u first i setted it up
.ILLITICAL.
beasttez2
u first i setted it up
checkin in................................................ ........
checking in huh what u mean checkin in................................................ ........ spit sumtin
checkin in................................................ ........
check it.....
"beasttez" Man your a crackhead and so go take a test by pissing in a cup.....
You new becuz you said.....Originally Posted by beasttez2
This guys a newb and Im a pro so stay in ya kindergarden level.........
Bitch my flows will spit acid in ya eyes like if ya was (Dare Devil).........
"Beasttez" what ever your name is... you should know im the boss...........
He so gey instead of catching footballs he catch dicks like (Randy Moss)
Yo Watch out nigga becuz im a verus and ya computer about to get hacked..
This Niggas a phycho he get shitted on than his XL's get stacked.........
Hes a Poke'mon person staying at home dressed like a freak.............
But bitch this is my 10th line so Stay on ya losing streak................
Here is the rules that you forgot
10 lines
no d/r
no crew
no hatin b4 or after
spit within 30 mins
checkit ill u know u caint fuk wit the beast/
i was on the FRONTLINE u SLAPPIN ya BITCH in the street/
when u pee u still gotta wipe u piss on ya balls/
bullets open up ya chest like a carton of hauls/
and i dont have to worry bout a loss/
allin ya gurl mouth like after dinner dental floss/
and i could get u merked out no matter the cost/
catch 84 to ya back like randy moss/
leave blood on ya ribs like sauce/
this line ten now tell me who’s really getting a loss/
too much rhyming off of one word...Work on that better..Uppin2
ok....im going to break it down
illitical- ok verse...the quote was filler..it wasnt a punch...work on harder hitting punches..also personals help the verse also...flow was good...shorten your lines a bit...and strcture was ok....elevate and keep gettin better...read vets verses to see how to use complex stuff
beast- verse was wack...you fed...which is gay..plus the punches didnt hit and there were no personals...work on stuff...flow was off and structure was stretched...elevate and get better...read tutorials for help on punches
v.illitical
Okay...lol...first off, this was a fuckin funny battle!
beasttez2
checkit ill u know u caint fuk wit the beast/
i was on the FRONTLINE u SLAPPIN ya BITCH in the street/
lmao, this was just funny, not really a punch, seemed like you forced it.
when u pee u still gotta wipe u piss on ya balls/
bullets open up ya chest like a carton of hauls/
rofl, damn stop it please! This was sort of wack...
and i dont have to worry bout a loss/
allin ya gurl mouth like after dinner dental floss/
and i could get u merked out no matter the cost/
catch 84 to ya back like randy moss/
leave blood on ya ribs like sauce/
this line ten now tell me who’s really getting a loss/
Very nice diss/punch, but could have been better...
Over all: Good flow, rhyme, that's all, Try and add some multies into your drop.
5/10 okay drop
ILLITICAL.
check it.....
"beasttez" Man your a crackhead and so go take a test by pissing in a cup.....
Okay, this was wack, but decent for a punch...
You new becuz you said
Quote:
Originally Posted by beasttez2
u first i setted it up .....
Okay personal....
This guys a newb and Im a pro so stay in ya kindergarden level.........
Bitch my flows will spit acid in ya eyes like if ya was (Dare Devil).........
Nice reference, good punch.
"Beasttez" what ever your name is... you should know im the boss...........
He so gey instead of catching footballs he catch dicks like (Randy Moss)
lol, good punch.
Yo Watch out nigga becuz im a verus and ya computer about to get hacked..
This Niggas a phycho he get shitted on than his XL's get stacked.........
hmmm......no real punch there....
Hes a Poke'mon person staying at home dressed like a freak.............
But bitch this is my 10th line so Stay on ya losing streak................
decent punch.
Over all:Your punches came more effective than beasttez2.
You at least tried to put in a few personals and references, too.
You got my vote.
7/10 good drop
Vote .ILLITICAL.
Thanks......Keep u the voting.....uppin#3
Opener: Ill
Punches:Ill
Personals:Ill
Wordplay:Tie
Flow:Ill
Structure:Ill
Closer:Ill
Overall:Ill
Comments: Sorry beast but yours did not appeal to me really.I dont know maybe its just me...ILL u had some okay stuff but your wordplay is catching the wrong since...Randy moss doesnt catch dicks he catches footballs and I know thats what u tried to say but it just kinda offbalanced if ya feel me..GL both of u ILL takes it tho
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Axiom
Please return tha favor on me vs Action ty-........
uppin#4
uppin#5
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