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Thread: Fr33style (my 3rd rhyme)

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Gr33kChris's Avatar
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    Fr33style (my 3rd rhyme)

    rocking at a party with bitches drinking bacardi
    got dem hoes shaking there thing screamin hurry
    beats pumping bit of snoop singing ladi daddy
    pussy all ova but god dammn der was dis one
    da bitch musta weight a tone tellin me bout fun
    clocked teh gat and told her moove or die hun
    running screaming outa da party dis mofo is crazy
    da right bitch run smoked so much my eyes goin hazy
    now sitting on da chair or lazy afta an hour im back up
    looking for a hotie to freak with, der is one bitch wodup
    telling me im kinda cute by her man is right behind me
    as i was turnin a hook to my jaw he be sayin sup now g
    crew ruuning in to watch my back bats knive and guns
    crews getin feud up bitches screaming and dat fool runs
    chasing out da party in the streets fool still be running
    closing up on him but now i relise my crew be gunning
    cought up to him ma boy tript him and showed da nine
    points the gun to hes head and said who the bitch dis time
    kicking started punches slash slash gash the a gunshot
    after taht all you hear is silence then sirens oh shit were hot
    my boy blasted this figure and he only rushed one trigger
    now we running from the cops tryna hide the nines and glocks
    but we wasnt fsst enough now we in tha pen in diferent blocks
    conteplating why im hear listening to nothing but chains and locks
    when are we gona take minute and relise this is were my life stops

    see all bout bitches and thugs
    and all bout snitches and drugs


    this is my 3rd rhyme hope you like it

    UPPING FOR SOME FEED BACK!!!!!

    my 2 links

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=227691
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=227697

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    CRAZY
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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Gr33kChris's Avatar
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    upping for some feedback good or bad i need comments so i know what to improove!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. #3
    Banned Vamp.'s Avatar
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    this ones a bit better.....vocab is lame..structure is iight...punches bleh...

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Gr33kChris's Avatar
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    you spit then if u spit something betah dan me ill stop rapping for life go on show me u beta den n stop jusdgin were u have neva showed one rhyme on this site

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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Gr33kChris's Avatar
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    upping for some feedback

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    CRAZY
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