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Thread: Self Belif

  1. #1
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    Self Belif

    Self Belife

    Born a long time ago - in a happy upbringing
    as a child enjoyed the outdoors- the birds singing
    Only eights years old- when hes life took a twist
    he woke up one morning...unable to move his wrist..
    he played it off. as pain that subsides..
    than one morning he woke up unable to feel his thigts
    takes to hospital... doctors measured his size...
    they needed a comftable wheal-chair.. he was paralyse...

    It means not having the outdoors... and only eight..
    not looking at statistics... he belived he controled his fate
    " when will i walk again"... he asked him mama...
    " one day soon" she would answer not to cause drama...
    The hope was always there for this little boy..
    But as times passes. he's whealchair was he's permenant toy
    He stilled belived. and he tried so hard..
    he belived he would walk a million miles.. if he could walk a yard

    One morning .. he woke up again... in his special bed
    Instinctly he tried to lift his arm to scrach his head...
    It didnt move... but he knew it was there....
    he never stoped beliving... that eventually he would get there
    80% paralized... the chances were slim... hope always high
    he wouldnt give up ... till the day he died..
    Never losing hope... one morning woke up and lifted my arm
    I always knew i would you see.... thats why i remained calm..
    In a year i was 0%.. paralised...
    doctors couldnt belive it...like all along it was a lie.....
    Newspapers asked how.... I didnt even understand.....
    I always knew i was gonna walk.. why is it hard to comprahend

  2. #2
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    i like the story, it was present throughout the whole song, the imagery was pretty good, a couple of nice metas "He stilled belived. and he tried so hard..
    he belived he would walk a million miles.. if he could walk a yard"<---one imparticular.
    spelling could of used a little work..interesting story with a consistent flow nice job...keep it up...post an honest vote on my battles...i want them closed

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112928
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113431

  3. #3
    Savir
    Guest
    yeah...this was coo..

    good story...but the narration was kinda weak...
    coulda been a bit more interestingly put..
    vocab kinda basic as well..your transitions from
    bar to bar coulda been put together more smoothly
    besides taht...this is a solid peace...
    please peep my open mic...its in my sig..late

  4. #4
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    thanks guys.. . and uppin for some more

  5. #5
    Savir
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    yo..go peep the link in my sig...peace

  6. #6
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    yo this was a pretty easy read the flow was off at some points but that did take away from the content and the level of emotion the shit was hot tho

    if you could peep my shit as well (that's life)
    shut the fuck up

    even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

    dead in middle of little of little italy
    little did we know that we riddle
    some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun

  7. #7
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    uppin

  8. #8
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    thought this was good in some ways, but let down in others... the way you dont it, didnt seem very well worded and the rhyming wasnt too smooth, but the concept was good... jus a bit sloppy in the execution,, but all in all it was still worth the read,,,, keep dropp'n em......
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

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