To War For You

[MadMan]

I'm off to war;

I won't be back 'til it's done.

Can't think no more,

This war needs to be won.

Yes time won't lie,

If I have made the right choice,

And if I die

Please send my love out to Joyce.

Choose as you like;

Don't throw your life away like me

My choice to fight,

Was so that you could be free

Always remember

The way I loved you so dear

Hold me tender,

And shed away all the fear.

Sadly I leave,

As I leave you with a kiss

But please believe

You most of all I will miss.

You I adore,

But I must leave with the sun.

I'm off to war;

I won't be back 'til it's done.

Replied to Maven's
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...12#post1285312

[Maven.]

This was nice...very very simplistic though. Not really a bad thing though, just different. because of the way you structured it, the read was really slow, not dragging, but seeming like it was coming out of your mouth grudgingly...or maybe thoughtfully.
It was the opposite side of war, because most people write about the combat.
The only thing that was a little odd was using Joyce to rhyme with choice....it's like "what is the most obvious word I could possibly choose?" I dunno, just a thought.
I enjoyed Mattalicious =)

[MadMan]

.
The only thing that was a little odd was using Joyce to rhyme with choice....it's like "what is the most obvious word I could possibly choose?"

LMAO, that is why I made you my RBN admin. You got a great sense of humor.

[Sureal]

This Was A Good Peice Matthew. I Liked Most Of The Flow.
A Different Set Up... But You Are A Different Boy... Yes You Are..
Who Wants A Cookie... Yes You Do... Catch The Cookie Matty Poo.
And Thank You For Writing A Peice For Me Like This.

-Joyce

['PercepTion']

O.k..i can't really break this down..lol

I liked the poetic flow feel to it...came off nice and it was as fluent as any OM piece i usually see....Only thing that i really wasn't feelin' was the "Joyce" bit..maybe it was personal, if it is then it's good, but if it was just thrown in to rhyme with choice, then it was simplistic..and while were on simplistic, even th0 it was, it was filled with complex emotion & feelin' which kinda balenced it all out..lol

"3/5" - this was a nice orginal piece..don't see your droppin' much shit th0.

[Freeman]

This Was A Good Peice Matthew. I Liked Most Of The Flow.
A Different Set Up... But You Are A Different Boy... Yes You Are..
Who Wants A Cookie... Yes You Do... Catch The Cookie Matty Poo.
And Thank You For Writing A Peice For Me Like This.

-Joyce

L M M F A O..

Omg.. I cant stop laughing at that.. Lmao.. "Catch the cookie".. Hahahaha.. Fuck sake..

Oh God.. Anyway..

Simplistic piece.. Very short and sweet.. Emotion was in there..

Is this in anyway true? Do you love Joyce? Are you going to war? Lol..

Just curious as to whether it is ficticious or not..

Hit "For The First Time.." in my sig..

Thanks..

Pz..

[Laureate]

This was a nice drop. Simplistic...yet the emotion still was there. Flow was great...made it an easy read. It was kind of short..but thats ok. Overall this was a good drop...maybe be interested in writing a Part2 or sumthin?

[Whitelightning]

nice piece dude..

Felt the emotion throughtout..vocab hit the spot without being to technical.

Great Job

8/10

[Mag...]

very different than most things in OM... I liked it though... kinda had a stop start feel... with all the line spaces and whatnot... felt a little more like poetry than pure rap to me because of that...

emotion in the content wasn't hampered by a simple vocab either... which is the sign of a dope writer...

keep it up and good luck in our SS battle...

[southsideloco]

This is a very different piece homie, gives a new look to flowing, luved the difference tho. Your piece was very simplistic 2 but u put sum emotion in it which was heartfelt, overall u had a nice emotional different piece there...no flaws...keep flowin n hope to see sum more 4rom u...nice piece

return de favor n hit up OM in my sig...leave sum feedback..be much appreciated;thanx

Peace