My PrAyers...

[southsideloco]

wasup rb....heres anotha drop from de kid....hope its a good read fo yall ...

Its kinda short but it was hard fo me to drop sumtin about god n holy stuff so give me sum feedback...



Every night before i drop my tired body n let my soul explore
I bend to my knees n pray to God fo leavin me wit open doors
I ask him for forgiveness so i dont have to carry any of these burdens
I be hopin prayers work so he be listenin to every sin that im worden
I thank him tho...cuz he understand n still luv me tho i killed a man
Jus like in pearl harbor when lots o soldiers prayed afta killen japan
I may have a good ticket to hell but at least i dont feel sad or guilty
Because i know ive confessed n prayed so my spirit n soul aint as filthy
Afta my long list o confessions i ask him fo all his protection n blessins
I ask him to give me confidence n faith, so i can see myself progressin
I ask him to please let me free of the demons that control my fucked head
I ask him because i give my life to him n faith jus like the holy bible said
Then the last n final part of my prayers is when i thank him fo everything
I thank him for the wondas hes done for me n lettin me be less reverie stringd
I conclude my prayers with the cross hand sign n say amen to the greatest
For leavin me wit the best of options n always takin me on the spiritual quest


hope it was a good read fo yall n lookin fo sum feedback...

Peace

[southsideloco]

Uppin this fo sum feeback........

[ELEETE]

You've been gettin better I see since your last drop dawg......an that's good man......progression is the key here.....people of course will come in here an say that ur wack an all but I've read your work before an I can the progress you've made...that's really good...keep workin on the flow movement an the content...keep at it! You'll only get better!!! An check my latest open mic.....its one of my best....I changed my style up....
Its called Foresight...(The Mirror)....hit it up an drop some feed.....its on the first page of Open Mic

[southsideloco]

thanx homie....uppin for sum more feedback

[Mistral]

Yeah this was a pretty good drop here man....your structure seemed pretty good in this.....Try adding some multies to this though to make it more complex....but i thought you did good on the content....the flow to this was pretty good i thought, it stayed on point through out the piece...only problem is all the lines you started with the word "I" some of those lines you didnt need it, but its all good...keep at it man

[Ace of Aces]

Dope piece. The lines depicted sum nice imagery there. The flow was near flawless, as well as the structure. You were pretty consistent with wut you were trying to say, and the complexity was nice also. I aspecially like the topic though cuz I can relate, except for the fact that I haven’t killed a man before. But very nice piece. I enjoyed reading this. Keep at it.

pz

[southsideloco]

I havent killed a man either but i jus put that to make it seem more depressing but thanx ne wayz homie