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Thread: jus some to show I'm still here.....HnR...ya know how we do

  1. #1
    deine mutter BeRLin`S BesT's Avatar
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    jus some to show I'm still here.....HnR...ya know how we do

    let's go...


    I’m back to rappin’ had a few things to deal with
    So I signed, sealed, delivered the deal quick
    Hurried to return......
    just know I bring along the real shit
    Rappers suck up my music like I’d suck on Miss Beils tit
    I’m steel fit, fitted to feel equipped
    So if u feel like shit it’s prolly cuz of who u dealin’ with......Me is it
    U try to hop on it while I’m steerin’ it
    Big body benz, start cheerin’ kid...
    u know it is DrztiC
    My flow alone puts holes in you bastids
    I hand out ass kickz like Asterix...
    bitch slap just as fast as Kung Fu masters
    and just like Ras Kass I’ve mastered the art
    Twist up lines so spastic
    spit with my brain, soul, body and heart
    Throw a rhyme and rip ya whole party apart
    I’m so fuckin’ hot...Cuz of how much Ice I melt
    these hoes went to re-body the arche
    Come and study the charts you prolly won’t see me
    But once u recognize realness.....
    U’ll let the poll phones run hot and threaten the TV
    ....stations...go all out and swear to bomb the whole nation
    I’m slowly gettin’ impatient
    Still chasin’ and racin’ to find my way out this maze
    To start scrapin’ and rapin’
    who turned on the gay route like Mase
    Kidz say “Hey Now” today
    But it’s too late...they way out the way......



    Back to business...Call it the black Tuesday of rap
    I’m bout to run this circus...u stay where u at
    This shit is done for one purpose....a new day, a new wrap
    Came to paper bag another wack head like a bottle of booze
    U couldn’t drop super rap if u swallowed a whole bottle of ooze
    Push the throttle and swoosh passed contestants
    Nice guys finish last...call me an ass and get smashed then
    Stashed in the dash when my peepz jump in the whip
    Can’t see my playin’ with toys while pumpin the grip




    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=180617

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178939
    Hit N Run

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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    yeah that flow and delivery is tite fo sho.. had sum cool lines.. black Tuesday of rap


    pz
    .................................................. ......................

  3. #3
    deine mutter BeRLin`S BesT's Avatar
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    wow I've been blessed with a shit load of feedback....thx
    Hit N Run

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  4. #4
    Newbie SirJeri's Avatar
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    your verse got some decent multis and there are lots of inners... i can see that you even know how to accent rhyming words... you got some decents rhymes...

    i think what you can do is work on a new topic coz the one that you got is already played... but still give you some props for coming out with some good vocabs...
    S U R G E R Y


    [M]ortal
    [A]bove
    [N]ormal

  5. #5
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a decent verse there was a coulpe of good punches in there your vocab was good the structure needs a bit of work.
    The flow was nice in places but it was inconsistent in some of the bars i thought the last 8 bars flowed well so id just try and keep the flow more consistent.

    Could you reply to these.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=180994
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=182306

  6. #6
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    nice enough for a boast verse man, a few good punches and a tonne of good multi's. i think your weakness in this piece is just the bar length, the lines seem uneven in some places and it affects the flow of the piece. besides that, your vocab was solid and punches pretty imaginative. i'd like to see you tackle an original topic mate.

    pm me about a collab. and keep 'running' things brethren.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  7. #7
    deine mutter BeRLin`S BesT's Avatar
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    word...i thank y'all for the constructive criticism...yet this wasn't written on topic it was more to show activity...no real effort but nontheless I should prolly work on some points....thx
    Hit N Run

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  8. #8
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    it's nice for what i think it is,more of a keystyle because like u said it doesn't have a topic.it flowed good,multis helped a lot.what i would've liked to see it's longer lines for more wordplay and a better rhymescheme(not that it didn't flow right,but u could've made changed the rhymesche often with longer bars).like johnny said do a topical one.there is a collab going on in "collab central"...if u wanna drop something...overall a nice read.keep dropping man!

    and if ya have time check "lost innocence" in my sig cuz i got slept on big time...
    Def Poets Society

  9. #9
    Na~Ledge
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    AS usually a nice verse from u filled with multies. Some original punches in there to fam. Looks like DirtzC is getting back into old form. Nice drop. Keep reppin.

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I wasnt feelin it u need to elevate.

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Brainz's Avatar
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    It was dumb tight for freestyle. Iwas feelin it but I think you be even better if you stuck to a topic. Over this shit hit a straight 8.5 out of a ten good shit.

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~

  12. #12
    deine mutter BeRLin`S BesT's Avatar
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    once again thank y'all for the luv...I'll be checkin' ya ish out fa sho...plus topicals are to come....pz
    Hit N Run

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  13. #13
    deine mutter BeRLin`S BesT's Avatar
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    still here
    Hit N Run

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