Jus blaze!

[oneton]

high as fuk, jus somthin i wrote right now hehe...

dont bother us when we crushing our greens/
we clean out bowls like maytag washing machines/
eyelids droppin like chinese when its thirty past six/
and when the spliff finishes a three six, it'll be gone in a minute/
woah...im flyin mang, like thirty stories up/
got the tree rolled up, releasing puff like diddy did,/
you wanna hit of this? nahhhh... you must be crazy bitch/
better put 5 on it, if you wanna blaze our shit/
stacking bricks like a mason; spit real brazen /
you know we get rugged like motherfuckin cavemen/
and if im mistaken, i dont wanna be correc-ted/
call us the vortex-kids, head spinnin like we neckless/
rob a bird for her nestegg, strippin men for they neckless, /
faggots, i show you how the tyrannous get reckless/,
but nope we aint no gang-sters/
still we remain murdurous without strappin bang-ers/
and nope i aint a stranger to smokin the strain herbs/
only the stickiest buds will ever touch this flame hurr/

peace! :drink: :blazed: :blazed: :blazed:

[oneton]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...29#post3084229
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...23#post3084223

[Trema]

high as fuk, jus somthin i wrote right now hehe...

dont bother us when we crushing our greens/
we clean out bowls like maytag washing machines/
eyelids droppin like chinese when its thirty past six/
and when the spliff finishes a three six, it'll be gone in a minute/
^^^Ayt pretty basic, pretty weak lines there!

woah...im flyin mang, like thirty stories up/
got the tree rolled up, releasing puff like diddy did,/
you wanna hit of this? nahhhh... you must be crazy bitch/
better put 5 on it, if you wanna blaze our shit/
^^^The first two lines dnt rhyme??? I'm confused

stacking bricks like a mason; spit real brazen /
you know we get rugged like motherfuckin cavemen/
and if im mistaken, i dont wanna be correc-ted/
call us the vortex-kids, head spinnin like we neckless/
rob a bird for her nestegg, strippin men for they neckless, /
faggots, i show you how the tyrannous get reckless/,
but nope we aint no gang-sters/
still we remain murdurous without strappin bang-ers/
and nope i aint a stranger to smokin the strain herbs/
only the stickiest buds will ever touch this flame hurr/

peace! :drink: :blazed: :blazed: :blazed:

I mean this seems like you either rushed it or dun it without effort, pretty weak and weak vocab.Try to use more complex work, bring out the topic more.