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Thread: Detonation Duration

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Detonation Duration

    The Build Up Of The Bomb:

    Day by day I become more of a ticking time bomb.
    Where as the chain between me and society broke the bond.
    A chain reaction that can devistate an entire nation.
    Sendin all who those care less into a state of fustration.
    Hatin all of you who looked down on me in contemptment.
    Leaving me no choice but to retaliate into withdrawlment.
    Dammit, I tried to avoid verbal assult during detention.
    All I ended up gettin was a black eye and some confusion.
    Tryin to bare the pain of racism and criticism all in class.
    Buyin more time hopein I don't get 20 guys after my ass.
    So they can spit on me abuse me both mentally and psychically.
    Then makin me out to be crazy commin home sayin the beat me.
    Ain't nobody told my side when I told the truth as with they lied.
    My brains fried wondering why I always confided my pride.


    The Bomb Has exploded:

    I couldn't take it anymore after I got slammed against the door.
    10 times more than yesterday, Now I'm ready to add up my score.
    I entered into school like any other school day lettin kids get in my way.
    Put my books in my locker, turned past the corner wonderin why I stay.
    When into my classroom to see my teacher was 3 minutes late.
    Halfway during class, I pulled out a .44 and brought out all the hate.
    Started a shoot out, out of nowhere, everyone started goin crazy.
    Even the bullies were acting like crybabies begging me for mercy.
    I aimed the gun at him lettin the bullet do its work on the corpse.
    Shot him 10 more times before I saw security running past the doors.
    Armed with revolvers ready to kill me, at that time I wasn't crazy.
    I wasn't an emotionally drained teen, or goin through puberty.
    I was a bomb set for detonation ready to create a mass explosion.
    When the damage was done, I lost my gun, went to a state prison.
    Labled pshycotic, but they never listend to me, thinkin i was crazy.
    They didn't think I was in the process of duration detonation.........

  2. #2
    Newbie PHILOSOPHER's Avatar
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    That was hot and consistent with the vocabulary
    "Nymphomatics equals no Prophylactic"
    "I pull my buddy out like a semi-automatic"

    "I kick rhymes without a foot"
    "Its only my words that got you shook"

    "Her sexiness got me rising like sunrise"
    "Falling like sunset thats when it seems my buddy dies"

    "She makes me coffee with much sweetness from Cuba"
    "I sit back like Fidel and smoke the Cheeba"

  3. #3

  4. #4
    I'm Bakk!
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    Nice drop good vocab keep it up!!!!!!

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=137849
    vote on my battles please!!!!!

  5. #5
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    uppin............................................. .....................

  6. #6
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    uppin............................................. ..........................

  7. #7
    Banned L.I.'s Avatar
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    Good drop...flow was decent...good imagery.....nice topic....vocab was good...sum rhymes were off....but for the most part it worked....good drop....i give it a 7/10

  8. #8
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    Thx L.I.

    uppin............................................. .............come on.......

  9. #9
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    uppin........................

  10. #10
    Conscious The Under Study's Avatar
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    yea i was feelin that shit man.....good vocabulary couldve used more multis though but still good choice of words and it was nice and complex.

    O YEA WHAT GAY ASS MAFUCKA STOLE MA NAME ^^^^^

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  11. #11
    K cypha
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    good 1. nice flow, and good vocab... but a little too psychotic. keep it up (but dont kill no1) lol

  12. #12
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    Quote Originally Posted by FUBAR
    My brains fried wondering why I always confided my pride.[/COLOR]
    ^^nice line....

    ...as a OM i thougth it was quite good... one thing i would say is, the topic wasnt too defined, not that it took away from it, cos it still had a good element of it there.... the scheme was a little simple in places, but managed to flow good.. and a couple of the rhymes seemed a bit forced like... 'detention, confusion'.... dont go... but on a whole it was pretty well written...
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  13. #13
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    oh...ok....

    your right, I kind of forced those two words into working...oops.
    I'll try not to do that next time.
    Anyway, thx for repling!

  14. #14
    I'm Bakk!
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    ayo can you return the favor and vote on my battles????
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=137849

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