Point of no return

[FreeThinker]

Point of no-return

When life reaches the point when you see no return
your instinct want you to resist - it starts to burn
but you persist - if you never live youll never learn
and your brain hits another gear - of no concearn
this happens all over the globe- and makes up our world
next few stories to follow are true- however absurd

There lives a Mad man - on the planet that we resident
like the devil controls havoc but calls himself the president
this dead soul stayed on earth - gave evil a new birth
and like the devil has found a body - and now is controlling gods turf
whole nations destroyed by metal birds who fly high above
all we do is spread war, threats and hate - what happened to love
like we are desperate to eliminate- everything humanly that remains
and the more we support the more this devil gains.....
but he grows smarter...while the rest of us fail to learn
the devil that controls us all... is reaching the point of no return...

every day evil is breading ... somewhere on this humanly place
people are getting murdered- banished just becaouse of their race
isnt millions years of evolution enough to show us all
we all evolved together.. and together we will fall
but this dangerous game.. is constantly turned on its head
when instead shooting racist words.... kids start to shoot lead..
and racism is growing.. evolving into the disease we all fear
the human extintion is calling... but we all refuse to hear...
and the point of no return.. is smiling in our faces...
but like we are smiling back... we countinue to hate other races..

this story doesnt conclude... becaouse it doesnt have an end
evil is slowly becoming earth's number one resident
I worry everyday, because we are drawing a sad picture for us all
human race is blind... and we are heading right for a wall
all pure souls on earh.... we can see our mother is starting to burn
and we cant do nothing.... becaouse we have reached the point of no return....

two Replys :
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...37#post1215837
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...45#post1215845

[L0st S0ul]

This by far is your greatest piece that i've seen....I mean damn this was fire, by tha third stanza i had chills...tha part about "we all evolved together...and together we will fall" that shit i had to tell some one about lol...So i showed my mom lmao...This was a nice piece, good flow, consistant very few stretched lines..Wordplay was good, and it wen't perfect with your verses..Imagary was nice, painted a picture in my head, and tha feeling behind your words were deep..Thats what i like to see in an open mic piece..Nice job dope drop...keep up your stamina and keep droppin crack..
~1~

[Trahedy Siphon]

bladow...ill stuff...gud metas round Bush....wordplay N vocab gud 2...
liked it cos it took a mad dirrective view

8/10

[Ace of Aces]

nice job no doubt. the flow and structure were good enough in my eyes.
but the strongest aspects of this was the imagery, vocab, and topic.
the meaning of this was felt easily. the imagery painted played out
very well in my mind. and this was not at all basic. kept me reading
to the end so its clear that its a dope drop. keep it up.

pz

[Genazyde]

This was real dope cuz! Hol' up...

Flow - on point throughout, real hott lyrics to go wit them too, not much as to say, jus' that this flow was illin'

Structure - hmm... this kinda lacked in places, it fell off in some points, but no hate...

Overall - 9/10... tha flow and tha lyrics made this piece hott!! Jus' fix your structure and in my opinion, this would then be a 10/10... this was real hott, keep doin' your thing cuz!

one

[FreeThinker]

^^ thanks you all

[SMZ]

Liked this - seemed very lucid. Flow was on point saw a few lines that seemed stretched but I think if this was audio it wouldn't be that noticeable. Nice progression throughout. Overall this piece makes you think - so I think you did what you wanted.
Really liked:
There lives a Mad man - on the planet that we resident
like the devil controls havoc but calls himself the president
Keep writing - Hit my Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet.

[Reason!]

YES!, i agree dude,
this peice is way better than,
your last peice,
although i've only read to of your peices,
lol, anyways, to me,
this flowed so perfectly,
as others may vary different,
but like i said,
in my opinion,
like homeboy said above me,
a peice like this will make u think,
and i luv reading stuff like that,
u get my respect for this peice man,
overall i give this peice a 8/10,
props.

hit up my peice called " A Daughter Of Eve "

Thanx.
Peace.

[FreeThinker]

up and away........................................

[FreeThinker]

up again )............................................

[Endeva.]

your elevating Ek, your scheme is getting more complex and carrying ya rhymes better... i like it, keep working on it... try to get rid of all the choppy transitions, when ya changing the rhyme, use sumthin that goes with the last, similar if you know what i mean ..... but decent drop..

[FreeThinker]

.........................................^^^...... ...............................

[FreeThinker]

upin ^^

[Penskills]

I'm famous for my "One-Liners" and I will keep the tradition going..
This was Nice ...
I can see that you are improving...you have improved drastically in your last few OM's..
Your imagery is alot better(Which is very important for a Topical writer.)
Your flow is consistent through out the whole piece.
Your strcuture is very impressive.
Your scheme needs a bit of work.
I can see that you are gonig to be a very nice OM head.... keep up the good work..peace..

[FreeThinker]

^^ much appriciated man ... thanks