One With...featuring Gunman tha Great

[spokenoh]

One With

Pinacle-black
Gunman-blue


We both took different approaches to the topic...different relations to different situations...


Involved creatively with the spiritual, cynical one as metaphysical
This lyrical makes you substract ridicule figurative to literal
While subliminal intricated by seclusion in a pure white cubicle
As the picture's requirement is a delusion for what I find suitable
I...used to meditate as I would penetrate a thought, then levitate
Cause being a friend of the fate dictates choices and pre-meditates
The state of equiliberium which was a gate as my own key locked it
As my obselete profit used for 20 thousand pens for greed's pockets
As an empty socket, perpetual to mock it
......... as 3 skeletons were in my closet
The deposited bodies of birth & death decomposed, life collected cob-webs
Some gobbed spit was the capacity of a grave, godless goblet
As this modest caused shit to start relaxing me like it was promised
To be honest,clients from middle-earth who arent hobbits who raided it
So living eternal is a patriot with logic comparable to prophets....
The orientated fibs...
And abstract related gives appeal as fate's lyrics manifest as gory-satanic lips


Gunman
If you were shown the ups and downs of your journey called Life and told with one dropped foot you couldn't retreat would you walk confidently or turn away, lose the power to speak and accept Defeat?
The other day temporarily I saw my cousin die for 5 years in a prison cell is where he'll spirit will reside with only damp concrete from escaped tears as a symbol he's alive everytime I bow my head and close my eyes I pray to whoever listens to minimize his cries
Now, you tell me where the Lord is in that situation I've lost my patience waiting for him to win his battle with Satan and come back to help the torn souls of the lost Nation
In church, they say the storm won't outlast the bright day, 20 years of rain without an ounce of pain dripping away I don't know how long I can participate in this game when it hurts so much to play
In Revelations 10 it says the lord will come and the pain will no longer exist I've lived 10 years twice only to see and feel the same shit either the pain is permanent or the Lord can't help, I don't know which but something has to change broken promises must be fixed because my belief is starting to slip
And these preachers molesting kids while they praying I'm supposed to listen to them tell me whats Right given money away like I'm paying for eternal life is the Bible a code of what we should do or just another fable made up to keep us from trying to fight?


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140280
Perception-Asclepeion
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...49#post1599949
LM-Unbreakable

[Ron B. Vicious]

awwww it is slept on gotta love it

[Brother Blue Collar]

dope shit, Pinnacle usual dope ass science, never seen gunman drop b4 so on to his, full of emotion there, i felt it i know i can relate, internals were cool and dope, making to collabo well can you guess the word?????? Dope Bitches

"Involved creatively with the spiritual, cynical one as metaphysical
This lyrical makes you substract ridicule figurative to literal"

dopest opener i've seen from ya

[***DEST***]

mc pinnacle your verse ript shit up man this was dope . this was nice and fuking tech man i like it. i do admit . a few words i have no clue for the meaning .. so either your a smart fuck....or that dictionary is a smart fuck.. but either way this was still tight.

ok ummm gunman the great. i didnt get your flow or were your rhymes were. i got what you were on about tho and your topic was dope...

but this wasnt a verse ..this was somthing out of a text book..shit seemed like a story. not a rhyme...........

just my opinion ...no hate but take it how you want

[Ron B. Vicious]

mc pinnacle your verse ript shit up man this was dope . this was nice and fuking tech man i like it. i do admit . a few words i have no clue for the meaning .. so either your a smart fuck....or that dictionary is a smart fuck.. but either way this was still tight.

ok ummm gunman the great. i didnt get your flow or were your rhymes were. i got what you were on about tho and your topic was dope...

but this wasnt a verse ..this was somthing out of a text book..shit seemed like a story. not a rhyme...........

just my opinion ...no hate but take it how you want

ummm defeat and retreat rhyme pretty easily in my opinion i could be wrong though. but no i'm not

[spokenoh]

Thanks for the replies. Gunman's actually had a wicked flow to it and I personally like his structure. Uppin this.

[Nephil]

Pinacle - flow was sick - felt like you just threw words together though - and yes I know that you can make them mean something - but it seems to me that you were thinking of words and then finding ways to make them fit - saw a couple of places were words were used incorrectly - thought the dopest section was from the part about "greed's pockets" to "life's cob webs" - pretty good work overall - just make it a little more cohesive in the future - peace

Gunman - emotion and imagery were dope - rhymes were adequate - flow was on point - it might've been nice if you had organized this a little differently so that the rhymes were picked up easier but I guess you decided it was more important to get the thoughts presented together - started out real dope in your first four lines or so, then you kinda went off on the God tangent which was still pretty good but didn't have the dope concepts really like you started with - pretty nice work from you as well - good collabo - peace

hit this:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140469

[spokenoh]

I knew it was SMZ just the way you set up your feedback. Very nice reply, but I knew what I meant with all my vocab.

Up. It would be nice if this got into OM of the Month.

[noncentz]

from opener to ender both of u kept me strapped to subject and rhyme scheme.much talent also not a very astereo typical sound when i spit it to myself i liek that alot.this is easily a blazing peace.

[spokenoh]

^ I thought you died...houdini.

[spokenoh]

Erg. Up, will return favour.

[Neruda II]

Pinacle: You had a really creative and strong rhyme scheme. It really stood out to me every line rhymed perfectly. I don't see any problem at all in the structure. It was different and it flowed well. Hmmm, I found myself disapointed in your words though, I'm sure they had meaning behind them but as many times as I read your piece, I still couldn't find it. It was too vague, I lost the message. You're vocabulary was strong, definetely not elementary but damn, I feel bad that I can't find the message in your words. Well it's an Open mic so I guess flow is something that is more important. Structuraly, it was great but I found myself lost in your words. Sorry, that's all I can say...

Gunman:You had a structure that just seemed to run on but it worked well. For newer members, it might be harder to read but I found myself enjoying the different structure. The story(sort of story) was well written. You had a good ammount of emotion in your words and your message was strong. I don't really know how to judge open mics so you have to excuse me if I get too shallow. Well I think in this time and days that most people can relate to the situation of prison and a sort of disapointment in what the world has become. I really felt the message. Everything was strong in your verse.

Good job to both of you. Both of you took different routes in the topic but it came off nice. Keep droppin'. Peace.

[Chris Black]

Pin, your verse was cool. Flow was cool, but the rhymes in certain parts seemed forced. Like you may have sacrificed a concrete story for abstracts and an ill rhymescheme. It was still a pretty decent verse though.

Gunman, dope ass verse. So many quotable lines in it. The wording was great, and the flow was really smooth. I know you'll get kids complaining about "Streatching", but fuck that. That flow was perfect. The couple stories withing the verse were ill. The part about you cousin, and the closer were ill. The whole shit was nice.

Overall, good drop, fellas. Keep writing.

My Open Mic:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=139691&page=1

-W1

[Ron B. Vicious]

^^^thanks man that means a lot lets uppidy up

['PercepTion']

MC Pinnicle:
Your flow was pretty much flawless, you had nice
internal & syllable rhyming which kept it smooth &
fluent throughout, I usually associate a smooth flow
with consistent bar length but this ripped that theory
into shreds. Dope vocab, was another shining aspect
to this piece, it was well thought out, wasn't just
threw in there to make it look complex. Nice imagry
, liked the message behind this, you got in touch
with the spiritual side of things, much to my liking.

Gunman The great
where you been man? anyways, you had a different
sort of flow going on & it was just as good, I'll admit
it was a little hard to follow at first but you executed
it cleanly, nice internal rhyming helped keeped it on
point. Your vocab was a little weaker to Pinnicle's but
your message was just as strong & heartfelt, you had a
more religious feel to it which i found dope, again, much
to my liking..lol.

Overall this was was off-the-chain, well deserved.....
4.6/5.