Drinking To Stay Sober.

[nolonger]

Drinking to Stay Sober.

Life’s devoured my agility, lack of filter ability
And rotated the focus, of my sober stability
Drinks killing me, I repeat the ritual over and over
Under the reality, drunks adopted my new sober
I know but, ive bypassed the simple art of thought
Friends have gone, now I’m to sober to be taught
I feel distraught, depression arises when I do without
But then I feel more distorted, during this drought
Live in doubt, with a conscience of disbelief
I can never visit sober agen, drinking for pain relief
Constant grief, unhappiness here keeps on sinking
Now I’m pissed when clean, and sober when drinking
Time to stop thinking, I gaze into a bottomless can
16 knowing ive ended my future, before its begun.


Probaly my best yet....enjoy.

1.
2.

[nolonger]

right lets get feed please.

[WingsOfAngels]

wow man this was amazing....i'd even go as far as saying legands!!!

ok first of all the flow....we'll theflow keeped constant, and never fell off man not once throughout the piece...you used some multies also to keep it flowing even more...which even more added to the niceness of the piece....structure was dope, prob couldnt get it better if you tried...this also helped it stay easy to read, and hit with a firm message!!

Ok your writers voice was the best part about this...made me even think of a problem a few of my mates are having at the present time...it came across strong and clear...which is not a thing that many pieces i've seen do...your content was dope and you really made me feel his pain....in this line alone! :_

I can never visit sober agen, drinking for pain relief

^^ i can also relate to that, as i've had my fair share of drinking problems in the past!!

Emotion was also very nice, and went very well with the message you have potrayed!!

keep it up man

9.8/10

pz

[nolonger]

thanks man...

[JAY DOT.]

i was feeling that, its deep and emotional, keep at it and live one day at a time, peace

[TonyBrown]

hot shyt right there, dont kno bout legend but i could say amazing, felt it da whole way thru man, deep shyt right there

[noncentz]

definetly expressive graphic well composed and great wordplay i must say this definetly get me to want to hear more

[nolonger]

word.....dopeness thank you fam.^

[Freeman]

Nice one, Judge.

I loved the end.

Might be good enough to get into Legends.

Its certainly bordering on it...

Peace.

[nolonger]

wow legendary would be sweet...thanks man

[Laureate]

Nice piece, vocab was well done...imagry wasn't there....you didn;t really need it for a piece like this, but it would have been a bonus to have....emotion was good, but seemed forced at times...overall a nice piece...would have like it to be longer tho

8/10

[nolonger]

thanks man.

[Endeva.]

well judge, i have got to say, nice job on this.... a so true perception of being an alchy... and nicely worded.... i liked this bar specially -

Now I’m pissed when clean, and sober when drinking

^^dope.... maybe the verse could have done with a bit more length, thats all id say, other than that,, niceness

[nolonger]

w00t.....dm bitches.

[Endeva.]

its spelt 'Diamond' not 'Dimond'.... lol