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Thread: SS: Hold On Tight

  1. #1
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    SS: Hold On Tight

    Change comes in time, it's an inevitable fact of life
    It causes so much agony, it leads to so much strife
    And if you wait long enough, change will happen, it's true
    But if you wait for change, it may not catch up to you
    Because people change, and you want them to change back overnight
    But you may be in for the fight of your life, you may want to hold on tight


    Life is never what it seems, lies are among us all
    Whether they deceive, or it's a bluff that you can easily call
    Secrets buried in the closet rarely get to be revealed
    People want to deal on their own, so secrets stay concealed
    Jackie was just like many, had troubles with her spouse
    Yells often echoed through the hollowed walls of the house
    Punches often flew, but all of them were at her
    But she held on tight, she was a better fighter

    4 Months Later
    Cops were finally called in,they thought it was for the best
    Jackie never understood, it felt like a slug to her chest
    She cashed in her savings for him to be able to make bail
    And all the great things she did, seemed to be of no avail
    All he could see was that it was her fault, he hit her with a bottle of beer
    And if he had wanted to see who was really at fault, he just had to go to a mirror
    She stayed through the punches, and she lasted the night
    She was quite the fighter, she just held on tight

    Change
    She thought he could change, it was a matter of time
    "Things'll get better, and he'll be back to being mine"
    But beatings continues and court appearences would ensue
    But he always got bail, and Jackie let the cycle continue
    Til one time the fighting knocked her into submission
    If only Jackie's choices had gotten some revision
    And in the hospital, on life support she sits and continues her fight
    Not knowing what tomorrow will bring, not being able to hold on tight

    Change comes in time, it's an inevitable fact of life
    It causes so much agony, it leads to so much strife
    And if you wait long enough, change will happen, it's true
    But if you wait for change, it may not catch up to you
    Because people change, and you want them to change back overnight
    But you may be in for the fight of your life, you may want to hold on tight
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  2. #2
    -.'real.- Sureal's Avatar
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  3. #3
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    This was a good read...complex...to the point..good straight forward ideas...good vocab and very desriptive...great work...keep it up
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  4. #4
    Potent
    Guest
    ok piece u need o flow a lil better..try not to strech so much

  5. #5
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    I went for imagery instead of phrasing, thanks for the critique yall.
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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