My Stomic's Growling

[Seedy]

Ow, my stomics growling
Ow, my stomics growling
Ow, my stomics growling


Dark, Chilli, Timid Night....................


The smell of mother's garbage,
the smell of fecies that i have to sleep on at night

As i slowly creep with no remourse for soul or life.....
My stomic growls feeling.........like human hands tickling me from the insides

Growling
Growling
Growling
I Feel, Hear, And Tremble Of Each Touch Of Fingers I Feel

Grabbing and pulling each piece of skin inside....
Earthquakes awaken me in the dark alleys of night......


The great smell of food..........Grandma's Homemade Pie When i Was Younger..

Apple , Blueberry.....

The sweet taste delights my mind and each slow step and pacing my breathes


What an incredible feeling..........

Feeling , some sort of hyper..............

Some type of feeling, i cant explain similar to the nights i go out and get high


Holding my arm, this incredible sensation can no longer be felt but tasted deep within my wildest dreams and thoughts...........


No longer.....

I've seen people eat without hands...........
I've seen people eat with no teeth.......................



I am hungry ................For More...of this delightful sensation......This natural high which is such a great wonderland...............


I Am Hungry....


Ow, my stomics growling
Ow, my stomics growling
Ow, my stomics growling

[Geflugelte Worte]

First: Very nice emotion, you have that down.
Next,Id say throw in a bit more vocab and tighten up your structure alittle.
But overall this was an enjoyable and emotion filled read.


I am hungry ................For More...of this delightful sensation......This natural high which is such a great wonderland...............

^ I liked this line the most..

[Seedy]

Thank you for reviewing my drop, i appreciate you're response and i will reconize everything you have said.

[Ether Spitter]

this was definetly different....@ first i thot this was just some dumb shit...but its new to me...ya imagery was nice...but the emotion was more felt...mos def...just like ol boi up top said....nice kid

igido

[Seedy]

Thank you homie, need more replies....thank you homie!

[X Ecution]

this was nice its a different concept. I like how u talked about the situation in detail made for a good read.

As i slowly creep with no remourse for soul or life.....
My stomic growls feeling.........like human hands tickling me from the insides


I am hungry ................For More...of this delightful sensation......This natural high which is such a great wonderland...............

nice lines

please drop some feed on my piece called from under the bed..thx..nice drop n keep postn

[Seedy]

Alright homie, ill check you out

[Seedy]

Uppin , need more replies!!!!!!

[Seedy]

Uppin!

[spokenoh]

You should consider breaking out the dictionary more often or using spellcheck. The amount of spelling mistakes was insane, and sometimes it isn't needed for a poem but when I don't know if you're talking about the coldness of the night or a type of food, there's a problem.
Next, although I found this to be an interesting poem, it really served no purpose. It conveyed how hungry you were, and sometimes you hinted at that the hunger wasn't necessarily physical. You need to really implore this thought not just mention it. You should consider slant rhyming and full rhyming too, and make sure you decide which one is appropriate for your structure, since you tended to use both without any clear use of repetition or format.
There's a lot of things you could really tighten up with meter and other things too, but basically, just try to convey your thoughts and topics with emotion, instead of poorly chosen words strung together loosely.
Keep writing.

[RXL]

^regardless

point came across and yes, i have felt what the poem is describing lmao

good poem, like where you went with it, but couldve used more imagery feel me?..

all came nice together, BUT couldve been longer, and that ties in with the more imagery part

still tho, work on vocabulary, more vocab, better way to describe things around you

[Atti]

Ya, I've Gotta Agree With What Was Said Above
... I First Started This Thinking It Was A Joke,
One Of The Herbs Who Just Post Stupid Shit And Think They're Funny.

But This Is Actually A Tite Piece.
... Lots Of Raw Emotion To It.
What I Liked Is The Way You Used A Basic Feeling Everyone Knows,
And Then Weaved It Into More Complex Elements Of The Human Self.

Also I Must Agree With Realist At The Same Time And Say,
... You Need Some More Imagery.

But Overall This Is A Real Unique Piece,
... Alot Of Strong Point With Not To Much For Me To Complain About.
Nice Job Man.

[Seedy]

Thanks you....Rise at once!

[Seedy]

Word up, uppin!!!!

[Seedy]

Uppin!!!!!!!!