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Thread: ...Between The Buried And Me.

  1. #1
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    ...Between The Buried And Me.

    She made me
    a noose of roses
    and threw it
    around my heart
    with a decaying kiss
    and a growing lie.
    The thorns
    cut my neck as I
    fell into the garden
    of pestilence
    that's choking the
    lingering fragrance
    from beauties breath.

    (I can still smell the sweet death.)

    The red pedals
    bled onto
    the end of the rope
    I was holding.
    when I hit the ground
    she said to
    read my palms
    if I could wash away
    the dirt.

    (For her, falling in love
    was a jump off of
    a twelve step staircase.)

    I tried to hang
    my halo high.
    but I was lynced
    on the tree of life.
    Now my halo
    lays just below
    my dangling feet.

    I've seen a
    seed be reborn
    and uprooted
    in a single storm,
    so I can't plant
    new roots unless
    you're already
    six feet under.

    Between the buried and me
    is where you'll find
    my lover...



    *I'll never find this heaven on earth or heaven above
    Its the difference between being in love, and being loved
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    poyzonivey
    Guest
    i look at this as a beautiful tragedy. It was nice to read and the structure was well put. My favorite part:

    The thorns
    cut my neck as I
    fell into the garden
    of pestilence
    that's choking the
    lingering fragrance
    from beauties breath

  3. #3
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Dope poem mindless. You one of the best poets that I love to read and this was good.

  4. #4
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Hurry up and get into legends, you poet you. You are probably the best poetic writer on this site. You should come with me to bboys. Oak kay?
    can I kick it?

  5. #5
    you never ready Fiasco's Avatar
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    Nice poem, it was very rich in imagery and your word usage was really great, every aspect of the piece made it better in my opinion, and the pace was perfect as well..great job man
    -Fiasco
    Po'Ethics.

  6. #6
    Newbie
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    though you dont really want my opinion, and its obvious who this is about. Its beautiful. And wonderful to see you still writing. I wish we could do something together soon. I went to this great coffee shop on fairbanks the other day. you'd like it. Or maybe you've already been there. Hope to hear from you soon. keep up the Good work...

  7. #7
    Him
    Guest
    It's about you damn you must be a heart breaker. But this was a good piece mindless, I thought that everything came out nice and I enjoyed the read.

  8. #8
    Newbie =|Šopy_Right|='s Avatar
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    This was ok good of been better if it had better vocab and poetic metas something you lacked you need to elevate want to battle ?

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Rein Ryder's Avatar
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    Re: ...Between The Buried And Me.

    ^lmfao?
    this was brilliant.
    loved it from the begining.

    some favorites:
    The thorns
    cut my neck as I
    fell into the garden
    of pestilence
    that's choking the
    lingering fragrance
    from beauties breath.

    (I can still smell the sweet death.)


    ^that whole bit right there had great imagery and vocab, beautiful.

    I tried to hang
    my halo high.
    but I was lynced
    on the tree of life.
    Now my halo
    lays just below
    my dangling feet


    I've seen a
    seed be reborn
    and uprooted
    in a single storm,

    loved this bit too,
    hell i liked the whole thing just these pieces i wish i coulda thought of in a few years time.
    but ur Great.
    By far one of the top poets.
    another stanza of brilliance.
    it all felt like an oxymoron of genius.

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