Freestyle off (This is How We Do By Game feat. 50 cent)

[Jay Mel]

This is just a freestyle i made, can you please tell me about it in flow wise.

Thanks

They say im loco/but nigga's i got the game in da chokehold/But guess who's broke ho?/But lets go yo/ I tell him to do it like slow slow/But nigga's be like yo yo, and i dont care/Be playin notes like Sonny and Chere/Just wave ya hair like Ric and David Flair/Just like my guns i like em in a pair/but i switch it over to another beat like grindin/Nigga, look at my bling cuz its always shining/Cuz why its always blindin??/Look at it, like an escalade......./Look at the sun roof/With the extra shade/Nigga, look at my car/Its already paid.


Thats a quicky off the top of my head

tell me about the flow and such

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on ot this gets closed, thanks.

[Jay Mel]

I will, in a sec.

Damn, dont you really do your job?

Do you ever give feedback?

Come on tell me about tha flow

[UnrealDeal]

you get the idea of what your supposed to be doing. try using better vocabulary. change ur structure from paragraph form to line like:

i slap bitches from a distance like im strech arm strong
cover up in dirt thats where ur ass belongs

also i wouldn't use ne thing at the end of my lines like (::,/, or //)

and when u post an open mic leave your links to 2 positive feedbacks so u dont piss off the mods.

return the favor please!

can someone, anyone please vote for my battle with macdizzle and remeber to click whoever u vote for on the poll too heres the link:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=155878
thanks to all who place theire votes, weather it be on him or me

[Mistral]

My Job?! My job is to make sure everyone follows the rules. But i do leave feedback sometimes on pieces. So please do not tell me how to do things. Thank You.

And your flow...was ok. If you wouldnt have been such a ass maybe i would have went into more detail but ya know .

[UnrealDeal]

credz do mods vote on battles? if so could you please take a look at Macdizzile Vs me we posted our verses yesterday and got not 1 vote heres the link if you do vote on them
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=155878

thanks if you do if not its cool i understand

edit: o yeah and how do i get my sig to come up i pasted the link into the sig box

[Abstract Vision]

I guess the flow was aight... if i was you I'd listen to what UD said about the format cos paragraph aint hot... other than that keep on practicing... 'spect

do the same and check http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=155679

[Jay Mel]

My Job?! My job is to make sure everyone follows the rules. But i do leave feedback sometimes on pieces. So please do not tell me how to do things. Thank You.

And your flow...was ok. If you wouldnt have been such a ass maybe i would have went into more detail but ya know .

Well damn, go ahead and make more details........

I guess you were doing your job................can't blame you for doin that man.

Anymore thoughts on this quick style?

[UnrealDeal]

pied piper can you return the favor please? i left u feedback can u go vote for me and macdizziles battle?

vote for my battle with macdizzle and remeber to click whoever u vote for on the poll too heres the link:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=155878
thanks to all who place theire votes, weather it be on him or me

[Jay Mel]

i just did

[UnrealDeal]

thanks dude ima go check it out

[Mistral]

If you post back in here again without links im closing it.

[Figure]

The flow was alright, but your problems using all those /'s
paragraphs are messy and its hard to read properly. best to compose with lines
your vocabs ok, if you could use more advanced words, at least ones with more than one syllable the flow would sound better, but other than that,
it was cool. keep dropping man

if you can return the favour, drop some feed when you see my new Om man. much appreciated . pz