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Thread: Raindrops.

  1. #1

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    Raindrops.

    Raindrops.

    Tightly situated..a condense package begins to unravel
    lightly instigated by pressure..im released on my travels
    my journeys began..i have a freedom of choice for location
    knowing I have the Earths formation..to find my destination
    I grasp new sensations..inventing new elements of speed
    collisions with raindrops..praying ill be the one to succeed
    with a need..to fulfill my duty..touching earth with my existence
    as excitement builds up..now I visualize Earth from a distance
    I use persistence..as a throttle to engaged on my quest
    dodging more obsticals..before meeting my place of rest
    finally a nest..a spot on Earth I have the right to obtain
    these feelings are replaced as the wind changes again
    a sense of shame..against the wind no home supported
    and as this became a routine..i was tired of being aborted
    the pain haunted..i was a single drop in a whole class of rain
    a crystal clear line..continuing my trip down a window pain
    I cant complain..cause its not like ive ever experienced better
    Contracting from strain..now that im at one with the weather
    So on to whatever..and wherever this gust of wind takes me
    The pieces now fit..praying the pressure still doesn’t break me
    Feeling free..as the wind swoops me by surprise to the floor
    A sense of joy is upon me..I have that home feeling once more
    My sides are sore..but on the inside im rejoicing my mission
    And if I had the art of speech..id be voicing this ambition
    .
    .
    .
    I freeze in this position..now the sun is out..my home becomes more clear
    Lying unaware that im here to be condensated back into the atmosphere.



    #1
    #2
    Last edited by nolonger; October 3rd, 2004 at 01:26 PM

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  2. #2

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    wow.....lets begin.

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  3. #3
    MONDO THUG Mimesis.'s Avatar
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    Dope as hell yo..

    Good flow.. Good multis..

    I like the topic..

    Imagery is good..

    Just an overall dope peice..

    Props yo..

    I think someone nominate this into legends..

    Werd.

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  4. #4
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    strictly dope. great piece. great everything. not going to critueqe it, just going to say you topped drinking to stay sober, and that was a damn good piece. you should make legends. no joke stay up and keep droppin ill
    Follow at
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    Music --->>>>
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  5. #5

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    wow.................thanks alot yall....ive found a fan^............w00t

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  6. #6

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    Bounce.

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  7. #7
    Mister. Andrew..'s Avatar
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    Hot. Nice job. Good Multis. Concept was straight. Alot of imagery, which was very well done with the topic. Good Flow. This should be nominated for Open Mic Hall of Fame atleast. So If it isnt already nominated I will nominate it.

    -Wise
    Back.

  8. #8

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    dopeness @ all these legends/hall of fame nominations...thanks yall.

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  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    dope drop.. really liked it.. good imagery and nice multis.. flow was on point and never fell off... liked the topic, it was cool..

    you always seem to elevate everytime you drop. .

    so keep writing

    *waits for you to make legends*

  10. #10

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    thanks slik
    Last edited by nolonger; October 4th, 2004 at 04:08 PM

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  11. #11

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    Bounce.

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  12. #12
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    This was definately dope. Excellently written. Great imagery and vocab as well. The flow of it was also great. The topic has been done before, but you managed to write this in a way that it seemed super unique. Excellent work man, I'd say it's legendary.

  13. #13

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    damn thanks.....lol^ if it did get nominated that would be me 3rd noimination lol.....but i have to say i feel this is my best yet.

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  14. #14
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    'blah blah blah blah'........now that im at one with the weather
    So on to whatever..and wherever this gust of wind takes me

    ^^apart from the first half of the first line, i think this was the best bit of the verse, dunno, just it appealed to me..

    man, id say this is mos def the best peice ive seen you do, i was pretty impressed man... i aint ever seen this concpet done before so that was a good start, i thought this was nicely written from the perspective you chose, good descriptive quality to it... you could build up a mental picture of it, so good work on that... and it progressed well, to a solid ending point... like a journey and you come to the end... nice.... BUT the only thing stopping me from nominating this for legends is... the complexity of it, it have liked to see a bit more fluidity, well not fluidity, sorta more internal rhyming going on, so it rolls off the tongue, ALSO, there was like no flip in it or twist, you could sortas predict where the peice was going

    ... all in all tho... a good solid read, props to my man, keep it coming
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  15. #15
    Thisain'tevenmyfinalformB RXL's Avatar
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    i liked this piece a lot...good multiez and nice concept..

    I cant complain..cause its not like ive ever experienced better
    Contracting from strain..now that im at one with the weather
    So on to whatever..and wherever this gust of wind takes me
    The pieces now fit..praying the pressure still doesn’t break me


    ^ WOW

    loving that part

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