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Thread: You/your.....

  1. #1
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    You/your.....

    YOU always looked down on me...YOU, YOU, it's all YOU
    Demoralized my spirit with all the harshness YOU threw
    Played catch with my soul, and sadly I started believing
    That I was insignificant, and thats a horrible feeling
    YOU mock the way I look, YOU laugh at the way I speak
    And YOU poke fun at my race, I'm not white so I'm weak?
    I jus stood in the corner smoking, but the light revealed my fright
    Lung's black I didnt wanna see YOU, so I exhaled night
    The sight of YOU disturbs me, and I wonder if maybe YOUR saying the truth
    Am I really good for nothing, cause I'm a minority and a youth
    All the headlines and top storys, in all the newspapers seem to agree
    But what YOU don't understand, is that those headlines aren't me
    I could tell YOU "Don't stereotype" But it would fall on deaf ears
    Cause YOU only hear, what YOUR brain wants to hear

    Picture this, a dark alley with trash littering the ground
    The streetlight fades in and out casting shadows all around
    An open dumpster against the wall, and a body halfway in
    Face is face down, looking towards where his new life will begin
    The outskirts of the ghetto, three gunshots in the back
    What do you assume, I bet it's that the murderer is black
    Look at the fuckin headlines, when a white kid kills someone
    "Nice white varsity athlete gives in to peer pressure and drugs"
    You blame video games and movies, cause white people aint criminals
    You always blame something else, and it makes you feel better yo
    Aint nothing ever your fault, yall can't ever take the blame
    Your rules and your game, where I'm forced to play
    Now same situation where the killer is of colored skin
    "Asian gangster compromises innocent lives in a street shootout again"
    "Black drug dealer kills one as drug deal turns sour"
    "Mexican gang brawl ruins store and kills innocent bystander"
    The media skews images, and feeds into Your very fears inside
    Land of equal oppurtunity? We got more of a chance to die

    So FUCK YOU YOU piece of shit! I aint like YOU think bitch
    I'm automatically trouble? Cause my first language isn't English?
    YOU say we never change, same old shit and nothing new
    But YOU have to give us a chance, and then we'll surprise YOU
    I'm finally fed up! I swear next time someone gives me a look man
    ...Nah I aint violent, There that disproves everything YOU believe in
    But Fuck you and you and you, but most of all especially YOU
    Cause YOU have no idea, what its like to be me dude
    YOU know who YOU are, but do they see YOUR face?
    Do they know what it's like to be spit at in the face
    Or kicked out of stores, cause people expect me to steal
    And being randomly searched, cause I'm expected to deal
    I could give YOU a name, but I must be weary of backlash to me
    So for now I'll just call YOU.........................American Society
    Last edited by Laureate; March 8th, 2005 at 05:18 PM
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  2. #2
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    very nice lyric I feel this. it had a great deal of emotion in it and it was an enjoyable read although kind of sad. nice work.

  3. #3
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Ever Dream's Avatar
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    woah.... just... woah..... Ben, this is REALLY GOOD! I can relate to this in multiple ways..... This actually comes across to me and not only pure truth, but almost genius.... I love how you dont give it a name, because in all honesty you can't place a name to everyone that applies to this. The prt where you stated that "the headlines aren't me"...that alone speaks volumes to me becasue the American society does judge you by what they read in the paper. And when you speak in a different language than english, they take it as your talkin trash or plotting on them.... I can relate to this poem in so many ways, and the way that you have written and depicted it, speaks volumes to me.. You my dear, have prduced a great peice of work here... and I applaude you for this....


    keep droppin



    ....bless


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  5. #5
    poyzonivey
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    This is really powerfull in words. My mind is outta breath lol I like how you poured your anger out like that and i especially liked the end

  6. #6
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    this is a tremendously strong piece. so blunt, so angry, so direct...towards whites though. i mean i know there's a great amount of whites who sterotype, but don't sterotype all of them. that's just my thought, cuz i am white, and i have never looked down on another human for he/she's skin tone/race.

    but, i do feel what you're saying. it was full of emotion and very well writen. i really enjoyed every section to the piece. the middle of it was writen so well and fit so perfect into it.

    g'job Lyric.

  7. #7
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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  8. #8
    Yeah i think this is my favorite piece of yours. Because it seems so real and lots of emotion behind it. It also had of clever lines in it and a lot of truth behind it. Only thing i didnt like was u hatin on us whiteys =P
    Great piece i like this new style of yours.

  9. #9
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Thanks...not exactly hatin on whites....jus our culture makes it hard for minorities
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  10. #10
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    ^Agreed, this was a strong piece and your emotion read well. You carried this peice even though i felt like you lapsed a few times overall this was still very good. Glad to see this piece written by someone not black, cool to see your perspective i agree 10,000%, stay up man, much respect, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  11. #11
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    Really interesting. It wasnt at all complex, or driven by imagery and metaphor. But I really liked this for all it's bluntness, and it's anger. This is a real good venting piece, nice job. Not too much else to say really.

    Oh, and could you give one of the OMs in my sig a rep, if you get a spare chance? Thankies.
    Last edited by Dan Dare; March 11th, 2005 at 02:08 PM
    ...

  12. #12
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Thanks fellas....I'll peep your collab soon Jek
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  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! DJsmokey's Avatar
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    well gotdamn, this some deep stuff man...... i love it.

  14. #14
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Uppin
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  15. #15
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    Damn, this hit at the heart with me. It really defined everything I feel. Seriously, this was incredible. I felt the emotion, so strongly. I could tell you weren't bullshitting any of it, everything was so true. I can definitely relate with the poem man. You weren't deep, you weren't philisophical, you weren't writing a poem full of incredible imagery, but you were real. I really loved how raw this was, it seems like one of those poems that you just sit down and start writing and can't seem to stop because there's so much on your mind and so much emotion that you have to get out. I won't even touch the subjects about the technicalities because this didn't seem like the type of poem that you have to break apart, find deep hidden meanings and check every line and thinks about whether the syllable count was done well or the rhyme scheme was off. This was just you. At first I didn't know what to expect, I thought, maybe parent abuse, maybe girlfriend issues? but then it got to the bare bones of the poem and totally blew me away. This is strong poetry, the type of poetry that makes you want to do something, not just sit down and analyze, but say "Fuck, I know what that's like!" I really liked this and hope you keep being truthfull and real in your writings, I really enjoyed the read.
    murder murder

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