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Thread: The Couch.

  1. #1

    Join Date
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    The Couch.

    The Coach

    At one with my thoughts at night, sitting unexposed
    re-gathering energy,
    for one movement when the doors no longer closed
    at once im posed, filled with anxiety of many things
    feeling tense from experiences of what a day brings
    suddenly it happens, within moments' night is shattered
    noise is disturbed, as sunlight is slowly re-gathered
    it happens, the doors apart and were put to the test
    feeling stress, under conscience now ive gotta do best
    .
    .
    .
    Good walks in,
    talking to the boss ordering something to eat
    Not stood, now walking to a place of rest on my seat
    Nice with his feet, as they are placed away from my material
    He is gentle with pressure, I am treated as something imperial
    A happy bloke takes the day in his stroke with time
    One sublime character, a future partner in crime
    Reached his prime, but this figure can no longer stay
    Stands up gently a graceful and polite customer to start my day.

    .
    .
    .
    In walks bad,
    His face lit with guilt, ignoring the boss
    Orders fatty chips with sauce, sitting, placing his feet all across
    This really hurts, just for short spurts pressure is released
    Heavy with his feet, he lights a stick full of disease
    A beast of the devil, takes a toke and blows out death
    Unaware that now my furniture is striving for breath
    What’s next? After eating he eventually walks out
    A man with no consideration left a feeling of drought

    .
    .
    .
    Here comes ugly,
    Promoting a stench as if he’s straight out the trench
    Sits awkwardly upright as if I was simply a bench
    Feeling a wrench, keeps twitching from one side to another
    As if in reaction each time he spills sauce all over my cover
    Later on hell discover, he’s patterned his own shirt with fluid
    Partial to ugliness he won’t let his own day be ruined
    His voice is annoying, agonizing ugly and toying
    Ugly and bad have now officially destroyed a day good was enjoying.

    .
    .
    .
    So as the Boss
    Locks up, and brushes me down
    A busy day has seen my smile turn to a frown
    A day of experience and purely so many meanings
    Two people not feeling a couch and a couch with to many feelings.


    #1.
    #2.
    Last edited by nolonger; December 18th, 2004 at 06:52 PM

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  2. #2
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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    truley dope dude. do you always drop this dope? i htink the last one you droped was dope too. but anyways, check my shit out too.

    one

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Effect, this was fucking dope.

  4. #4

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    eh yo thanks alot....this took alota effort....

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  5. #5
    Newbie Kinetyk's Avatar
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    This was real Nice...Tha rhyme Scheme was Cool And so was tha Vocab..But What I really Enjoyed was Tha Concept, It was creative and it went hand in hand with crazy..Tha good, bad and Ugly, I liked this peice man, Keep reppin your shit Duke...
    P.S. This will really make me treat my Couch better..

  6. #6
    The Drama Club
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    yo man i loved readin this man its very good and shows u put some time into it keep it up man
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

  7. #7

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    thanks alot everyone...

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  8. #8
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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  9. #9
    tonguetwista
    Guest
    hey man this was a dope piece...i got noting else to say but

    dope

    peace

  10. #10
    G-Money
    Guest
    damn u do got enough dickriders?? n e ways it was ok-ay.....no vocab, unless u wanna take a pointer from a newb.....rhyme scheme okay, imagery okay, overall it was okay nothing dope about this.....not hatin on u cuz u was on me...jus being real wit this piece.....

  11. #11
    The Drama Club
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    sorry for freepostin but G-Money hatin is not appreciated mods please overlook this post but its true.You should show love man he got skill
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

  12. #12
    SoNiK
    Guest
    yeah for real... they aint dickriding but your ass is definitely cock blocking...

    it was a good read effect... some of the lines overstretched just a bit... like this one:
    In walks bad,
    His face lit with guilt, ignoring the boss
    Orders fatty chips with sauce, sitting, placing his feet all across
    That was pretty close to busting, even if I read it as I would spit it

    Content: 9.0
    Flow: 9.5
    Vocab: 9.0 (Not too complicated, which is good, because some people over do their shit and it sounds more like a fuckin docktrine than a verse)
    Overall: 9.5

    Really good piece man, really feelin' it

  13. #13
    redruM. Cinquix Incision's Avatar
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    aall i really have to say is that it was really nice im likin this alot i had good thoughts in my mind u painted pictures with words

    g'job truely...
    "ya i see you nigguhs mean muggin on poarches, unload that clip and watch em scatter like roaches"
    ima foo wit it! girl gimme dat pussy i kno wut to do wit it!

    I AINT NO BITCH!

  14. #14
    Banned SirusX's Avatar
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    Cool Peice, fluid as fuck.

    I didnt like multi colors. It distracts me too much.
    Im and ADD head.. though that excuse is more a crutch..

    Anyways.. good drop.

    Lines I liked:

    Feeling a wrench, keeps twitching from one side to another
    As if in reaction each time he spills sauce all over my cover
    Later on hell discover, he’s patterned his own shirt with fluid
    Partial to ugliness he won’t let his own day be ruined

    thx for feedback on my peice.

  15. #15

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    word dope replies......very posative part from fucka g-money bites a hole verse of pac and then critises this...lmfao...thanks everyone else yall.

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