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Thread: for years to come

  1. #1
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest

    for years to come

    Haven't written down my thoughts in a minute - i will return with some hard punches ... in the meantime between time i'll be hitten ya'll hard wit comments...aiight...
    da hunnet

  2. #2
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest
    eyo
    :::....:::
    mic check one - two ... makin sure this shiznit is on.....



    from time to time you have been on my mind
    with your majestic legs to your timeless breasts
    i breath your desire
    such a desire that blows my strength into an eternity of discretion that is hard to surpass into my many everlasting comfessions
    of
    my undoubtful love for you
    with both time and chance i am transformed from one that discloses to one that transposes any type of affection

    i feel your wind
    i feel your spirit
    i feel your mind

    my heart beats to your silent drum
    breathe out - so i can breathe you in -

    although you don't know who i am i will forever know YOU
    from time to time you have been on my mind
    with your majestic legs to your timeless breasts
    i breath your desire

    my love for you always
    for years to come

    ___uppn for some comments...I know i can do better but i just had to get some type of literature out there...its been a minute___
    Last edited by SmoothCrmnl; June 20th, 2003 at 09:24 PM

  3. #3
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest
    uppn for comments

  4. #4
    Pr0phecy
    Guest
    yo man...wtf was that ish....lol
    good stuff man...
    keep that raw ish coming

  5. #5
    Obama 08 :) Sincere™'s Avatar
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    Oct 2002
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    RAW Nice....and confusing 3 words..lol that makes a perfect poem

    Nice drop

    peep mine
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=58416

  6. #6
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest
    thanx ya'll uppn for mo comments

  7. #7
    Certified Vet Content's Avatar
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    "timeless breasts" okay preacher....keep gettin the literature out
    myspace.com/tnetnoc
    myspace.com/understream

  8. #8
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest
    hahaha i know i know...holla

    uppn yall

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! deushy's Avatar
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    haha nice...
    "got a warning lable tattooed on my back, says'' who ever talk shit will be glued to my gat"


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  10. #10
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins
    nice and the lines that really stood out to me and kept me reading was " breathe out - so i can breathe you in -

    althought you don't know who i am i will forever know YOU"
    check ya later
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  11. #11
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest
    haha thanx ya'll...keep uppn kidz

  12. #12
    phoenix808
    Guest
    ill rhyme, discloses transposes, didn't even though those words existed... the breathe out breath in thing was good, keep it up. peace

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    pretty interesting....the vocabs are really good..teh flow was a bit off but could work on it....

    "my heart beats to your silent drum
    breathe out - so i can breathe you in - "

    like they said..the whole breathing thing..is defnitely out there nice work!

    ahhhhh i feel like i can relate cuz the past few days ive been feeling that shit...and its crazy...ahhh

    but yeah...i liked it but couldve been better...drop more!

  14. #14
    SmoothCrmnl
    Guest
    holl ya'll...thanx for da comments

  15. #15
    Newbie WrEcKLe$$'s Avatar
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    damn dawg....

    very very well written...i liked how u wrote it...it got ur ideas through better and it allowed the readers time to pause and think about wut u just wrote...

    that was very deep sonny....very ill..keep droppin that knowledge on us man...

    be-eazy

    go check out "the utopia of our love" if ya got a quick minute....
    Reppin Street-Science dot com

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