Circle Hopping

**Brethren** · November 16th, 2004, 03:28 PM

Trust. me. kid...
You must be beggin me
Ta end you...........

And venues....
Listen... I am willin ta
Take that risk

Step into my circular frame of thoughts
For fame nursin your brain... lost...
Hop on a name. I'm hurtin you.......
Crossed and recieved tubercular pain
Often these lames lurk for you...
Cuz you can't see outside of the box
Might as well be in ya coffin today...
Rhymin' and boxed... These little
Cub scouts chickens need to figure tyin the knot
Buyin the lottery ticket... tickin
Eyeing a spot in the game... listin
The highest but system applies
Cuz bitches just get up....
And seem to be itchin for quiet..........

Trust. me. kid...
You must be beggin me
Ta end you...........

And venues....
Listen... I am willin ta
Take that risk

Whitelightning & Speek EZ

**Brethren** · November 16th, 2004, 04:19 PM

uppin now

**Born To Kill** · November 16th, 2004, 04:40 PM

Wow...

I'm not exactly sure what to make of this...

It sure sounds dope...flows like street slang.

I think this is about battling...but, I dunno.

I just dropped an OM myself and maybe feel kinda drained.

The brain does, at least.

Cuz right now, this looks like vet vs. newbie or vet vs. someone not expected to win...

But kid's standing tall and giving his all.

Unlike others who have stood up and choked.

That's what I get outta it...and if I'm right...

Then this is the dopest, most creative approach I've seen to rhyming about battling.

Prolly ever.

Short, but stong and effective, with no so much emotion, but mission at hand.

Fuckin looks good to me.

Peace

**Brethren** · November 16th, 2004, 09:41 PM

yup... it is

So how come nobody is reading it or replying to it???

**Mistral** · November 17th, 2004, 02:08 AM

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

**Versifier** · November 17th, 2004, 04:24 AM

Nice choice of topic and pulled off well.
Dope piece.
8.6/10
Keep at it.
This is the best ive seen this sorta topic done in on long time, on any site.
Props

**Brethren** · November 17th, 2004, 07:16 AM

Credz... will do later today

**Brethren** · November 17th, 2004, 09:13 PM

Born To Kill

**Brethren** · November 18th, 2004, 10:35 PM

stop sleeping

**TERROR CONVICT** · November 18th, 2004, 10:43 PM

That Piece 2 Me Seems Very Scattered Cant Really Pin-point A Main Focus
I Understand That Your Probably Talking About Close Minded People (cant See Outside Of A Box) But I Believe It Could Of Been Constructed A Little More Organized. Aint Heard Of None Of Your Other Raps But This One I Say Is Decent.

**djb** · November 18th, 2004, 10:48 PM

this was okay. nice flow other then that i thought it was kinda generic. don't get me wrong it wasn't terrible or great just okay. i thought you had one line that was really streched. and the puches really seemed kinda dull to me other then the streched one. not bad keep writting.

please return the favor

my open mic: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=155287

**Brethren** · November 18th, 2004, 11:05 PM

^^^ The point isn't to make punches... who cares about stretched lines anyways... it's about how many syllables match... you need to learn that

**djb** · November 18th, 2004, 11:09 PM

either way the syllables don't match up^ on the cub scout line. i was just trying to be helpful. and i do know that. it just looks much nicer when the syllables match up and the text is even. especially when i can't hear you. when i am looking and reading it is much more pleasent when the text is even.