When The Pen Strokes

[Mistral]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116062
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115986



When the pen strokes, ink is smeared into words that have significance…
On the paper it soaks, clenses your soul like you were burning insense…
Feelings are released, things just said slowly come together in the end…
Like god and a priest, it’s just something about it that you apprehend…
Words slowly sketched, people read them over and over to understand…
Sometimes its farfetched, others its bland or just not what was planned…
So many things are said, that helps get your point across to the reader…
The words are just fed, to your ears one by one as they follow the leader…
You listen and you hear, the emotion sometimes captures you in a trance…
Others it makes you tear, it takes you to the writers view in a quick glance…
Feelings are described, that words seem to seize better than your actions…
Views never denied, because theres no point in seeing them in fractions…
Cause of the emotion, the deepness of it makes it appeal to the public…
Your pen makes the comotion, they either hate it or they just love it…
Its line after line, cause you empty your heart into your work you write…
And time after time, you recite your feelings to the masses to delight…
When the end happens, it leaves people in awe or in shock at the ending…
They are always clappen, whether it was real or if you were pretending…

[FreeThinker]

I like this Credz. A lot. I was planing to write something simmilar about expression through words... so i connected really well with this piece. The lines SEEMED strached but it flowed so well that on the end it didnt take anything away from the whole thing.

When the pen strokes, ink is smeared into words that have significance…
On the paper it soaks, clenses your soul like you were burning insense

^ i loved the opening and it remian constant as it went throught the piece. The contence of was good. I especially liked the way it made me think of the way i express myself through writing. You keep on coming up with the goods. Good work Credz

[Provoked Images]

good piece, i like it...

you used quite a bit of advanced vocabulary and multi-syllable rhymes in tha beggining but it sorta fell off in tha end and started to become a lil simpler...
tha flow was there and i could keep my head boppin to it as i read and that's always a good thing...
tha topic was interesting to play off of, something i think every writer, from rappers to authors, probably go through, the essence or tha basis of how much thier words can mean to someone...

keep up...

[Endeva.]

decent enough read, credz.... plaesed to see sumthin different from you.... i thought you expressed the topic pretty well.... the scheme went well.... some nice vocab, could have been more evenly placed, but mostly good.... the flow would have been a bit better if there was a couple less syllables in your bars.... but yeah i liked it.....

[FanTa ZeE]

i liked it, but i couldn't help thinking that some of the lines seemed a little stretched, other that that, everything was near perfect, the vocab and concept really got me, coo. I loved it, keep dropping...

[L0st S0ul]

Like tha others said, yeah, a lil stretched, big deal, thats not gonna screw up dis nice piece, tha imagary was crazy deep, and tha vocab matched up perfect..Topic was new, liked it and how you delivered it was what made tha whole piece..Flow was on point too, overall nice piece,8/10
~1~

[L0st S0ul]

Check out my piece wid Diverse, Family Failures, if you can thanks..
~1~

[Mistral]

Thanks, I Was Just Trying A Different Style To See How It Worked Out, Upping

[Mistral]

Upping for some more feed

[SMZ]

Interesting piece - depending on how you said this I think it could come out without seeming stretched. Overall flow was nice you stayed true to your scheme throughout - all the rhymes line up pretty nicely.
Feelings are released, things just said slowly come together in the end…
Like god and a priest, it’s just something about it that you apprehend
seemed a little off in it's respective secondary parts to me - wasn't quite sure about the meaning of the second line either.
Agree with above that you had a very nice opening two lines. Thought you had a good idea for the closer but that it could've maybe hit a little harder with some rewording. Nice piece. I'm going to try to give you feedback on everything you post since you generally post a comment in almost everything that gets written in here.

[ELEETE]

I like this piece Credz.....Dev an I wrote a similar topic which you read called Mind Spoken.....feels like we shoulda made it a 3 person collab........nice use of words....you kept the subject the entire way through an didnt fall off it like a alot do........dope job......all in all this was nice......keep doing your thing.....peace