Tim Corleone vs Sir Veilence [Elite Topical]

[Tim]

you called me out in a PM so i accpect

Topics to choose from

Last Day
The Final Walk
Death Row Calling

10 lines +

Due Thursday 12:00 am Pacific Time

500 + to vote or SS member

[Tim]

checkin

go ahead and choose the topic

[Sir Veilence]

in.

all topics seem to be very simular..

Blah.. make it Last Day

could we possibly make the line limit just 10 and above? because i might go over 20..

[Tim]

do what ever you would like sir

[Sir Veilence]

dope.

G/L Tim

[Stat.]

Uppin

Dont forget about this Timmy...

[Tim]

word ill be dropping when i get home today from school

wordums go ahead and drop i just need 4 lines

[Tim]

The Aftermath

On the roof shaking & sweating victim in my site
Taking a life getting ready to kill, is this one Right
All my nerves intact and my sniper Wesson Drawn
Can’t hold back the hyper aggression this dudes gone
It was grosser then shit till it was opened and dripped
I unloaded the clip and His head exploded and ripped
I poured lead through his back and then his fore head
& all the gore bled in the cracks and created more red
I was crying out loud and ran down to his side screamin
Trying to revive him in the crowd not bothering leavin
Momma, Please look at your son, look at what I've done
& I always thought I'd be the strong one in this long run
I wont weep for my loved one, but maybe cry tonight
One day I shall see the light, you and me will reunite
you need not hold that weight, for you were just so great
Don’t be afraid, as you venture through the Golden Gates

The Beginning

Father, forgive me for what I'm feeling inside
It's so hard for a vandal to handle dealing with pride
I don't want beef to start, I'd rather keep this heartfelt
But although it's hard, I gotta play the cards I've been delt
To hold his soul in my clutch and crush his skull into mush
But how do I Kill someone that I love and respect so much?
This Man taught me self defense, and built my confidence
And With common sense towards any man I fought against
He was always there for me, teaching me giving free lessons
And I confess, to you lord that he answered all my questions
Trying to add to the respect you've earned from your preachings
So I can keep you on my side and learn from your teachings
Like a pacifist who never asked for this, now I'm surrounded
Im down for the count, but there must be some way around it
This is my Confession lord I pray remember all the time we had
I find it kind of sad for this is the last day.......I love you Dad

[Stat.]

koo...

ill drop in like five minutes..

[Stat.]

Last Day.

He was running from nothing, all except his own behavior
A young black male named Exavior, that didn’t have a savior
Had good Charisma on stage an got his experience with age
A great life, at least as it appeared, not a single sign of rage
Read every single page of his books as a boy, a lover not a fighter
Grew to love rap, girls, and money, he became a talented writer
Used to battle his friends every day at school in the lunch room
Got a reputation as a rapper, that was good with the punch too
An’ as soon as he’d come through, the others would all move
He was smooth, any emotion in human veins, his lyrics could sooth
Had any girl in the school, he was more then good with the looks
Known as crook yet he got straight A’s, and was good with the books
Life was straight and narrow, but with rap it was bound to turn around
One day he got jumped after a battle, and was pounded to the ground
He turned 16 two days later, quit school and put his books on the shelf
He was bruised and battered over words, and his “friends” didn’t help
They couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his parents were shocked
He stayed in his room for 3 hours on his b-day, his bedroom was locked
His father panicked in a fast paste then broke the door down in a fast way
The 16th anniversary of his first time on earth, was also his last day….

R.I.P
Exavior

[Stat.]

Honest votes please.

i dont want to lose because tim has more net friends then me, if i lose i want it to be fair.

good job Tim, g/l with the votes.

leave links and we will both get to them.

[De'Sizzle]

take that shit to the poetry room. Both of u. That aint battling that is bullshit. Besides, it looks and sounds like u the same person. Like 1 person wrote all those words. Y'all need to quit frontin and take your story tellin shit soemwhere else. U r supposed to be batling. That means clown on eachother and try to make the other person feel stupid. Not see who can tell the best story.

I'm glad I cant vote for this shit cuz it's "WACK" as "HELL".

[Stat.]

This is a TOPICAL battle.

learn how to read. then talk to me

[Mr. Write]

^lol....you definetly arent from MY state. No sir...i sure wouldnt "want" to be "you" right now.

[Main Activity]

good batttle

Tim-outstanding job man..you had great imagery..your content was expressed very well man..i love the way you worded your lines..you did a good job of showing how deep you felt with the topic..your choice of wording was great..i love your rhymes..the vocab was also good..overall great job man..i love the confidence and fought against line..that was really dope

Cru-you did good man..for your first topical..this one really wasnt all that bad..you can tell your starting though..and in topicals..you really dont want to worry about multis as much as you made sure for them to be in there..in a topical..try to make more content..instead of worring about finding a multi..your imagery was good..your content was ok..vocab wasnt all that strong...but you did a good job


v/tim