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Thread: Open Your Ears UP

  1. #1
    Madik
    Guest

    Open Your Ears UP

    I get explosive after i swallow grenades
    with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids
    armed with a blade, stocked up and ready to shave
    any emcee who dares to cross me ends with a fade
    cause i'll slice you arms at and angle with your tighs
    dismantle you eyes after my verbs strangle your vibe
    stand on your side, repected by all, feared by none
    hear me son, cause respect dont come with gun
    but if it does, i'll hope on a bus, bring the buzz on
    appear on your freshly cut lawn with guns drawn
    and another pair in both of my pant pockets
    a switch blade with still aids and a hand rocket
    ready to twist your hands faster than the one on your clock is
    cause once i'm aimin' at you, it's done, you can't stop it

    Hook
    PT. 1 x3
    i'm unstopable, invinsible, a giant
    stoppin' over anyone who decides to be undefiant
    after 3rd time [so!!!!!...]
    Pt. 2 x1
    open your ears up and listen
    cause if you don't, i'll stand with two machetes in your kitchen

    For those who love to tell this and tell that
    think again, cause the day i die, all hell's sent back
    it's madik the still rap head bringin' danger and ruckus
    with rhymes that never bend, so no way that you could fuck this
    but don't under estimate, i'll bring the heaven gates
    to you door with on line and make body and soul seperate
    see i'm satan but i never had the balls to admit
    the reason my rhymes ready to crunch they almost naw off my lips
    jump off my dick and get ready to shift, heavy with gifts
    leave a box at your door that'll blow off your skull and your ribs
    cause i'm still madik, skill pattern, that kills standard
    emcees that stand on stage and hope to get real pampered
    but i'm here to bruise and kill, who's is ill, newbies feel
    the power of my rhymes like a liver who's new to steel

    Hook
    PT. 1 x3
    i'm unstopable, invinsible, a giant
    stoppin' over anyone who decides to be undefiant
    after 3rd time [so!!!!!...]
    Pt. 2 x1
    open your ears up and listen
    cause if you don't, i'll stand with two machetes in your kitchen

    i'll drop my links soon, i've given feedback to almost everyone.

  2. #2
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Strong Island
    Posts
    33
    i liked ur first verse a lot more than ya second one...the flow and the lyrics were juss set up a lot better in my opinion...

    I get explosive after i swallow grenades
    with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids
    armed with a blade, stocked up and ready to shave
    my favorite section

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  3. #3
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    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
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    Battle Record
    2-1
    You need to post two links, to two OMs you left decent feedback on, or this gets closed, thanks.
    ...

  4. #4
    Yung Caesa
    Guest
    Gud rhyme there dawg, but I agree with duzt, your 2nd verse had a lot more imagery. Example:
    'cause i'll slice you arms at and angle with your tighs
    dismantle you eyes after my verbs strangle your vibe'


    Your wordplay iz gud, enuff similies ('I get explosive after i swallow grenades/
    with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids') metas and mulits for my liking.


    One thing I wud say is your vocab... Although ur rhyming structure was sick there, you could improve it by adding in some better words cuz u got all the basics well and truly nailed. Mind you, there were sum well rhymed and clever words in there but it still needs improvement. Everything else I didnt mention is fine (flow, easy-to-read etc.), and one more thing:They were some gud intro lines, that shit will attract attention.
    Nice job.

  5. #5
    yyoo i liked this it was hot....i agree wit my man that the first verse was better than the 2nd but overall it was def. good...the flow was nice along with the structure and scheme......also u threw in some sick metaphors which was good...overall i give it 7.5/10 keep it up

  6. #6
    Madik
    Guest
    thanks everyone...i'll take the advice dawg...

  7. #7
    Merk Squad Lay Doubt.'s Avatar
    Join Date
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    Cali
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    36
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    Battle Record
    46-9
    Awards Legendary Member 25+ Wins OM HOF LLL HOF LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted Cypher Winner
    this was aiight i guess. kinda reminded me of somethin eminem would drop, for instance:

    appear on your freshly cut lawn with guns drawn

    in rock bottom eminem said.. "i'm runnin up on someone's lawn with guns drawn"

    but i dunno, it just didn't seem very creative or original. i liked this section though:

    I get explosive after i swallow grenades
    with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids
    armed with a blade, stocked up and ready to shave
    any emcee who dares to cross me ends with a fade

    though once again, it did seem like somethin eminem woulda dropped a while back. coulda polished the flow a little more imo. for example:

    it's madik the still rap head bringin' danger and ruckus
    with rhymes that never bend, so no way that you could fuck this

    if you had taken out "that" in the second line after "way", the syllable count woulda been on. it wasn't a bad piece overall, just didn't stand out or nothin.

    anyway, yeah.. keep writing and elevating. peace.
    Been a real one.

  8. #8
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    Join Date
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    Location
    London
    Age
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    Battle Record
    2-1
    No links.

    Closed.
    ...

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