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Thread: The Envious Queen

  1. #1
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    The Envious Queen

    She sits, immortal on a trinket clad throne,
    Her chin forced upward towards the sky,
    And the earth, to her, is the land she calls her own,
    She controls the waves, the motion and the sky.
    Who would have known that it was unhappiness that drove her,
    That she prayed upon the downfall of mortal lives,
    That her envy destroyed all the beauty she saw below her
    That shone green, perilous and angry like the poisoned child.

    A world of little happiness underlies a sheet of purity, uncovered only by those immortal parts
    Sea and earth, and endless sky, the creation that we breathe, no idea that the world around would fall apart,
    Her spiteful hand at the epicentre of war, famine and tears, she teases as we kiss the ground goodbye,
    Sacrifice the gift of life, entrusted in all its glory, put an end to strive and close our eyes,
    What we don't see we must believe and in our greed we snatch, recieve, we laugh and taunt at those forgotton lies,
    Haunt our souls till minds collapse, and what we gave,we then retract, grab back all the objects that we supplied,
    'Its mine, its mine, i swear its mine! all is mine and nothing left for you!' she screams and points at those that skid the dirt,
    Claw eagerly at her golden robes for want of food deprived of bare neccessities, die of thirst
    As they fall she wipes her dress free of the marks that they had left, staring on in horror at their disrespect,
    'Who are they to touch this dress? who are they to disrespect? do they know of the honour that they address?'
    And this Queen in all her riches, still not satisfied, she cries herself to sleep those lonely nights,
    For want of just one friend, who would see her through the bitter end, who she could brand and thus pick fights..

    She sits, immortal on a trinket clad throne,
    Her chin forced upward towards the sky,
    And the earth, to her, is the land she calls her own,
    She controls the waves, the motion and the sky.
    Who would have known that it was unhappiness that drove her,
    That she prayed upon the downfall of mortal lives,
    That her envy destroyed all the beauty she saw below her
    That shone green, perilous and angry like the poisoned child.
    Def Poets

  2. #2
    Goby
    Guest
    nice. but there are times that i can't pinpoint the rhyming. other than that
    i'd say its a good piece. hit minez up in return plz.

    thanks

  3. #3
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    thanks for the reply...any more?
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  4. #4
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    i'm just a poor girl nobody loves me
    (shes just a poor girl from a poor family)

    LMAO

    Queen
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  5. #5
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    wow, i'm so unloved..thats ok, i got replies in poetry...
    Def Poets

  6. #6
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FanTa ZeE
    She sits, immortal on a trinket clad throne,
    Her chin forced upward towards the sky,
    And the earth, to her, is the land she calls her own,
    She controls the waves, the motion and the sky.
    Who would have known that it was unhappiness that drove her,
    That she prayed upon the downfall of mortal lives,
    That her envy destroyed all the beauty she saw below her
    That shone green, perilous and angry like the poisoned child.
    ^great.............You are getting better and better...Dope...nothing more to say....some people just don't know quality when they see one...

    ~Click~Click~sig~~

  7. #7
    L0st S0ul
    Guest
    This was a nice drop, more poetic then anything, i liked tha rhyme scheme, it takes effort to create lines like that..Overall i'd say this is a 7/10 good imagary a lot of feeling behind each line..Keep up tha good work..
    ~1~

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