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Thread: Dead Language

  1. #1
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    Dead Language

    “I respect your identity”
    isn’t romantic
    it isn’t dramatic, or inspiring
    “I love you”
    is beyond a cliché
    but I mean them when I say them
    I mean well
    the things that words are not
    can be powerful
    and words themselves
    are not complete without absence
    or ubiquitous in scope
    I wouldn’t ask them to be
    and if I could talk to words
    with words
    I’d truly be onto something
    now figure that one
    tell me something new
    while you affirm
    everything
    I already know
    every stray thought
    and every muzzled rabid thought
    unleashed
    everything unsaid
    the syllabic crescendo
    that punctuates the gap between
    each spoken utterance
    the silence in the decibels
    deafening and terrible
    “Am I over-analyzing?”
    isn’t a closed question
    or intended as one
    articulate your musings
    or execute your muse
    a pragmatist to the end
    and not every ending
    achieves understanding
    if I could translate
    my body language
    it would be pig latin
    smeared in mud and shit
    sacred to a few
    bacon to some
    and wild to others
    some say my words might fly
    “I respect your will”
    “I love your willingness”
    exercise caution
    when spreading your wings
    or otherwise
    your gentle legs
    this isn’t nihilism, but
    these thoughts I think
    have the overbearing relevance
    of a dead language
    ...

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  3. #3
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Language

    LOL this was pretty nice man i enjoyed this, definately an original concept for me man when reading this, i loved the little hidden metaphors in this, like this one
    some say my words might fly
    “I respect your will”
    “I love your willingness”

    i mean the fly ads in cool metaphor and then decribing the 2 different pronounciations were dope to me man, blah if im not mak9ng sense right now lol 3am and im sleepy but word. this had some really cool imagery and the pig latin line was dope with the ones followed. i like the idea also of '' if i could talk to word's, using words i would'' tyype shit awesome man. props NOM'D
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  4. #4
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: Dead Language

    hmmm..

    different take, and a different style than i'm used to seeing. i liked it, yet i think the lines broke a little too soon to entirely finish the thought. you started a new thought as soon as i thought you were finishing the one previous to it. not a long piece, but i think towards the end i could somewhat understand what you were meaning by dead language. you mentioned pig latin which i though was pretty cool. i like to see some familiar ideas to spice up the piece and speed my reading. not the best i've read lately but definitely cool, decent shit - keep it up.

  5. #5
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    Re: Dead Language

    Uhhh... this is my first take on interpreting this. the worst thing about feedback is this - I read a poem, a GOOD poem, one that activates my emotions and mind - and I understand the concept, but when I try to articulate what the concept is, the perfect words elude me, which I guess is why the concept requires a poem to be brought to the surface and shared in the first place. i dont really write like that, but you did here. Anyways, i wouldn't waste my time blabbing on about that unless it had a point, and I think that my explanation is a good segue into the actual concept of the poem - that some words cant be said with words, some things you just feel, like "I love you" - such a term is thrown around and has somewhat lost its meaning, or at elast the amount of meaning your trying to convey when you say it.


    and words themselves
    are not complete without absence
    or ubiquitous in scope
    Here, i think your saying that the innate flaw in simple words and language is that they do not cover every aspect of expression
    I wouldn’t ask them to be
    and if I could talk to words
    with words
    I’d truly be onto something
    Here my explaining gets a little fuzzy - sort of like the concept of ... how can I put this, expressing yourself to a fellow human via humanity. the double meaning here is something too.. if you could talk with words and sort out any lost in translation ussues, or talking to them with them, relates to the aforementioned concept or something else that I can't put my damn finger on. Enough dwelling on it though.

    the silence in the decibels
    deafening and terrible
    I don't want to quote everything but this part and the bits before accentuates the concept brewing in my head.

    articulate your musings
    or execute your muse
    a pragmatist to the end
    and not every ending
    achieves understanding
    Not everything you say can ultimately bring the listener to the point you want to bring them to. I love the use of pragmatist, and nihilism in there, because they put so much more focus on the piece, not because theyre poetic words or anything, they just helped explain to the reader excellently. the ultimatum at the beginning is nice - speak and explain thoroughly, or your inspiration to speak is nothing at all; dead; because the idea was not portrayed effeciently.

    this isn’t nihilism, but
    these thoughts I think
    have the overbearing relevance
    of a dead language
    and bang- the belief in nothing; that nothing can be communicated. Not precisely your feelings on this subject, but there exists a subtle parallel because you felt the need to put it in there to differentiate your ideology from nihilism.

    interesting. dead language seems to represent body language, maybe some sexual overtones in there (otherwise your gentle legs, some other love arcs) - communication with emotion, facial and body keys, and inferred concepts beause of chared experience, ecetera. kinda funny i struggle explaining the concept of the poem because of the concept of the poem. One last thing though - ultimately, explaining an abstract concept is deemed a dead language. What better tool to explain such a slippery topic than poetry? That was my final eureka moment; all those concepts spliced with "poetry is dead".

    mechanics wise: cool double-takes here and there, not TONS of actual devices, though, I'm a whore for wordplay and imagery myself, and I think line breaks shouldve been used more judiciously.

    there also seemed to be some decent love/girflfriend arcs that i won't get into, but I felt em a bit, not nearly as much as the encompassing concept though.

    of course, I could be entirely wrong. pzlata

    do a solid and hit my piece up
    Last edited by soulstice.; February 1st, 2011 at 10:43 PM

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