Poem: Body Language?

[Baron Mynd]

The more I entertain
the thought, The more
I convince myself that
our walks through life
are accurately mapped
out in our skin.
With no two being the
same, but with each
sharing similarities.
With each wrinkle being
a river, stream or valley.
With each blemish
representing a rough
patch we've either been,
or have yet to go through
Our hairs indicating large
forests or fields we've
passed without so much as
a second glance. With
our fingerprints resembling
contour lines, and
our spots becoming the
hills we've raced to the top of.

The more I entertain the thought,
The more I convince myself that our walks through life are accurately
mapped out in our skin.

I just wish I could find a 'You Are Here' sign,
and check that im heading in the right direction.

Pz!






Sorry for how its structured, got sick of kids not reading the piece and just quoting any old lines - this helps stop that. Hope you enjoy. :^)

[Foreshadow]

This was nice luther. I love how this has so many words that just draw up pictures. The way this was a big metaphor was real nice as well. I liked this piece alot keep dropping.

[poyzonivey]

You can visualize at the same time realize your meaning. I like how you repeated that one line at the end it gave it impact and the end lines were the best way ta end ya poem. NICE!

[Prince Escobar]

I agree about repeating that line to better the impact, btw wuttup man?!
I thought you were long gone, good to see you around again maybe we can stir up a little of that old trouble? lol but back to the piece i liked it, i mean its clearly still there and this was just the tip of the iceberg, it had a good pace and good imagery as well, nice job, stay up, 1luv.

[blackmoon]

nice work of art, my fellow poet

[Baron Mynd]

^ Doubt you read it, but ehhh ..

[p O e T i Q u E]

I agree wit poyzon and dnf about the last two lines, This was a nice poem. I liked the part about blemishes and the rough patch part. I liked the poem throughout, and i've also liked some of your other poems....Keep droppin

[Dan Dare]

Cam, you should really talk to Nfamous about joining Intricate Emotions.. poetry league.. I'm trying to get him to compete you see, and he really needs a team ASAP. You would get some real feedback in there (no offense intended to anyone above me).

Anyways, I'll try to take a better look at this tomorrow. It's getting rather late.

[Baron Mynd]

Yeah, DaNFamous known me since like .. what? Late 99/ early 2000? Im not sure id suit the poetry league, I dont know all the ins and outs about it, thats what im trying to learn now .. I basically, come up with a concept - that I think is dope, then try getting that across. Im surprised at how positive the replies have been thus far actually.

[Dan Dare]

You're good enough for the league I'd imagine.. I think one or two of the people in the league, have really never even written a poem before. You could still get more real replies though, there are a lot of decent poets in the league as well. And it would be a nice way to elevate.

Yeah.. this poem is kinda simple though, at least on the surface. Pretty eloquent though.. Decent rhythm and pace to it, despite a couple of more stretched lines, nearer the end of the first stanza.. nice though, and like I said, very eloquently written. I'll keep looking for more from you.. Btw, when are you gonna get a topic for that collab we spoke about? Lol.

pz.

[Baron Mynd]

Rofl, dude - I dont pick topics. I have one in mind, email me again so I can get your email addy. I think i deleted it by mistake.

camarac@3mail.com

Pz.