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Thread: Dreams [Collab]

  1. #1
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    Dreams [Collab]

    Dreams are a portal into the soul
    Don't fear them, let em take control

    CrazyCarl
    Dreams tell me what I hope to be
    Subconsciously, free all without fee
    Distorted views of the present
    Retorted hues of color lessen
    If you dream in black and white
    Sometime seems to back the fright
    Of a nightmare in your brain
    Used to scare on the brink of insane
    Contemplate and think, but retain
    Alleviate but sink, in hopeless pain
    Oxymoron's to deal with increased stress
    Approximately stealing time from the rest
    Of your thoughts in the daytime
    What you can’t control on your mind
    You can try to think positive
    But these fake ideas won’t stop this
    Terror of the night, hand on our cerebellum
    Use the light as a serum to dispel them
    When we awake, the dream is gone
    Have you witnessed an angel, or hell’s spawn

    Dreams are a portal into the soul
    Don't fear them, let em take control

    Sammy B
    I lay down in my bed that same old routine
    My eyes slowly close as I begin to dream
    Suddenly I am drifting through a sky of aquamarine
    An ocean flowing the setting calm and serene
    Rapidly a disturbing scene begins to play
    Fear slowly rising you can't get away
    The impending doom impossible to delay
    A message of distress can't possibly relay
    Nothing firm enough to jar your sleep
    The scene is your family dieing as you weep
    This image cannot be removed it can only seep
    Deep inside your brain, a thought not wanting to keep
    Free from pain but never from emotions
    Steadily sinking constant demotion
    But still you persist showing your true devotion
    Then you're awake due to a violent commotion
    Not found in reality your own thoughts notion
    A cold sweat on your forehead from your dreams motion

    Dreams are a portal into the soul
    Don't fear them, let em take control

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Sammy B
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    Bump

  4. #4
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a good collabo you both had good vocab so you described your feelings in raw detail the imagery was decent too i think carl your flow was slightly stronger than sammys espically on this line:
    Distorted views of the presesnt
    Retorted hues of colour lesson
    Those lines stood out in your verse.
    Sammy your imagery was good but try and up the flow thats the only criticism i could say about your verse.
    Good collabo i appreciate the feen you left on mine.

  5. #5
    .:The Topical Guru:. Trema's Avatar
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    This was decent

    it could of been better crazy i have read alot of your work and you was lacking a little in this piece! this sounded like poem material, and it was kinda deep! Carl bring back some of your better stuff i'm here waiting to read it!

    check out My piece
    Last edited by Trema; May 12th, 2005 at 04:35 AM
    written voices makes hidden noises

  6. #6
    Newbie ~nrgetik's Avatar
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    Real dope collab. loved the structure and rhyme scheme and concept wasn't too bad either keep up the good work cuz!

    NRGeT1K

    APOTHEOSiS
    TOPiCAL KiNG


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  7. #7
    Gimme a Tenner, Bitch
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    Lines were very short but very complex. I liked it.

    Carl the first few lines were good. The vocab was pretty good with the use of cerrubellum. This flowed OK aswell

    Sammy I thought that you had the better verse due to the longer lines a better flow and the wider range of vocab.

    Fave Lines

    lay down in my bed that same old routine
    My eyes slowly close as I begin to dream
    Suddenly I am drifting through a sky of aquamarine
    An ocean flowing the setting calm and serene

    Oxymoron's to deal with increased stress
    Approximately stealing time from the rest
    Fuck a Sig!

  8. #8
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    Uppin

  9. #9
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    this was really a great peice, i like to read great peices and this is one of them i like!!! Keep it up! i'd give it a 9/10!

  10. #10
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    thanks, uppin

  11. #11
    This was really good, very original. I havnt gotten to read other posts from either of you yet but if you keep up the use of vocab and style it should all be tight

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Kstroyer's Avatar
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    man very good peice.. complex and short at the same time.. keep it up.. ill be def. checkin out other drops.

    replies:
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=255034#post255034
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=256385#post256385

  13. #13
    Back rile1's Avatar
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    sick vocab and colab ppl!! I liked tha flow, and i too noticed that Crazy's lines had a lil more but I liked it nuntheless keep up tha good work guys-peace

  14. #14
    yo for real i was feelin that.i like da vocab and da flow was tight. on the real one of da best callbos i seen.

  15. #15
    Denied Truth
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    Carl man you know i gotta say you collab'd dope on this mayne..Sam B...big upz to you u dropped dat knowledge on em...Vocab and multies and flow was nice Carl and Sammy you dropped dat education on em man...Propz for this piece..nice to see some peepz otha den me trynna educate da masses!...
    U know i gotta up myne too go peep it Sammy B and eryone else http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...70#post2419570

    Church

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