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Thread: I am afraid.

  1. February 13th, 2004, 01:53 AM #1
    The Realist
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    I am afraid.

    Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
    Thus passions take a start and go farther!

    I miss you, every last part of your being
    I would act out for everyone if you are seeing
    Where are you, I wake up alone at night
    Searching the covers, alone and in fright
    Dream of you as my security blanket
    Cover my fears, shielding me quick
    Ignorance is bliss, do I contradict
    Life without you encompassing me
    Dream a little dream of me...

    I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
    Someone asked me a question today...

    What’s your biggest fear?

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  2. February 13th, 2004, 03:22 AM #2
    BlazinBabieDoll
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Realist
    Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
    Thus passions take a start and go farther!

    I miss you, every last part of your being
    I would act out for everyone if you are seeing
    Where are you, I wake up alone at night
    Searching the covers, alone and in fright
    Dream of you as my security blanket
    Cover my fears, shielding me quick
    Ignorance is bliss, do I contradict
    Life without you encompassing me
    Dream a little dream of me...

    I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
    Someone asked me a question today...

    What’s your biggest fear?
    You have painted a picture here or longing and lonliness. In many ways I can definitely see where you are coming from and I am sure many can identify with you. Losing someone hurts infintely worse when you truely love them. I hope you find that someone again someday.
    In my babydoll dress upon a shelf
    Seeming innocent, naughtiness stealth
    Bubble gum kisses to tease your soul
    Just hold me tight and I'll be in your control.
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  3. February 13th, 2004, 10:32 AM #3
    Edicius
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    Poetry.. nice, .. ^ like stated a very good picture u potraited, here.. some lines made me think, that was very good.. vocab was very good & on point.. but what stood out here was the depth, & i believe in poetry thats the goal to reach for a writer, the deepness in a piece, and u acomplished that in this one, so very good =) i liked it man .. Props..

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  4. February 13th, 2004, 11:06 AM #4
    Chrit.
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    Can Def. see the emotion here..... very nice man = )
    AI
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  5. February 13th, 2004, 12:32 PM #5
    Lord Dark
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Realist
    Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
    Thus passions take a start and go farther!

    I miss you, every last part of your being
    I would act out for everyone if you are seeing
    Where are you, I wake up alone at night
    Searching the covers, alone and in fright
    Dream of you as my security blanket
    Cover my fears, shielding me quick
    Ignorance is bliss, do I contradict
    Life without you encompassing me
    Dream a little dream of me...

    I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
    Someone asked me a question today...

    What’s your biggest fear?

    booooooooo!
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  6. February 13th, 2004, 01:04 PM #6
    rule
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    Emotion was great I liked the way you put forth this piece very well done i think you should make another verse for it because this was good another verse or two this would make a great audio track
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..
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  7. February 16th, 2004, 09:03 PM #7
    Ambient Light
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    Strange Soda? I like it

    I Haven't Been Nowhere..But..Can You See Where I'm Coming from...
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  8. February 16th, 2004, 10:06 PM #8
    Tiptripp
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    It's great as it is, but if you really want my attention then maybe adding a little bit more atmosphere. I see your bed, I see it is night, but why not make the night a bit more interesting? sounds, sights, smells... maybe less on the smells...
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  9. February 17th, 2004, 07:51 AM #9
    M.Perror Ming
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    This poem is very deep. I like the topic. Very good vocab and wordplay. Overall very nice peice.
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  10. February 23rd, 2004, 08:54 PM #10
    lasemishorty
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    hey this dont need improvement it's fine as it is
    i like it. i'm feeling this and it makes me think that i wouldnt like to wake up without the one i love one day
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  11. March 3rd, 2004, 08:02 PM #11
    shawty"B"
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    dope. theres a definate picture thats painted here, and its one that u see alot in the world.

    ...........fav part.......

    I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
    Someone asked me a question today...

    What’s your biggest fear?

    keeo droppin
    return tha favor

    ....bless

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  12. March 7th, 2004, 08:41 AM #12
    lyricalchick86
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    dis poem was tight dat was a very good way u mad da topic urs keep droppin

    ..................fav part.....................
    Dream a little dream of me...

    I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
    Someone asked me a question today...

    What’s your biggest fear?
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  13. March 7th, 2004, 11:24 AM #13
    ThatKiddPhilly
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    it was dope keep up tha good work
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  14. March 7th, 2004, 11:48 AM #14
    Maven.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Realist
    I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
    Someone asked me a question today...

    What’s your biggest fear?
    that was the best part of the entire thing.
    since everyone has already told you how dope this was:
    try to make things clearer in your piece...back up the emotions with events, hint at things that happened, make the reader want more.
    my biggest fear is that the rabbit from donnie darko is going to run me over.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..
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  15. May 8th, 2004, 06:04 PM #15
    tinker bell
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    your speaken poeitry ,. poeitry is cool
    TINKS
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