I would sit in bed at night thinkin my lifes shite,
Thinkin of the pain my mum went through in that train,
My first mistake came when i drew out my gun and took an aim,
Wata shame now im inside for 15 years now it aint a game,
Cumin out in2 the world again seein how much shit ive bin missin,
Seein my son grow up in2 a man now makes me think y did i draw my gun,
Why did i take aim after all is was just a silly fukin game!
Need 2 no if i got potential
cumon peeps
U need two leave two links, and this will be closed even if you do because you didnt write 16 lines.
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Leave decent feed to two pieces, and make it 16 lines long.
the piece itself wasn't anything Ive never seen before a hundred thousand times, your structure is wayyy off and you rhyming is wayyyyyyy to simple man, come on...
Think about your next piece and read the rules before you drop.
elevation is imminent
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
your not a moderator, so shut up..U need two leave two links, and this will be closed even if you do because you didnt write 16 lines.
__________________
anywayz the rhymes were ok
struutre seemed alright
same with flow
with sum elevation you can have potential
but by this drop with simple overall rap skillz
iight job for a newb, but elevate more
peace
- scribble, u stfu.
U either play by the rules or dont play here you fucking newb, go find some talent you fucking fool.
Issue, Never knew u could be like that tryin 2 sound hard makin ur self sound like a twat,
lemme tell ya sumfin u no fuk all ur just a little boy tryin 2 sound to kool
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