Cameronj86 vs. Rebel

[Essen]

Ok, same rules as in the bitchslapped thread
10lines, post before 10pm eastern


Consider this my check in, I'll drop whenever I have time. Good luck

[Icarus]

Mkay..... this is my check in too. Good luck

[Essen]

Ok, I'll post my verse as soon as you check in....

[Essen]

Lol my fault, it didn't show on my computer you checked in. Anyway:


Cam's feelin froggy to loose, I told him to leap, he jumped
Cause like messed up pictures..... ur skills will never develop!
He's aiming for the top, but the ladder's too hard to climb
I'm not a stockbroker, but all ur doin is buying my time
Rebel's gonna bring ya down, fuqin wit him was a mistake
You think inside the box, and it even told you to get ur lines in shape!
But it's weird the way u and wackness stick together like glue
I'll put portraits of me on ya stairs to show I'm bein one step a-head of u!
So it's a race to victory, and Rebel's gonna easily take first
I tried lookin for punches in ur lines, but I only got a kick out of ur verse

[Icarus]

Peeped the name. You a rebel. You wanna be really down?
Then lets see ya get the dirt off ya shoulder....
...buried six feet underground
Never heard of this rookie. I already know how ta handle ya
So Imma show you the ropes...
...right before I strangle ya
DaIllestRebel? Quit braggin. It's my style that ya rapping
You couldnt "jump on" my dick more if I renamed it "the bandwagon"
U reached the glass ceiling. U stayin under "I" like a magnifiying glass
Cept, C don't need to focus...
...to fuckin burn ya ass
A cardboard cut-out, I'll rip ya aorta n ventricles apart kid
Then I know my punch connected...
...cuz home is where the heart is

[VaryAble]

Ok battle...

Cam.. feelin ya verse but not more then rebel's... flow was good but punches couldv been alot harder
nice structure though

Rebel... decent flow.. work on ur multis......... couldve worked on structure to make it e zier to feel... try some personals...
v/cam
no hate

peace

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Feeble Minded

[DaTrusHurtz]

DaIll - Not a bad verse at all. You had some nice ideas and ok punches, but I felt you could have worded them better as at times your verse didn't flow perfectly so work on that. Also your punches hit, but try using more complex metas. You did good not using the usual played stuff, but you could still elevate.

Cam - Best verse I've seen from you, well done. I liked the opener. I don't know if the dirt off your shoulders thing was a reference to the song, but either way it was good. The bandwagon thing was really funny, closer was cool, but didn't hit very hard. You easily take this though.

Vote - Cam

Please return the favor

[eight]

cam, you had several good lines. very clever, with good flow and good structure. coulda been more complex but whatever.

daill, you had good ideas, but you gotta lock down your flow. it would have been a lot closer battle if youre verse was tighter.

if i could vote, i'd vote cam... but i can't so theres my feedback.

[Essen]

Varyable, you wrote "feelin ya verse, but not more than rebel's" and you voted for him. I don't mean to sway or anything, I just don't understand that...can someone clarify that....


Anyway, good battle cam. Uppin.........(1)

[Essen]

Uppppppppin (2), leave links and I'll hit them up....

[Prohibited]

DaIll-
Cam's feelin froggy to loose, I told him to leap, he jumped
Cause like messed up pictures..... ur skills will never develop!
Decent opener..
He's aiming for the top, but the ladder's too hard to climb
I'm not a stockbroker, but all ur doin is buying my time
Didn't hit.. but was clever
Rebel's gonna bring ya down, fuqin wit him was a mistake
You think inside the box, and it even told you to get ur lines in shape!
lame........
But it's weird the way u and wackness stick together like glue
I'll put portraits of me on ya stairs to show I'm bein one step a-head of u!
just killed your flow right here.
So it's a race to victory, and Rebel's gonna easily take first
I tried lookin for punches in ur lines, but I only got a kick out of ur verse
weak closer

Cam-
Peeped the name. You a rebel. You wanna be really down?
Then lets see ya get the dirt off ya shoulder....
...buried six feet underground
uhh.. text threats are weak.
Never heard of this rookie. I already know how ta handle ya
So Imma show you the ropes...
...right before I strangle ya
wasn't feeling you here
DaIllestRebel? Quit braggin. It's my style that ya rapping
You couldnt "jump on" my dick more if I renamed it "the bandwagon"
didn't rhyme but was sort of clever I guess
U reached the glass ceiling. U stayin under "I" like a magnifiying glass
Cept, C don't need to focus...
...to fuckin burn ya ass
didn't flow but it hit...
A cardboard cut-out, I'll rip ya aorta n ventricles apart kid
Then I know my punch connected...
...cuz home is where the heart is
LAME closer.. NO.


I wasn't feeling either one but DaIll came harder..

V/DaIllest

[Prohibited]

Plz return the favor and hit up the battles in my sig...

[1_wit_da_MIC]

DaIllistReBel
Cam's feelin froggy to loose, I told him to leap, he jumped
Cause like messed up pictures..... ur skills will never develop!
do jumped and developed rhyme? Punch didn't hit hard anyway

He's aiming for the top, but the ladder's too hard to climb
I'm not a stockbroker, but all ur doin is buying my time
tht first attempt was weak, and the second one lame

Rebel's gonna bring ya down, fuqin wit him was a mistake
You think inside the box, and it even told you to get ur lines in shape!
what? Plus rhymin in 3rd person doesn't work anymore.

But it's weird the way u and wackness stick together like glue
I'll put portraits of me on ya stairs to show I'm bein one step a-head of u!
the stairs line was pretty witty, but the glue line is played as hell

So it's a race to victory, and Rebel's gonna easily take first
I tried lookin for punches in ur lines, but I only got a kick out of ur verse
nothin special...which just about sums up your whole verse

Cameronj86

Peeped the name. You a rebel. You wanna be really down?
Then lets see ya get the dirt off ya shoulder....
...buried six feet underground
nice opener, clever

Never heard of this rookie. I already know how ta handle ya
So Imma show you the ropes...
...right before I strangle ya
personal was there and it hit

DaIllestRebel? Quit braggin. It's my style that ya rapping
You couldnt "jump on" my dick more if I renamed it "the bandwagon"
not feelin this line

U reached the glass ceiling. U stayin under "I" like a magnifiying glass
Cept, C don't need to focus...
...to fuckin burn ya ass
nah, didn't hit hard imo

A cardboard cut-out, I'll rip ya aorta n ventricles apart kid
Then I know my punch connected...
...cuz home is where the heart istried to get to creative..but a nice punch nonetheless

vote-Cameronj, I just felt his verse more. I liked some of his creative punches and rebel, most of your verse didn't even rhyme. Both of you need a lesson in vocab and multi's but Cam takes this one, he put more thought into it and had better punches.

Now return the favor and hit up the battles in my sigs.

[Essen]

^^Again, don't mean to sway, but if you look at any good verse made by vets, you'll see that sometimes, the last words in a bar don't rhyme perfecally, but w/e, thanks for voting and I'll hit both of your battles up.


Uppin...........(3)

[Antonio Banderas]

Cam's feelin froggy to loose, I told him to leap, he jumped
Cause like messed up pictures..... ur skills will never develop!
Nice concept but doesnt ryhme
He's aiming for the top, but the ladder's too hard to climb
I'm not a stockbroker, but all ur doin is buying my time
good wordplay
Rebel's gonna bring ya down, fuqin wit him was a mistake
You think inside the box, and it even told you to get ur lines in shape!
DAM...SOLID ASS BAR
But it's weird the way u and wackness stick together like glue
I'll put portraits of me on ya stairs to show I'm bein one step a-head of u!
good verse
So it's a race to victory, and Rebel's gonna easily take first
I tried lookin for punches in ur lines, but I only got a kick out of ur verse
solid wordplay


Peeped the name. You a rebel. You wanna be really down?
Then lets see ya get the dirt off ya shoulder....
...buried six feet underground
nice opener
Never heard of this rookie. I already know how ta handle ya
So Imma show you the ropes...
...right before I strangle ya
Solid wordplay
DaIllestRebel? Quit braggin. It's my style that ya rapping
You couldnt "jump on" my dick more if I renamed it "the bandwagon"
no....
U reached the glass ceiling. U stayin under "I" like a magnifiying glass
Cept, C don't need to focus...
...to fuckin burn ya ass
descent
A cardboard cut-out, I'll rip ya aorta n ventricles apart kid
Then I know my punch connected...
...cuz home is where the heart is
interesting wordplay
================================================
Everything seemed to be tied in this battle with the FLOW, STRUCTURE and creativity. However, wordplay became the deciding factor in this battle & this category belonged to DaIllistReBel. DaIllistReBel had consistent wordplay throughout the whole verse. PUNCHES were tied because the battle mainly consisted of fillers.

I vote DaIllistReBel in this battle