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Thread: "Soldier In Conflict Vietnam"

  1. #1
    Can I Buss
    Guest

    "Soldier In Conflict Vietnam"

    A piece for the TL at RS .

    Watch as my comradery fell, and I rely on me . .
    never thought the plague of death, could envy me . .
    as I stab the grass with boots covered with blood . .
    the morning city dew, replaced with the 3rd world flood .
    I can't take this, as we sweep in with the 70's might .
    lost my best friend yesterday, & were losing this fight .
    Praying to God, that I left my children with kind words .
    & my wife, vivid memories of me eyein her skirts .
    the screams of horror take the gasp away .
    cause I stare at the floor, as even the dirt begins to decay .
    bullets fly like rain, as it splashes onto my face .
    flesh, rot, starvation insist as my body beings to waste .
    I scream in gore, as my life beings to seem dim .
    cause i've suffered this reality, while my control is to win .
    I hear planes soaring in like birds of a feather .
    as my complextion turns to red, as the skin is the texture .
    I feel sorrow for the ones blown to smitherines .
    reinforcments fly in, to devistate the rest of these human beins .
    the bullet intakes into my left leg, but I continue to sprint .
    as I fall to my wounds, I feel light again to my astonishment .
    im taken to a new place, as if the God's wanted it .
    my platoon, born again, alive & loving as a whole new section .
    My knife is clean, and Im standin with a new weapon .
    im free'd, as tho is seems, but I look into the perfection:
    My health is restored and im packed with ammunition .
    back to the hunting grounds, as if this was all fiction .

    " Being A Soldier In Conflict Vietnam ."
    - Video Game Character .
    Last edited by Can I Buss; March 8th, 2005 at 12:23 AM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    sexi_dominicana
    Guest
    OMG that was amazing.... and so deep. I really liked it. Keep up the good work!!!!

  4. #4
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Thanks, if you read it .

  5. #5
    sexi_dominicana
    Guest
    ^ obviously i read it...

  6. #6
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Well, you responded so quick, and do the same to everyones pieces.

  7. #7
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Bump .

  8. #8
    GhettoFabolous
    Guest
    Wuzz up man, this was a tyte story. Madd imagery and good emotion, could feel as if i was runnin alongside u step for step ya feel me? U could of made this longer, the endin left me confused dint know if u talkin bout heaven or it was jus a dream. Overall, nice work. U'd like mine n berlins piece, World War II. Peep it.

    1

  9. #9
    Will Merk You
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    South Jersey
    Posts
    1,670
    Battle Record
    21-6
    i peeped this in the tryout thread.. yeah this is a good topical, ups n downs like many verses have.. but all in all you stayed consistant.. had some nice lines with thought behind them.. described it very nicely.. keep at it.. peep this out
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176138
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.

  10. #10
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by GhettoFabolous
    the endin left me confused dint know if u talkin bout heaven or it was jus a dream.
    It's about like being "a video game character ."

    So I won the level .

  11. #11
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Up, Up & AWAY!!

  12. #12
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Up .

  13. #13
    sexi_dominicana
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Can I Buss
    It's about like being "a video game character ."

    So I won the level .
    that i didnt get... i thought it was like a battle of some sort... ok... interesting

  14. #14
    .Spitualistic.
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    --------------
    Posts
    7,156
    Battle Record
    33-13
    I WAS DIGGN THIS PIECE, IT WAS VERY WELL THOUGHT, INTROSPECTIVE POINTS, NICE IDEAS.... LOOK 4WARD 2 READ'N MO' KEEP DROPPN HOLLA....


    KALIKOZE9/11

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176218

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  15. #15
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Thanks .

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