Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Page 1 of 3 1 2 ... LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 37

Thread: Lessons Of Legends

  1. #1
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3

    Lessons On Legends

    My mind was progressin'..ahem..excuse me, class is in session,
    On how to handle my new obsession, achieveing O.M legends,
    The though of it had me stressin', Started with "Desperation",
    Writtin by Domain 9, you could see his respect for Bruk in each line,
    Made my heart welt, so though-out and deeply felt, this must of been a sign,
    Because for this, I read every written legend, and they all stayed in mind,
    Moved to pieces by Camarac, purest form of dope, I had to sit back,
    Replenish my mind, for another textual track, of which nothing it lacked,
    Recently read "Blood On The Pillow", I wondered how to visualize,
    What he saw through his eyes, the whole idea caught me for a suprise,
    The message it was sending, the concepts portrayed at the ending,
    Though, my feelings on Weezy's "America" is still pending,
    But the verse itself had me in my brain mending my questioning,
    Of what deserved to be considered an open mic legend,
    How would I reach my own space set in a sort of RB heaven,
    By now I make my way on to reading a Sand classic "Pain of Plane",
    I'd never remain the same, for my vocabulary had changed,
    I guess I could say Legends took me from a fetus into a writer,
    A born again writer, cleaning his mouth that was like a fighter,
    Had I of tried, I could've been "Almost Famous", yet I was "Napping Thru Reality",
    These senseless notions, causing myself all this mental comotion,
    So now I stick with myself this forum I always seem to open,
    And if I could accompish having a thread in this so say, perfect potion,
    The thought would be a "Reflection of Fate" , that I to showed magical devoution,


    ........Thank you for your time class, I hope this may have inspired you.
    Last edited by Lord Sarcasm; January 13th, 2004 at 06:47 PM
    WordPerfect

  2. #2
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    Don't Sleep!
    WordPerfect

  3. #3
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    please people..are you kidding me?
    WordPerfect

  4. #4
    Is Gettin' Busy. Orikle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,414
    Battle Record
    11-7
    Good idea but...

    My mind was progressin'..ahem..excuse me, class is in session,
    On how to handle my new obsession, achieveing O.M legends,
    The though of it had me stressin', Started with "Desperation",

    ^^That part flowed pretty well...but...

    Writtin by Domain 9, you could see his respect for Bruk in each line,
    Made my heart welt, so though-out and deeply felt, this must of been a sign,
    Because for this, I read every written legend, and they all stayed in mind,

    ^^When you moved to that it just didn't flow off the opening section...

    Take out senseless words and sure maintain the content but don't forget about the flow and rhyming structure ay...Keep at it mate...Hit my piece up ay...Pz...
    <center>Artificial Intelligence.</center>
    <center>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    </center>
    <center>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    </center>

  5. #5
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    alrightey.. i'll get to it...
    WordPerfect

  6. #6
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    wow..o.m is going to hell...
    WordPerfect

  7. #7
    beyond dope.
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Posts
    13,202
    Battle Record
    50-27
    Yea agree try to use less fillers, .. flow was ok on most points, .. story was well i liked it .. nice concept.. good vocab usage.. = ) .., but try to remove words that are just being there lol..but still a nice read man props.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    - Artificial Intelligence

  8. #8
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    Damn words..mysteriously find themselves there..their like bagladies...
    WordPerfect

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Castro XL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Tha mighty N.O
    Age
    35
    Posts
    63
    Battle Record
    0-1
    It was alright
    Hottest Free Agent Holla at yah boy

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    5,158
    Battle Record
    1-4
    I enjoyed this..
    but as said earlier, you had a lot of line fillers
    vocab was nice, so was structure and fillers
    this was quite nice.

  11. #11
    I did liek this quite a bit. Flow stayed mostly solid, and I dug the respect that you laid out for the other things people have been laying down. Cleaning up some of the extra syllables would make this top rate.

    Hit me back, man.

    One

  12. #12
    Super Spic, w00t! Emerge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Sacramento
    Posts
    15,665
    Battle Record
    37-1
    take out those silly unneeded words
    and your lines were really really long...cut them in 1/4

    good shit

    but you will get better than this easily?

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  13. #13
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    word...love ya'll man...*sniff*sniff*
    WordPerfect

  14. #14
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Northern Ireland, UK
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,166
    Battle Record
    7-13
    Had some nice flow here, dope internals throughout, you pulled it off pretty well, but i thnk you overused alot of words n' terms here...it seemed the flow was stretched in places, but overall it was pretty good.

    Liked the topic...it's good that some people can write shit about rb, lotta good relational shit in here, was a good read...

    "message it was sending, the concepts portrayed at the ending,
    Though, my feelings on Weezy's "America" is still pending,"

    "And if I could accompish having a thread in this so say, perfect potion,
    The thought would be a "Reflection of Fate" , that I to showed magical devoution,"

    - some dope bars...

    3/5 if you have time can you return the favour?? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=106501
    Open Mic's


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    --------------------------------

  15. #15
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    dope..ill peep that..
    WordPerfect

Similar Threads

  1. Life lessons
    By B CAL in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: August 24th, 2009, 09:17 PM
  2. Lifes Lessons
    By M.V.P in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: December 2nd, 2005, 12:11 PM
  3. Life Lessons
    By comfortablynumb in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: September 17th, 2005, 11:30 AM
  4. Rocky Lessons+Mickey Lessons
    By Brother Blue Collar in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: July 11th, 2004, 03:20 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •