Fractured Reflections - DD Collaboration

[Jai-Cee]

DD Collaboration – Fractured Reflections

aka DuBois – Intro
As viewed from the haze of one’s conception,
the brightest light is of his perception.
It forms an image against the lapping waves,
baring the same justice as a stretched mirror.
The visage appears, a shimmering glint,
upon the crests in our seas of discontent.
We watch the form converge, intensely,
hoping to see ourselves clearly in shaky water.
The moment the image seems concrete,
daylight fractures the reflection, and it dissipates;
as when a stone skips along a pond’s surface.

Jai-Cee…
I’m seated gazing intently at my splintered entity…
Still vaguely detecting my own personas energy…
My empty thoughts caused by a vivid remorse…
Caused trepidation as my reflection transforms…
Echoes of reform, as unborn eyes initially see…
Absorbed by the porous guise that is now me…
Perceiving that my belief in myself is leaving…
Not grieving as bogus perception is retreating…
Now seeing me as a being shrouded in vilify…
Unspoken internals stare at my unknown enemy…
Conversing in person unearthing my inner being…
Feeling the instant that made a recluse have meaning…
Visions broken opened mental portals to image…
Pillaged from encrypted sights I’ve now envisaged…

Foreshadow…
I view my perception leaking through cracked glass
Knowing the wrongs of my life and my now shattered past
The bleak reflection of myself looking of disgust seeps to the surface
For reasons unknown, judgment has been passed and I’m nervous
Why am I scared of myself, I’m an obvious imperfection
The shattered glass of my past must mark a new direction
I have seen this without it even happening, that defies human laws
It seems my mind is a metamorphosis, and the mirror has paused

[Jai-Cee]

Links

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167400
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167307

[Jai-Cee]

Some feed at least?

[Sublime D]

it'll come...

[noncentz]

i love alot of the flow and vocab even switching abtract to beat riding talent per each of the verse.graphic very intense like your speaking in your last words the meaning impacts that hard i get pissed when i see work like this get slept obn so uppin this shit

[Jai-Cee]

Thanks for feed word~perfect...

I hate it when this gets slept on too...

[IwIlLmErKyOu]

this piece had alot of good flow and rhymes. i really liked it and i was really feeling it. the structure was pretty good..keep elevatin peace

[Jai-Cee]

uppin

[Scarcasm]

at least a few people read it

[Laureate]

Dubois- A solid verse from you here...I think this is the first piece
from you that Ive read sadly...you had a unique style...kind go
in and out of rhyming, it works pretty well for you...good imagry...
and I like the "skips along a pond’s surface" line...that was nice

Jae- Good verse from you man...I think that your internal rhymes
made the read nice and even...flowed good when I read it....
emotion was well done....You came wit your usualy good vocab..
.good verse here

Fore- good emotion in your verse...maybe would liked to seen a bit
longer drop from you...some lines kinda carried on...nothing too
major though...I liked your wordchoice in this piece

Overall a good collab...keep up the good work fellas

please peep...all 3 of you
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168020

[sNoopfox]

This piece was pretty solid. All 3 writers had a different style which complimented each other making it a good overall piece.

DuBois: Solid imagry was there by the use of quality descriptive words. With your piece being the introduction it set the scene very well and carries the imagry through the rest of the poem. It was deep and quite symbolic.

Jai-Cee: I enjoyed the flow and the play on words used, this differed from Dubois in the way that it was told like an event rather than a description. The rhyme scheme was decent alongside it's structure. Quite a few words you used I wasn't sure what they meant but overall was a good piece.

Forshadow: This was very smooth. The style was similar to jai-cee and dubois mixed together with extra. It worked really well for me. It also held more of a conclusion, like a final finishing thought. It had decent flow, and imagry, with slightly more basic vocab than the other two, i feel this helped me to understand and relate to the message alot easier.

All in all, was a good drop and collaboration with 3 different styles working off each other.

sNoopfox

[sick thoughtz]

i liked this it was very well put together much love