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Thread: The Sit Down.

  1. #1
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    The Sit Down.

    The Sit Down.

    *Brain Damage is playing in the background*

    Yea. Whats up man, come on in, sit down...

    The mood was mellow...
    My fellow feelings sensed forged friendships
    From actions from back when I was born in this
    At first, shit was stupendous, like amazing grace
    We were face to face, rakin paper, just playin games
    But then, things began to change...shit started missin
    & I always had suspicions, hint the problems mentioned,
    Like, what was our intentions... then I asked you list ‘em
    Then within the instant, you quickly dipped, kid...
    ...which is when my wisdom grew
    You put 2 and 2 together, because you knew, I knew
    Which was true, just new & I wasn’t positive
    Whether or not ya prerogative was a problem then
    It was anonymous, but I thought for hints
    For days I gazed why you faded in the mist

    Now times have changed, and we’ve grown astray
    So today’s the day I confront theives older ways
    ‘N hey, this way it’ll free you from a debt
    Of the things inside your head, just listen up, I said...

    Now, I know lifes a bitch just tryna fuck yers
    But we were brothers, just grown from other mothers
    And now, ya lucks spurred, so trust herb
    You crossed ya boss and thought I’d bust burnt
    ...
    ‘His moneys gone and his products robbed, sure he’ll melt’
    ...
    Fact of the matter, people started the chatter that cured my wealth
    See, I just laid it stealth, played the shade with a ear to the street
    It’s been a year and a week, but ya queer...yer beat
    Ya see...it folds times 10, but 20 with a friend
    Shit, we swore until the end that the money wouldn’t win
    We would’a went to the grave incase of danger
    We’d relate through the anger, the manger, & the paper
    But now ya went & changed it, & now I’m here to face shit
    So say a prayer and cover ya face, kid

    *If I Had, comes on*

    So I looked into his face, and I started to cry
    But then the music hit, and I realized why...
    ...
    He had to die
    ...
    ..
    .
    *Silence coved the room as I tuned into the music*

    **What are friends?
    Friends are people that you think are your friends
    But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
    and disguises, to hide they true colors
    So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
    they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
    What is money?
    Money is what makes a man act funny
    Money is the root of all evil**

    *BANG*
    *BANG*BANG*

    Will Edit Links
    Last edited by Jay Walker; April 22nd, 2005 at 09:12 AM
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  2. #2
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    actually i like this not at the stature of the original em song but it would of been hard to achieve that it was good work on humor and structuring
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  3. #3
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    Word, thxs...and I dunno if it was clear or not, but just so people dont get it twisted...that last snippet thats in the **...** is quoted from the song If I Had by Eminem, its playing on a stereo in the background...im not trying to say, I came up with that snippet...

    Word.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    no pop i aint insinuating just stating twin the work was very solid
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  5. #5
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    alright, let me be thug and respond.. as you dropped the link in the TNL lounge, by "Brian damage" in the background im assuming you meant Eminem's song, if not.. shut up.

    i think this would be a lot better in audio form, so you could actually hear the *bang bang* because personally i dont like it when people do text "bangs" haha, but for the rest of it, i liked.. you did a PUUUUrty good job with it.. and KEEP DOING IT!
    MondoThugs.

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  6. #6
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    ^Word thanks, bro. <--- to non centz

    I liked your recent piece, also...V

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...07#post2322607

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=187528

    And word, rose, I did mean Eminems song...if you look on his first cd...Brain Damage is the song right before If I Had... so as this piece is told, Brain Damage finishes, and as the tension is at the peak, If I Had comes on, where it kinda sums up the whole, friends turning snake/ money causing evil bit. Thx for the feed, dude.
    Last edited by Jay Walker; April 21st, 2005 at 07:46 PM
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  7. #7
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    hi.

    this was tight. with or without these '*'.
    imo i didnt make a difference.

    The rhyme scheme you used was tight, real smooth.. and i agree that this would sound good as an audio.

    stay wise foolio.

  8. #8
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    word. thanks. i have an audio idea for it too, just dunno if i can pull it off.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  9. #9
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    not bad, rhyme sheme needs work
    .. and than it will flow more solid.. keep dropping.
    .. I am what you wish too be.

  10. #10
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    ok. thanks.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  11. #11
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    Yea, it seems all ready for audio, which looks like it would turn out good. I liked the concept. You were pretty descriptive with the piece, you had some vocab scattered throughout. The rhyming was alright, and the structure was fine. You had emotion in spots, which brought up the quality.
    Return the feedback
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185738

  12. #12
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    thanks. fav returned
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  13. #13
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    yeah. i liked this.

    i refuse to breakdown cuz that aint my style.

    i can do it over aim, though.

    holllller.

  14. #14
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    w00t w00t.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  15. #15
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    more.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

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