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Thread: Corrupted Visions: Don't Need You

  1. #1
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    Corrupted Visions: Don't Need You

    Posted In: FormulaMC, Gene Pool, Defend

    Where the fuck were you when I needed you? You were not here..
    Took shit for you and I bled too But now in these eyes I got tears..
    Full of stress you gave, but yet you still go, bitch don’t Test my game..
    Your not the greatest your next to lame, honestly ya blessed for shame..
    Rest in graves and get used to it, you’ll be there for putting me through shit…
    You knew it would happen this is true shit you know what just screw it..
    Cause im tired of hearing you going in different directions and steering through..
    Cause with all this confusion some times from you im just fearing truth…
    I just wanna scream a curse cause every thing seems too worse…
    And dreams do hurt cause I wanted in with you but this team don’t work..

    Cause I…
    Don’t need you, and don’t need your help…
    Don’t need you, so just go fuck yourselves…
    Cause I…
    Don’t need you, and don’t need your help…
    Don’t need you, so just go fuck yourselves...

    Fuck what you say it don’t mean shit, cause im tired of giving you advice..
    You turned your back twice, now im not nice, you pushed me and got me enticed..
    Im not what you think cause I can wink and change so quick with a eye blink…
    Cause im cold like a ice rink and im getting closer to the brink of not using this ink..
    Cause I spill my guts and from you I get shit so just go fucking feel my nuts…
    And I’ll kill you slut for everything you ever did to me cause nothing will heal these cuts..
    Seal me shut so I never open up again and reveal whats within but it just shows thin…
    Shut ya mouth with clothes pins but ya still make a slow grin and I still get no wins…
    But im still not one to mess with and I kill lots cause I have the best shit…
    And I wouldn’t check this cause it’s a check mate to a death rate don’t test it…

    Cause I…
    Don’t need you, and don’t need your help…
    Don’t need you, so just go fuck yourselves…
    Cause I…
    Don’t need you, and don’t need your help…
    Don’t need you, so just go fuck yourselves...

    Full of lies that unfold that you brought, truth was untold but that I sought..
    Everything on hold as I grew old and I felt cold and everything I fought..
    Fuck it cause you arent worth the hurt bitch and this hates birth is worse…
    Cause you make me blurt berserk shit as if this entire verse was cursed..
    Im the first to burst with all this hate inside cause all this fate is fried…
    Its not great to lie when heart rates to high, hey just wait I’ll die…
    Cause you ate my life, you took years away that’s why im not here today..
    But let me Clear the slate cause unlike me you suffer from severe dismay..
    But I appear to stay cause your such a bitch and I would never trust ya lips..
    And I don’t mean to act all lean in raps but just get outta my face, just a tip..

    Cause I…
    Don’t need you, and don’t need your help…
    Don’t need you, so just go fuck yourselves…
    Cause I…
    Don’t need you, and don’t need your help…
    Don’t need you, so just go fuck yourselves...

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Lulong's Avatar
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    Feedback

    Crazy flow, loved it anyways.. i feel ya dawg thats why i dont keep anyone close cept my whiskey and my weed, everything was there.. different topic so i cant really say anything is wrong..
    fav line was "Fuck what you say it don’t mean shit, cause im tired of giving you advice..
    You turned your back twice, now im not nice, you pushed me and got me enticed.."

    yo u should return the fav and drop feedback on one of my open mics in my sig
    l8rz
    ~?~?~?~?~?~~?~?~?~?~?~?
    <br>
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    to all thats fun">

  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    yeah man i thought this was a good drop, you kept to a constant structure but, i thought the lines were a bit long, but maybe thats because im changing my style to short lines, the flow was ok, maybe off a little, but the concept was there, coo....overall decent enough..................Pc Dawg...............
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the feedback so far, keep the feedback coming in, its much appreciated, thanks.

  5. #5
    the medicine man
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    nice flow, i liked the topic, and u stayed on topic pretty much. seemed like a lot of emotion was put into this piece.
    nice drop
    keep at it

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    leave feed and a link i'll return it


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  6. #6
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
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    I didn't get the flow at all, You seriously need to work on that, The content had no wordplay, no metas, just a little depth, that wasn't enough to impress me or get me to read past the first verse. .Pz
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

    <center>The Faculty</center>

  7. #7
    Ken Dawg
    Guest
    That rocked..good flow..I was so feelin it..would like to see more drops like this in the future...keep it up..peace......................................... ..........

  8. #8
    Formula
    Guest
    Flow Was Good Man, Although Not Consistent At All Times, I Was Able To Read Through The Whole Piece Without Much Trouble. What Made This Piece Was The Cot Damn Multi's Man. Multi-Wise, This Piece Was Fuckin Dope. The Content Was Good, And You Stayed On The Topic Of Not Needin A Bitch The Whole Piece. Props Man.

    Fuck what you say it don’t mean shit, cause im tired of giving you advice..
    You turned your back twice, now im not nice, you pushed me and got me enticed..
    ^ ^ ^ Word, Ill bar man. I like "You Pushed Me And Got Me Enticed", It's Almost Like These Broads Wanna Push The Love Buttons And Get You On They Tip Then Jus Wanna Flip Shit On You.

    Keep Droppin Man. . Great Piece To Rep CV.

    -Formula

  9. #9
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    Hey thanks for the feedback so far, Keep the feedback coming in, its much appreciated, thanks.

  10. #10
    still gainin 1liner's Avatar
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    yo this was pretty dope

    you should do this audiio man

    well flow was constant....kept me in it
    word play was tight and you wrote this like you meant this
    always good writtin come from a persoonal feelin

    anyways nice drop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    still hatin the dickriders
    and still pointin M out

  11. #11
    Quelude
    Guest
    Tight piece, i would also like to hear this audio. You putting it down for your squad dawg. I don't see much I can diss so I'll leave this alone with much props to the author.

  12. #12
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    Hey thanks for the feedback so far, Keep the feedback coming in, its much appreciated, thanks.

  13. #13
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    all was good in this piece cept for maybe one thing. I thought it coulda used a lil more vocab in ur first and second verse and a bit better wordplay. it just seemed a lil bit to simple stickin with small words for ur rhyme scheme and the same basic wordplay it kinda threw me off a bit but what really caught my attention was ur opener for your third verse.

    these lines in particular.

    Full of lies that unfold that you brought, truth was untold but that I sought..
    Everything on hold as I grew old and I felt cold and everything I fought..
    Fuck it cause you arent worth the hurt bitch and this hates birth is worse…
    Cause you make me blurt berserk shit as if this entire verse was cursed..

    grabbed my attention quick and I was feelin it. made the piece pick up in a faster pace. some good wordplay used here. other then that flow was tight and so were ya multi's. overall bro good drop I give ya an 8 outta 10 for this. keep droppin bro. peace.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  14. #14
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    masta c, this was grea, had a good flow some really thought out lines...som,etime basic but you over took that with your structure of ideas good writ pz
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  15. #15
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    Masta That was a really good piece i thought...I really liked reading this, sounded like you had a lot of emotion let out in this piece, Your structure was good i felt....You had multies, A LOT of multies, the multies really made this piece shine i thought...the flow was alright i thought could be a bit better but its still good...I really enjoyed this piece...

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