Check in's by TUESDAY
Verses are due THURSDAY
Voting End's SATURDAY
16-48 lines,
you must drop the links to 5 battles
that you have voted on in this thread.
Topic...
Wandering
LyricAli
R-Rated
Check in's by TUESDAY
Verses are due THURSDAY
Voting End's SATURDAY
16-48 lines,
you must drop the links to 5 battles
that you have voted on in this thread.
Topic...
Wandering
- MadMan -
Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better
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Alright well I am checkin in now and its Sunday. On the last one there wasn't a pole.....so like if I win...do I get a win on my record? And the same for loss....do I get that on my record?
pEAce
Marv Albert: LyricALI, anything to say about your opponent's avatar before signing in this week's RBTL- excuse me, SS, topical match?
LyricALI: No Comment. .
IN
Author's Note.: This particular piece was inspired by a certain event that took place in the Western states over the course of the past year. . You ought to be able to figure out what I'm talking about without an explanation.
Taken from comfort. . That is, Suburbia and the life it denotes
A creek and groan, the speaking drones with a knife to her throat
That is, whispering. . Orders from strangers, who are draped in black
Chills with no place to go seemingly find an escape in her back
They're out a window and into the brush, pajamas donned on her body
The classic damsel in distress. . She was everything a fawn could embody
Days pass, locations change. . She knows not of the surrounding searches
Wandering. . Identities now revealed, but her fate is sounding purchased
Wondering and wandering; Two similar words have encompassed her life
She prays she's back in her bedroom, then dumped of her plight
Not to be. . Two seasons pass, along with war and a change of years
She accepts her fate. . Long gone is hope, she's even estranged from fear
Enter Spring 2003, searches dwindle as the case's duration's been sinned
The Smart family runs low on hope, even their patience is thin
When, POOF! In close proximity, the news breaks with speed to ears
With joy and in matrimony, the grateful Smarts concede their tears
A long day, Liz meets with media as they ponder whether the attack had just loomed
A few hours past midnight, along with her family, she WANDERS back to her room
Aight this is my topical battle spit against LryicAli..
Sounds of police cars and fire trucks…
Its dark and gloomy..seems everyones left me to take care of myself..I’m only 16 how can I provide what I need for myself? /1
My parents were taken from me when I was only 13…my dad was murdered cold blood and my mom was raped behind a drive in movie screen /2
I can’t believe how easily things of switched around..used to have a happy loving family..but it seems as if I am the only one whoz not burried in da ground /3
Fuck all dem bitch ass niggaz who took from me what can never be replaced...I’ve kept these feelings in way too long..I’ve kept dem incased /4
I have a rage that is about to be released and when I go over the edge I can’t be stopped...just like Biggie all dem bitches gone get popped /5
I got what I did not diserve, a life without my parents to show me the ways of growing up and you betta believe I’m on my last nerve /6
I’m hungry, looking for another meal to steal, Its hard being so young going against niggaz who have been living on da streets 15 years fo real /7
Always searching for the next place where I can get a fast pay..no more good pussy only pussy that hasn’t been cleaned for days /8
Scared to sleep at night always gotta be watching out for niggaz who wanna take ya life…that’s why I always stay with my gat and knife /9
Wandering threw these back streets and gang polluted blocks..gotta stay neutral and always watching ya back cause you might get knocked /10
I miss my life back when my parents were living…but I got my homies behind me..promising to always stay stickin not trippin /11
In a way I feel responsible for my parents death…but what the fuck was I to do when I was getting choked to the point I passed out with one last breath /12
I shouldn’t of gottin involved with the gangs and drugz…never would of thought it would turn upside down and see my parents killed by thugz /13
The police can’t stop dem niggaz from sellin weed and crack…that’s why every kid by the age of 10 is addicted to coke and smack /14
You wanna see whats its like living in dis neighborhood? Follow me as you will remember dis experience for good /15
I made the mistake when I was 12 to get involved in this shit…got beat in and they didn’t stop till I had blood in my spit /16
They beat me to the point where I couldn’t breath and I was hurting…but I thought it was worth it but I almost got killed...it was almost curtians /17
Like what they say…what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger...well I suppose that’s true cause after that I could take beatings longer /18
The street will make you stronger and change you in so many wayz..some shit will leave you mind boggeled and dazed /19
I have been in so much trouble these past 4 years…got convicted of stealing, grand theft auto, drugz, and get poisioned from vodka and beer /20
I had my future all planned out…marriage, a huge house, nice job, and two wonderful children...never thought I would be in the process of ODing on penacelion /21
Gang members run towards him
I am tired of running in fear of my life and never being able to get a full nights rest..my heart is fucking pounding straight outta my chest /22
My adrenaline is pumping and I am gaspin for air..what the fuck…why can’t you just leave me alone instead of causing warfare? /23
You can’t catch me I am the fastest from 304..fuck this.. time to head in this building threw this back door /24
Enters threw back door and ends up in an abandoned warehouse
Its mysterious, dark, and foggy..the only light is from the moon shining into the cracks..every window and door is bolted shut except for the ones in da back /25
I wander slowly threw this warehouse which seems to be from a horror movie..hopefully I don’t see any kidz trying to reserect Mike Myers to come kill me /26
I make it to the stairs and I see that girl from the exorcist running down the stairs upside down towards me…yo what the fuck was that..I think I am going crazy cause I know that I didn’t see /27
I hear the back door open and I just fuckin run up the stairs as fast as I can and find a spot in this corner where I stay in silence /28
Gats, Mac-10’s, Ak’s, and M16’s why in this world where we could have peace..why do we have to have so much fuckin violence /29
Here dem niggaz come up the stairs talking about killing me when dey find me...I dunno what I did but w/e it is we need to come to terms where we can agree /30
Theres no where to run and no where to hide...the only thing I see that is gonna help my is my automatic nine at my side /31
Sweating and my hands are shaking..I am about to lose it..I can’t take this my motherfucking mind is breaking /32
Fuck being a bitch I’m tired of taken shit..I’ma shoot both these motherfuckers till there fuckin skulls are split /33
I’ma fuckin tear off dey balls and dick..do some mad scientist creations and turn their packages into a pussy and clit /34
I stand up and scream…”You motherfuckers can touch me..I don’t a fuck man ..come get me!” /35
They run towards me and the one on the left pulls back his fist and punches me right in my left eye…I fall to the ground my mind is spinning and all I can see is the sky /36
They stomp me until my stomach feels like it is gonne pop out my back..I can’t breath I’ma about to have a motherfucking asthma attack /37
They pull me up and slam me against the wall..my whole body is numb and can’t even feel it when the knee me square in the balls../38
Tears of pain and anger run down my face..all of a sudden I am filled with rage and my first embrace /39
I start swinging in a crazy rage..couldn’t tell that I was unexperienced unless you knew my age /40
I knocked the one to the ground and wouldn’t stop beating until the second thug snatched me up and kicked me in my chest /41
He told me that he was glad he raped my mom and put both of dem in the dirt for there eternal slumber of rest /42
I just broke out in tears and was in a rage where their was nothing that could hurt me..I picked him up over me head and brung his spine cord on my knee /43
All I heard was crack and he screamed out in pain…I broke his back and you could tell he had just suffered a main fain /44
I got down and punched the other one till he begged me to stop…face bloody so to end his misery and mine I just pulled out my gat and POP! /45
I picked the other one up and carried him outside and placed him in front of his house..placed them there and had his mom come out see him ..getting blood on her blouse /46
I looked and them both and I shot him in his head...now I’m wandering in these back streets and I think its almost time for bed /47
I can’t live my life like this everyday running for my life in dread..so for now fuck bed..I’m wandering to somewhere new to start my life over again like my probation officer said. /48
That was my topical spit…hope ya’ll enjoyed it.
Last edited by R-Rated; June 26th, 2003 at 02:39 AM
Alright, for you R-Rated, I might just lower the amount of lines you can spit. Yours kept me uninterested, I felt it to be very jumpy, you know what I mean, kinda like you were changing subjects most of the time. But it was alright, I truly didn't think it was that great though, elevate. Score=6.9
LyricAli: When I first read yours, I felt...empty, like it really wasn't the ending I was hoping for. When you do stories like these, it's good to base them upon a true story, not have them be the exact same story because, then it isn't really you writing it, is it. The first half of yours was worthy of note, I didn't like the rest.
Score=7.4
Vote=LyricAli
- MadMan -
Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better
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ok here we go
Lyricali: One of the better opicals ive read so far...you had me wondering what was going to happen and awesome imagery
Score: 7.7
R-Rated: Your lines are far too long and i was't feeling the whole "fuck those bitch ass nigga" thing...topical arent supposed to be over sweared, at least in my opinion
Score: 6.3
Vote: Lyricali
<center>[size=6I'm Back..Did Ya Miss Me?[/size]</center>
dang man long shit.......imagery was blazin in lyricali...and well damn dude jsut too long man *shakes head* idid you go over the limit o summit
VOTE= Lyricali
Both battles didnt seem to be that much on topic, I would have to vote for Lyric because his was
more or less based on a tru story (I never watch tha news) But R was like a long half battle half
story tellin that went back an forth an jus got kinda confusin...
But vote Lyricali, the flow an story line went better for wandering
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Lyricali Portrayed The Topic Mystikally... It Was Pro.. I Loved His Delivery.. Where As R-Rated Broke The Rules And Tried To Say Some 2 Line Things were one line... It Dont Matter What They Look Like In Word Or Whatever... It Had To Equal 16-48 Lines On Rb.. And His Was Too Long And Uninteresting..
Vote LyricAli
.WP. .. It' Still Perfect..
ok my vote is gonna have to be 4 lyricali
i really related to the story in his becuase i know the smart family personally.... and getting back their daughter was a great thing for them.... you put it great too.... it was overall a great topical
R-rated,some of your lines didnt ryhme,but the story would have been good for something else.Like if you as board and you wanted to make a book or somethin.Both kept me interested.Lyricali was batter though.Like I said R that was a better story then rap.