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Thread: Tragedy or Destiny?

  1. #1

    Tragedy or Destiny?

    Knowledge is contagious...



    Shriveled microbes and tadpole embryo's silently disintergrate
    Environmental factors violently vacillate and fluctuate
    As a splendid race of advanced primates obliterates and asphyxiates atmospheric states
    This race of super apes, mates, rapes, and exponentially inflates
    Delicate balances incinerate, ancient intelligence degenerates, populations deteriorate
    At excelled astronomic rates, Mother Earth shifts internal plates
    Earthquakes shake western states, a dying sea elevates and regurgitates
    Aquatic ancestors upon dwindling shores & riverbanks, from sea nymphs to sea snakes
    ~ The greenest orb begins to die ~
    Lizards fall from solar heated rocks, flocks fall from contaminated skies
    From hapless worms to mighty pachyderms, animals are left paralyzed
    Mindless mortal drones and timeless clones are anesthetized
    Children stumble aimlessly, incompetent communities are tranquilized
    Shredded stratospheres cause the golden spheres energy to amplify and intesify
    Fair skinned descendents are scorched by ultra violent astral beams
    Lava streams, feel volcanic steam as the son of mans sickle gleams
    Fickle dreams are shattered, as prehistoric matter combusts at it's brittle seams
    Suns and moons eclipsed, the ocean splits
    Shore dwelling organisms slip into oil rich skinny dips
    Emptied clips fall to the soil as advanced continents quibble over nuclear armaments
    Intelligence sifts through these endless microchips
    Visual stimuli overloads send children into epileptic fits
    Strangleholds and tightened grips cause the innocents blood to drip
    Missiles rip, pungent bio-chemicals peel the redness from your lips
    Iraqi militants conceal apocalyptic weaponry
    American war mongers see these desert inhabitants as the enemy
    As they flaunt tools of death readily
    Cessation of human entities...Tragedy or Destiny?

    Class is Dismissed. . .

  2. #2

  3. #3
    ummm...
    vocabulary.

  4. #4
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    Deep shit, the thing about this is the vocabulary is amazingly well versed and not a bit of it sounds forced while maintaining the fact that it all makes sense and is not soo great that it becomes difficult to grasp the meaning. The verse reminds me of an ancient epic, traveling as far as the earth's beginning until the present in only a few lines, great writing skill and the "Class is dismissed" part at the end left me saying wow that really capped the performance and gave great imagery, i envisioned you really spitting it to a hypothetical class, great ending, and also it was impactful posing the question Tragedy Or Destiny, if you could respond to my drop i would appreciate it, 1luv.
    Last edited by Prince Escobar; June 27th, 2004 at 05:50 PM
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  5. #5
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    We can agree to disagree, NFamous...

    Cuz I DID think alot of that vocab seemed forced.
    And it really made the flow suck in alot of places.
    Here and there you pulled it off...
    And when ya did, the complexity of the flow was amazing.

    But other shit got hung up like this...

    Earthquakes shake western states, a dying sea elevates and regurgitates
    Aquatic ancestors upon dwindling shores & riverbanks, from sea nymphs to sea snakes


    Here's how I'd shorten that and better it (in my opinion only)...

    Earthquakes shake western states, a dying sea elevates...
    Aquatic ancestors on dwindling shores, from sea nymphs to sea snakes


    S'all...

    Just removing a few words, I think helped flow.

    But, getting away from that...

    This was quite an amazing piece about our planet.
    Great message, strong overall vocab.
    I seriously think I'd nominate this for Legends if the flow wasn't so fucked for me at times.

    Great work, mang!

    Peace

  6. #6
    Shi
    Guest
    very nice...vocab was killa...another lesson learned..ii didnt read the same problems in flow though..i read it quite clearly and saw no issues with how every word strung together...respect...-shi-

  7. #7
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    Jesus man... You're like a walking dictionary. That had insane vocab.

  8. #8
    .Blunt Speech.
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    Shit was nice my brotha ..


    Vote - LEGENDS!

  9. #9

  10. #10

    Re: Tragedy or Destiny?

    Orange Soda``

  11. #11
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    Re: Tragedy or Destiny?

    DAMNN!! a very dope piece. vocab was incredible. but most of all, you stayed on track, which shocked me. i mean, a couple parts it flew off, but no big deal. overall- this was dope. i plan on reading more shit from you ASAP. once again, dope piece. -one-

  12. #12

    Re: Tragedy or Destiny?

    SuperSuper`

  13. #13
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    Angry Re: Tragedy or Destiny?

    I just regestered in to the forums, ready to drop some knowledge...and low and behold, I happen to find a piece that I WROTE!!! Now I don't want my first post to be a negative one, so I guess that I'll just take the fact that one of my pieces has already made it to the board as a wierd kind of compliment. Plus it was nice to read it again, considering I haven't actually read it since I wrote it for my Government Science class in 1997.

    Congratulations whatever your name is..you've officially been outed. Biter.

  14. #14
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    Re: Tragedy or Destiny?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bastard Puppy
    I just regestered in to the forums, ready to drop some knowledge...and low and behold, I happen to find a piece that I WROTE!!! Now I don't want my first post to be a negative one, so I guess that I'll just take the fact that one of my pieces has already made it to the board as a wierd kind of compliment. Plus it was nice to read it again, considering I haven't actually read it since I wrote it for my Government Science class in 1997.

    Congratulations whatever your name is..you've officially been outed. Biter.

    wow...at a guy being called a biter after like 3 years..DAMN.

  15. #15

    Re: Tragedy or Destiny?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bastard Puppy
    I just regestered in to the forums, ready to drop some knowledge...and low and behold, I happen to find a piece that I WROTE!!! Now I don't want my first post to be a negative one, so I guess that I'll just take the fact that one of my pieces has already made it to the board as a wierd kind of compliment. Plus it was nice to read it again, considering I haven't actually read it since I wrote it for my Government Science class in 1997.

    Congratulations whatever your name is..you've officially been outed. Biter.

    Of course`
    Cause I was sitting right next to you in class``
    Damn..I've been busted``

    FYI` It's called Political Science , Not Government Science.

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