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Thread: Inner Pain feat ILLunatic

  1. #1
    Life & Times
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    Inner Pain feat ILLunatic

    Nominate for HOF or Legends if you think its worthy...

    Inner Pain feat ILLunatic

    ILLunatic

    I got a bright mind, but a dark soul
    A warm heart, but I show my hearts cold
    I seem to appear as something I'm not
    Inside I'm crying in tears, but never showed a drop
    My reputation, thats all I've got. & I live to it, it's sad
    It's not me, but it's all that I've ever had
    All my pain & fears, deep inside, I hold them in
    In public I'm fine, but alone, they unfold within
    I dont kno when I'm sappose to give, I'm so confused
    I dont kno what to do, Mentally, I feel so abused
    Through & through, for some reason I refuse to change
    I never understood this, just always knew it was strange
    As I've remained the same, all my pain has grown
    Refused to get close, retained to stay on my own
    Keep my problems to myself, away from anybody else
    Reguardless if they really care, n just wanna help...

    LM
    Everybody gets that feeling of hurt, grieving...
    The numbness never leaving, wounds not healing
    Stealing your forgiveness to be replaced with hate
    The anger takes action in situations you create
    Weight builds on your shoulders, its too much
    Try your best to laugh, but you cant try enough
    Coz you feel crushed, every touch burns the skin
    Putting on a brave face, hiding the pain within
    In time you begin to feel the stress, the pressure
    Soon it becomes too much to handle & measure
    Life has no pleasure, leisure time filled with tears
    Your lonely, emotional, living your deepest fears
    And it appears to never stop, but you try in vain
    Instead of talking, you bottled up your inner pain
    And its hard to regain confidence as it proceeds,
    To tear you apart and break your heart til it bleeds
    If it succeeds you'll spiral down into depression
    Now everybody notices your painful expression
    The questions are asked, "what was the cause?"
    "Who cares, just get me back how I was before"
    More tears fall to the floor, friends & family rally
    Tryna help, but with so many demons...
    ...You cant ever be happy



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=211406
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=211112
    Last edited by LM; July 18th, 2005 at 08:11 AM
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  2. #2
    Newbie hope™'s Avatar
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    WOW . lm man you let ya emotions roll .. fuccin sce piece flow was on point .. LM jus keep weitin i love it .. !!
    lol


    9.5/10

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  3. #3

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    ight i liked this shit you 2.

    jeyld well together.
    ill came with a diff style agen
    sorta on a spoken tip and it worked
    cuazse its hard to make that style flow
    perfectly but i think you got it.

    lm came more complexed and better
    with his emotion it was a very nice
    read

    The questions are asked, "what was the cause?"
    "Who cares, just get me back how I was before"
    More tears fall to the floor, friends & family rally
    Tryna help, but with so many demons...
    ...You cant ever be happy

    liked the ending big time sorta sum'd up the whole piece.

    nice collab yo good shit....

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  4. #4
    Life & Times
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    Thanks....Uppin
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  5. #5
    Cyber Fucked Your Mother Jae Cyph's Avatar
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    word up i told illunaticers on AIM his verse was nice.. as was your K .. I don't have time for a break down right now but bet that its dope...


    good shit ya`ll.

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  6. #6
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by K
    ill came with a diff style agen
    Not really use to doing text anymore


    Add & Follow

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  7. #7
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    aint read any of your stuff for months, aint been on, but this was tight, worked it together well, fitted nice, and the two styles didnt seem to clash, just followed on really, nice job,

    be a mate and hit my verse...
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  8. #8
    Articulate
    Guest
    damn i like this piece a lot the stucture from both of you was good and most likely the same but im gonna give each there own feed so here

    LM i thought you had a good flow and stucture nice vocab nothing i would change about that you dont need super good vocab to make people like your piece cuz i like this but the thing i missed out on was emotion add some more in there the imagery was very good and overall i liked your half.

    Illunatic
    i thought you did good as well i would like to see you write more often then just once and awhile cuz your pretty good the stucture and flow was good the vocab was decent, the emotion was there a little more imagery was pretty good so overall i was feeling your part..ILLunatic can you rtf here http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=211112

    1

  9. #9
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    this collab was tight...
    the strucutre was great and the flow was great as well....this style weas very enjoyable to read...the emotion was here and the topic was nice.....it was also interesting to me... and the title caught my eye..this was creative and the rhymes were super...great job both of you.......keep it up

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    "Inner Pain" is a good topic to write about which shows the deep and emotional-like meaning. I don't think that this is HOF worthy it's too simple and short, but it is a good piece. So I'ma give feed to Illunatic and to LM seperately.


    ILLunatic:

    Good flow, good rhyming, decent strucutre.
    Very simple and understandable. Vocab = simple.
    I like the part where you wrote that you
    refuse to change. I've read better from you
    but this is good too. Good job!

    LM:


    Longer verse, excellent structure, simple voacbulary.
    The last part was sad. I liked your part better then
    Illunatic's to be honest. No hate if y'all get confused.
    QueenStyle

  11. #11
    aemeth
    Guest
    Eh not bad..

    I was feelin the topic, seemed to get a tiny bit redundant though..

    I liked the it's not me/all Ive had line and the inner pain line..

    Still, no lines that jumped out at me, but it was a decent drop..

    7.25/10

  12. #12
    Life & Times
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    Thanks people....

    Uppin
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  13. #13
    Life & Times
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    Uppin
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  14. #14
    Life & Times
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    Uppin for last time
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  15. #15
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    The flow here was damn nice. I like the content and some of the imagery in this one. Work on vocab here, but this is one of the nicer drops I've seen on the site.

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