Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Temptations

  1. #1
    Apostle OS
    Guest

    Temptations

    -Temptations-

    "There's only one first love"

    When I first met you you were star struck,
    we kept our gaurd up for luck cause hearts can get fucked.
    I'm bein honest my intentions went beyond sex,
    now first impressions are a lil outa context, why the foolish mind checks?
    I always took your coat that's my courtesy,
    you gave me dirty looks in return but they hurt you more than they hurt me.
    I never planed it to do you damage,
    I'm a man so I never used my hands for what I couldn't manage.
    You took advantage when we was pantless,
    my love for granted, I finger fucked you crazy jus so we could manage.
    Now befriendin me's condemnin me to memories,
    gotta new tendencey to remedy the vemon wit some V.S. Hennessey.
    Homely tones disown me, not alone but lonely,
    you was more than a bone you was my homie,
    then you picked up your bags and left my ass in the past,
    no questions asked, jus more trash to wrap in leaf and turn to ashes.
    Last edited by Apostle OS; September 2nd, 2005 at 10:31 AM Reason: lyric change

  2. #2
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    uppin

  3. #3
    Mar Mcloud MKs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    1,045
    Battle Record
    2-1
    i liked this... simple but to point and vocab was ok but using stuff like "Lil" isnt really good for topicals try to use the full word but this was good. Keep Droppin.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! X-treme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    London, U.K
    Age
    35
    Posts
    68
    This wasnt bad at all homie

    I never planed it to do you damage,
    I'm a man so I never used my hands for what I couldn't manage

    Thats a nice line man i feelin this piece

  5. #5
    Ads
    Guest
    meh. structure wasnt tha bad. so it helps the reader follow along. your flow was choppy a little at points here and there, but nothing bad enough that you cant work on it. imagiry was meh meh, gotta work on that...just think harder. other than that it wasnt that bad, but wasnt that good either.

    just work on it man..youll elevate..

    good job.

  6. #6
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    uppin

  7. #7
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    uppin

  8. #8
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    uppin

  9. #9
    Krayawn
    Guest
    The structure was tight. I mean the verse was tight as hell, a couple of lines didn't flow.. but the point was made, which always in my opinion, Is more important then anything. Good shit

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ExPlOsIvE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    UK, Wales
    Age
    36
    Posts
    180
    Nice bro, the flow was really nice and easy to read, the multis were nice and i liked the whole of ur rhymin scheme. The wrdplay was nice but culd be elevated.

    Part from that nice drop and keep droppin.

    Peace Hit up my !!! Sick And Tired !!! drop plz homie.

Similar Threads

  1. Heavy Temptations
    By LyricallyInclined in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: March 29th, 2007, 08:17 PM
  2. The Temptations
    By David Ruffin in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: February 12th, 2007, 06:45 AM
  3. Heavy Temptations
    By ~lextownkillaz~ in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: November 22nd, 2005, 11:07 AM
  4. the Temptations. . .
    By FormulaSquared in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: May 16th, 2004, 02:06 PM
  5. Suicidal Temptations
    By G. Wiz in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: February 23rd, 2004, 08:58 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •