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Thread: Hitch Hiker

  1. #1
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Hitch Hiker

    just a no-show verse I liked

    I am a genuine failure
    Because I refuse to wear a taylored suit
    And cleanshaven features are leechers for the cute
    My dad was a jaded preacher with everything
    To lose
    And I had the love seeker in me before I was even two
    I never abused drugs, felt my parent's love but refused hugs
    Cause I knew the day would come where a cold shoulder
    Would be a shrug
    So I was prepared to shrug off God, and abandon the road
    To deserted trails of lost females where emotions are rolled
    Into marijuana tumbleweeds, where my words are cannons and moats
    I sell the harmless product to kids with no fathers
    and false hope
    I wish I could call home...
    That my flashlight had batteries and I had some light
    That the grumbling in my stomach was the thundering in the sky
    Cause I feel the remnants of yesterday creeping in today
    And I have nothing left to say
    Just to throw up my thumb and inner bottled pain of decades
    Spent in the rain, vomiting
    The remains of undisgested love, sex, age
    In a tragic mood, this asphalt is rabbit food
    On my way to the hitchhiker trails
    To the river of styx, depression nailed my saviour to a cross
    With spike nails.


    Credz, I hit up some kid named 6one7 and a diss by The Prince of Penis. Peace.
    can I kick it?

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Brainz's Avatar
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    This was overall hot
    You dont even need feed you hold ya own

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~

  3. #3
    Banned AL CAPONE's Avatar
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    ok man that was pretty good verse u know but in tha begining u had short lines and then u had longer ones so i felt u were weak in tha begining and then came strong at the end need 2 work on flow and word structure but ur lines were good and tha delivery really got a good overthrow for ur verse but i can see u are a good rapper and probably wasnt ur best but im not goin to say it was ur worst but keep on workin on it and ull exceed overall rate-7.5/10 good job!

  4. #4
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    It's funny how anything good in this section is overlooked like fuck.
    can I kick it?

  5. #5
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    ^true man...first i wanna say the flow was good in despite what others think.if they don't see the last word on every line rhyme with the last one the line before or after then the flow is off.idiots!it's good for a no-show,considering in no-show verses u do it more like a keystyle,you don't take your time to write.the rhymescheme was good and not that predictable and i noticed as i read your good word choice.i liked very much the way you painted the imagery,you gave a good amount of detail for the reader to understand yur piece better.fav part:
    "Cause I feel the remnants of yesterday creeping in today
    And I have nothing left to say
    Just to throw up my thumb and inner bottled pain of decades
    Spent in the rain, vomiting
    The remains of undisgested love, sex, age" - i like how you emphasized the longer lines thru the shorter ones.

    over all a good read.good piece man.first time i read one of yours...Keep it up!

    and if you have time please drop a feed in this:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181482

    i got only one good feed,others lame one line feeds from noobs.Peace man!
    Def Poets Society

  6. #6
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    "Just to throw up my thumb and inner bottled pain of decades
    Spent in the rain, vomiting
    The remains of undisgested love, sex, age"

    That was my favorite part. This was a very poetic, introspective piece. I enjoyed the read. Keek up the good work.
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  7. #7
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Thanks hombre.
    can I kick it?

  8. #8
    man that was hot good lyrics and flowed nice keep it up

  9. #9
    Kid A Stuff'd Aminol's Avatar
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    This was a good read, pretty creative and serving well in carrying the topic, some lines stood out this one was dope
    "I never abused drugs, felt my parent's love but refused hugs
    Cause I knew the day would come where a cold shoulder
    Would be a shrug"
    so yeah, keep up the writing you inspire me maaaaan

  10. #10
    kanye2929
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    keep the mad shit up nice concept and feeds were ill

  11. #11
    Mú§!C starz's Avatar
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    u go down the street take a right but if u see a stop sign uve gone 2 far so g0 ask the mexican name tido that sells drugs at the corner and most likely he wont n0 were either so get out ue car and run full speed backwords threw a corn field naked
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  12. #12
    .
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    yo that shit was ill nice.
    Steer.

  13. #13
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Up.
    can I kick it?

  14. #14
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    More.
    can I kick it?

  15. #15
    ¤|-.Alpha.-|¤
    Guest
    Nice peace.


    "Just to throw up my thumb and inner bottled pain of decades
    Spent in the rain, vomiting
    The remains of undisgested love, sex, age"

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