuck in the booth

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  2. September 27th, 2005, 02:21 AM #2
    Kaotic Theory
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    is this gonna be for audio?
    anyways the message in this be dope yo,the vocabulary was above average
    the emotion was decent in this...... but for this kind of shit you dont really
    need much emotion you feel, nice shit man the lyrics be illin, nice imagery also
    i can't wait to hear it when you lace this onto audio so holler at me when yall do
    peace
    AI

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  3. September 27th, 2005, 02:30 AM #3
    Emerge
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    I shall indeed holler at you when it's posted.

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  4. September 27th, 2005, 05:41 AM #4
    mcl
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    yo man hit me up as well causew this piece was off the chain the flow the rhymes it was all there peace
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  5. September 27th, 2005, 09:09 AM #5
    warchild
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    Good verse but i think you shoulda wrote more to this concept another 2 verses this would make a good audio with the right hook with it obviously.
    Your start off drawed you into the verse the flow wasnt that nice but then you had the line:
    'Fuck that, before that i impose my plight'
    '& Inforce a perspective to opose the night'

    That showed some nice multies then you carried it through to the end of the verse. Your vocab was used well didnt overuse it like a lot of people in OM.
    Some of your imagery was impressive but like i said a couple more verses would make this piece a lot better. Would be a good audio.
    Only thing i could say to criticise would be keep that flow more consistent.

    Return the feed on my new Om id apprciate your opinion on it:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235527
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  6. September 27th, 2005, 12:59 PM #6
    Emerge
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    How can you read flow in text? There is no such thing lmfao.

    Thanks for the peep, and I only had room for one verse so I could only do 16.

    I'll peep later on tonight.

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  7. September 27th, 2005, 03:19 PM #7
    Nique.
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    you can read flow in text you silly newbie

    there is A SUCH THING..

    it's called fluid reading with syllabic rhyming

    and internal rhyming

    like the righteous plan/whitest plan was fluid and rhymed better than your first two lines..the lyrics were alright i guess
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  8. September 27th, 2005, 05:33 PM #8
    Emerge
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    No, moron that is RHYME SCHEME. Not "fluid reading with syllabic rhyming and internal rhyming" lmfao.

    Thanks for the peep though.

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  9. September 27th, 2005, 05:39 PM #9
    -Realism-
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    ...The Verbal needed alittle revision, but, the skill is there, I got ya vibe clearly which is a good thing, The structure was decent, On ya next drop, Keep it tight, keep it flowing, watch ya words, and come with it, you had the aggressive idea, but, lack to bring it here.....Overall, Nyce Concept, and Nyce Beginning for something that could be Hott after alil added work to it.....-JahBless-

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  10. September 27th, 2005, 10:42 PM #10
    $pitacular
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    the lyrics were mad basic.. way too 80's-early 90's for me.. maybe it you flow it right it would sound average.. nothing more.

    I'm surprised. Though I have no clue why.
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  11. September 28th, 2005, 02:23 PM #11
    Emerge
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    It was a freeverse, and lmfao at 80's-90's GTFOH.

    Wow

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  12. September 28th, 2005, 02:38 PM #12
    Deviate
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    Was good... Definately good for audio... I think that you could've used some more complex vocabulary spread out in there, but that's just the OM writer thinking that, from an audio point of view, this was really nice. I look forward to hearing it... So let me know when you drop it...
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  13. September 28th, 2005, 04:22 PM #13
    Jay Walker
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    They say we gonna die from venom & aids
    I say I can't afford gas on minimum wage


    That was tight . rest was kinda blah.



    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm
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  14. September 29th, 2005, 05:57 PM #14
    Emerge
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    No nigga, your mom's pussy that's blah

    Yo mans getting shot dead in the streets.. that's blah

    I'm the muh fuckin 'Merge

    the message and the money

    and you aint got either

    remember dat

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  15. September 29th, 2005, 06:02 PM #15
    Paradox1080p
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge
    No nigga, your mom's pussy that's blah

    Yo mans getting shot dead in the streets.. that's blah

    I'm the muh fuckin 'Merge

    the message and the money

    and you aint got either

    remember dat


    IT has turned you nutz

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