30 lines
due sunday
good luck
Topic:
Through the eyes of God
30 lines
due sunday
good luck
Topic:
Through the eyes of God
Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
ight
Check
Good luck
God: No No, Its all going wrong, This Wasnt Suppose To Happen
Gods Wife: You Designed This World, If It Was Up To Me, You Men Wouldnt Be Around. There Would Be No Evil Or Anything Bad!
God:
When I first began, the world was full of happiness and love
People respected me, shown love "praise the one above"
The world was a happy place to be, Everyone Lived in Peace
People shared amongst each other, Everyone would feast
No shortages of food,there was plenty to go around, to share
People would show love for one another, someone to fall on who cares
Hate would be their fate, My world was great and peaceful
No hate was shown, no advantage taken of the gullable
People were safe to roam the streets, Not be rushed of their feet
Everyone was classed as one, each person recognised as elite
But in this day and age, the world has changed from all of this
People seem miserable, everyone is no longer in a state of bliss
Poverty is everywhere, Hate is in the air, The world has changed
Human minds have changed, People have been driven to be deranged
The wealthy have seperated from the poor, Now everyone is mistreated
The world is not what i wanted it to be, I almost feel defeated
No longer do people feel at one with each other, but feel hated
The world is no longer ran by me, but by other people, Its Dictated
The world at the moment is not what i thought it would be, Its bad
I no longer feel i want to be named the creator of this, It makes me sad
In the future I hope for all of this evilness to be wiped out
No doubt no one wants this, My wish is for success devout
A perfect world containg no violence nor iBullying or Hate
There would be no fate, The world would be everlasting, No debate
No poverty or inequality would be good, The world be so much better
Instead of hate we`d show love, blackmail would be a love letter
A better place to live, people would feel safe on the streets
Women would be safe, Gangs would be around in fleats
In the future of this world, No violence, no poverty and no lies
But this will never happen, BECAUSE ITS ONLY IN MY EYES
Gods Wife: Wow, I never new you had an emotional side
God: Well, Now You Do, Its time to make ammends
not that its a big deal.. bid i DID say.. and we DID agree.. that it would be text verse vs text verse with no extras.. dialogue is an extra.. but its kool.. mine'l be up tonight when i come in.. without dialogue..
Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
Through the eyes of God
in a place vailed to the human eye.. where i watch and wonder
whether im seen as the God of grace.. or the God of thunder
my sons and daughters you are not forsakened.. this i promise
these lips are honest.. my eye's in the sky as distant comets
from the dawn of time cursed.. to see my creations de-create
being a lost piece to this chessgame.. is not an easy wait
til judgement day is upon us.. i know that it seems selfish
but to have will is to be independant.. & so im left helpless
each childs born pure.. this i give but im just the sponsor
it tears me up.. to see innocent souls turned to monsters
and i cry for those of whom.. the quality of living is bad
to see daughters raped & sons stabbed.. not the vision i had
the peaceful entity of life.. as much as i'd like to erase her
can still be felt.. alone in the woods through mothernature
i stay with you through it all.. i feel everything that you do
a small piece of me, you see.. i live my own life through you
existance molded of dirt & sand.. maybe was the worst plan
dont forget i was birthed as man.. and felt it firsthand
the sorrow in my heart.. for the pain & suffering of mankind
i never planned to disease.. abandon.. or leave a man blind
lives are lost in vein everyday.. i fear evils growing number
i supplied the world with food.. why do people go in hunger?
and to think about, all the time i put in.. isnt it great?
it took seven days to build.. milleniums to fix the mistake
washing away the sin of man.. forgiving all endless & honest
heavens gates'l flood.. as we again replentish the process
the world wasnt born of bad blood.. it developed over time
just a few kinks in the chain.. can have people going blind
and altho i understand ur barraged with evil since youre born
its still ultimately up to you.. if u wanna wear wings or horns
Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
When I first began, the world was full of happiness and love
People respected me, shown love "praise the one above"
cool
The world was a happy place to be, Everyone Lived in Peace
People shared amongst each other, Everyone would feast
ok
No shortages of food,there was plenty to go around, to share
People would show love for one another, someone to fall on who cares
aight
Hate would be their fate, My world was great and peaceful
No hate was shown, no advantage taken of the gullable
ok
People were safe to roam the streets, Not be rushed of their feet
Everyone was classed as one, each person recognised as elite
nice
But in this day and age, the world has changed from all of this
People seem miserable, everyone is no longer in a state of bliss
ight
Poverty is everywhere, Hate is in the air, The world has changed
Human minds have changed, People have been driven to be deranged
good
The wealthy have seperated from the poor, Now everyone is mistreated
The world is not what i wanted it to be, I almost feel defeated
ight
No longer do people feel at one with each other, but feel hated
The world is no longer ran by me, but by other people, Its Dictated
not really feelin this one
The world at the moment is not what i thought it would be, Its bad
I no longer feel i want to be named the creator of this, It makes me sad
nice, flowed good
In the future I hope for all of this evilness to be wiped out
No doubt no one wants this, My wish is for success devout
alrightish
A perfect world containg no violence nor iBullying or Hate
There would be no fate, The world would be everlasting, No debate
cool
No poverty or inequality would be good, The world be so much better
Instead of hate we`d show love, blackmail would be a love letter
good
A better place to live, people would feel safe on the streets
Women would be safe, Gangs would be around in fleats
ight
In the future of this world, No violence, no poverty and no lies
But this will never happen, BECAUSE ITS ONLY IN MY EYES
haha nice finish
sylentz.. im not to much of a topical head.. but from the topicalz i've red this was quite nice, i felt it flowed good,stayed on topic.. didnt stray off.. had some creaitivity in there aswell
in a place vailed to the human eye.. where i watch and wonder
whether im seen as the God of grace.. or the God of thunder
ok
my sons and daughters you are not forsakened.. this i promise
these lips are honest.. my eye's in the sky as distant comets
nice
from the dawn of time cursed.. to see my creations de-create
being a lost piece to this chessgame.. is not an easy wait
haha cool
til judgement day is upon us.. i know that it seems selfish
but to have will is to be independant.. & so im left helpless
not really feelin this one
each childs born pure.. this i give but im just the sponsor
it tears me up.. to see innocent souls turned to monsters
lmao no
and i cry for those of whom.. the quality of living is bad
to see daughters raped & sons stabbed.. not the vision i had
alrightish
the peaceful entity of life.. as much as i'd like to erase her
can still be felt.. alone in the woods through mothernature
ight
i stay with you through it all.. i feel everything that you do
a small piece of me, you see.. i live my own life through you
decent
existance molded of dirt & sand.. maybe was the worst plan
dont forget i was birthed as man.. and felt it firsthand
was coo
the sorrow in my heart.. for the pain & suffering of mankind
i never planned to disease.. abandon.. or leave a man blind
nice 1st, 2nd ok
lives are lost in vein everyday.. i fear evils growing number
i supplied the world with food.. why do people go in hunger?
nah not really feelin this
and to think about, all the time i put in.. isnt it great?
it took seven days to build.. milleniums to fix the mistake
ight
washing away the sin of man.. forgiving all endless & honest
heavens gates'l flood.. as we again replentish the process
ok
the world wasnt born of bad blood.. it developed over time
just a few kinks in the chain.. can have people going blind
hehe getting back ontrack
and altho i understand ur barraged with evil since youre born
its still ultimately up to you.. if u wanna wear wings or horns
was cool
center... i felt u started and finished nice, but the stomach of ur verse wasent there.. not as nice az the open and finnisher.. didnt have the consistantcy.. wasent on the topic az much either.. had nice flow and ur complexity was there.. i thought u had it when i started reading into about 3-4 barz.. but then on u just fell off, had u been consistant this would have been yours
v/sylentz
Vote disqualified for suspected dickriding. - Celestial
Last edited by Cels; March 6th, 2005 at 09:00 PM
^^no i complained about him voting b4... your in sinamens voting ring
Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
yo dude ill hit up this 1 if ull hit up http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175685 thanks
Peace
Up1
And centre there was nothing wrong with guccis vote, if hes in sinamens voting ring (which was a rumour) then thats him not me.
word i think sy took this one..
it was close but cs came way to basic
on his approach...sy had a decent
concept and a good aproach on
the topic...the topic is mad played
but sy still came to come fresh
with a nice flow good sense of vocab
and good structure that simple
bitch and ill slap you....
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Celestial
no, vote counts. -feeble
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bleh, you stole meh topic from my other topical thread :P
i'll vote later. good battle though.
- u n r e a L -
. . . and yet still keep shit real
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the one since '99
Decent battle. Gucci, You are an idiot for breaking down a topical battle line by line. It is impossible to do that, and catch the drift and emotional imagery of the piece. You sir, are an idiot.
Anyways, to the topical. This was a strong battle. Both performed nicely. Sylentz i thought that the dialogue hurt your verse, only for the reason tnhat would God really be talking to his wife, and then all of a sudden burst into a novel of rhyming and emotion. i dont think so. But, it was still a good verse, started off real slow, but gradually got better. Center sight, you also had a good verse. Yours also started a bit slow, got better, and then the neding really fell off. You didnt really stay consistent enough. There were bunches of lines where there was good points with strong energy, but it fell off towards the end.
It was close.
V/Sylentz.
i dont know but i cant vote but that was a hot fuckin battle..... if i could ill give it up for both of ya'll
up2
anyone leavin links has gotta vote first then leave a link, otherwise no i wont hit them
Sylentz
When I first began, the world was full of happiness and love
People respected me, shown love "praise the one above"
The world was a happy place to be, Everyone Lived in Peace
People shared amongst each other, Everyone would feast
No shortages of food,there was plenty to go around, to share
People would show love for one another, someone to fall on who cares
Hate would be their fate, My world was great and peaceful
No hate was shown, no advantage taken of the gullable
People were safe to roam the streets, Not be rushed of their feet
Everyone was classed as one, each person recognised as elite
Pretty touching first verse, I liked the views of famine being explained in today's world, hate throughout the land, and people being mistreated through gulliablity.
But in this day and age, the world has changed from all of this
People seem miserable, everyone is no longer in a state of bliss
Poverty is everywhere, Hate is in the air, The world has changed
Human minds have changed, People have been driven to be deranged
The wealthy have seperated from the poor, Now everyone is mistreated
The world is not what i wanted it to be, I almost feel defeated
No longer do people feel at one with each other, but feel hated
The world is no longer ran by me, but by other people, Its Dictated
The world at the moment is not what i thought it would be, Its bad
I no longer feel i want to be named the creator of this, It makes me sad
Poverty being shwon through God's eyes is a good point. Pretty Solid second verse, I like how you stumbled on the fact that God is becoming less of an..objective force throughout the nations, and secularists taking control. Many people don't believe anymore, tis' true.
In the future I hope for all of this evilness to be wiped out
No doubt no one wants this, My wish is for success devout
A perfect world containg no violence nor iBullying or Hate
There would be no fate, The world would be everlasting, No debate
No poverty or inequality would be good, The world be so much better
Instead of hate we`d show love, blackmail would be a love letter
A better place to live, people would feel safe on the streets
Women would be safe, Gangs would be around in fleats
In the future of this world, No violence, no poverty and no lies
But this will never happen, BECAUSE ITS ONLY IN MY EYES
Excellent closing verse, sounded like something out of the Apocolaypse. The end of days and the second coming of Christ motive here.
Solid verse, stayed on Topic. good for you.
Center Sight
in a place vailed to the human eye.. where i watch and wonder
whether im seen as the God of grace.. or the God of thunder
my sons and daughters you are not forsakened.. this i promise
these lips are honest.. my eye's in the sky as distant comets
Good Personification. God can indeed be wrathful :|
from the dawn of time cursed.. to see my creations de-create
being a lost piece to this chessgame.. is not an easy wait
til judgement day is upon us.. i know that it seems selfish
but to have will is to be independant.. & so im left helpless
Interesting. Please explain chesspeice line to me I don't follow.
each childs born pure.. this i give but im just the sponsor
it tears me up.. to see innocent souls turned to monsters
and i cry for those of whom.. the quality of living is bad
to see daughters raped & sons stabbed.. not the vision i had
Really Good Line....I mean. REALLY Good.
the peaceful entity of life.. as much as i'd like to erase her
can still be felt.. alone in the woods through mothernature
i stay with you through it all.. i feel everything that you do
a small piece of me, you see.. i live my own life through you
Very moving. Well written.
existance molded of dirt & sand.. maybe was the worst plan
dont forget i was birthed as man.. and felt it firsthand
God was not birth a man. Jesus Was. Points off.
the sorrow in my heart.. for the pain & suffering of mankind
i never planned to disease.. abandon.. or leave a man blind
lives are lost in vein everyday.. i fear evils growing number
i supplied the world with food.. why do people go in hunger?
Again, Another Good Set of lines.
and to think about, all the time i put in.. isnt it great?
it took seven days to build.. milleniums to fix the mistake
washing away the sin of man.. forgiving all endless & honest
heavens gates'l flood.. as we again replentish the process
Seven days line was good. The rest...?
the world wasnt born of bad blood.. it developed over time
just a few kinks in the chain.. can have people going blind
and altho i understand ur barraged with evil since youre born
its still ultimately up to you.. if u wanna wear wings or horns
Alright Closer.
I noticed that Center was Kind of juggling around on his topic, alternating between God's eyes and Jesus's eyes, especially making a huge mistake on seeing through Jesus's eyes..Implying Jesus as God. Big No-No to get facts mixed up in a topical battle. Overall you had a very solid verse. But factualy mistakes killed you, not to mention the occasional stray form the topic, You also had some unnessesary filler lines there.
My vote goes to Sylentz for a sturdy well rounded verse. He stayed on topic, was factually correct, and gave abetter presentation.
V= Sylentz.
Good battle though. GJ Center.
VOTE
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