Something Happy

[Anemia]

A girl, 12 years old with all the world's burdens
Victim of rape, tragedy, hate and misfortune
Contortionist conforming to growth and prosper,
When 4 years from now she'll have her own daughter
She'll grow from the dirt, fight for light, stand tall
But one day or another, you know that she'll fall
All Mommy can do is watch, as a smile crosses her lips
She knows beyond hers, a better life can exist
"Life isn't bliss. But nothing will snap me...
I know that every new day, will bring something happy."

The end.
Links coming tommorrow.

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[CrazyCarl]

This was a nice little story. You kept with the idea, and didn't stray off which was good. It would have been better if it were longer. You could go into more detail and improve the quality of the verse. The flow was good, and so was the vocab.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168531

[menolin]

almost poetic, you need to space your vocab out a bit more imo,
you had a line with a few syllable words and then the next with a one syllable words,
flow was good,
point was made,
short and sweet

[warchild]

This was decent a short deep story.
The structure and flow was ok but i thought this would make a better poem than a rap cause its a bit to short.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=169972