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Thread: i wrote this quick..what do you think?

  1. #1
    Newbie logikal's Avatar
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    i wrote this quick..what do you think?

    bringing a change hip hop..its your choice to be involved-
    breaking down the tiny confines that which hip hop once revolved-
    my styles different, so many heads are gunna hate-
    whatever...go with the mainstream if you choose, its your fate-
    call me a cynic, i'm just expressing what i feel-
    half these people aint real, so stop talkin like you got a deal-
    what have we come to? rap has gotten monotenous, everyones the same-
    keep rappin bout guns and women, your styles still gunna be lame-
    i aint a eminem or a 50 cent, i'm not into that-
    i'll prolly never sell a record or make money..thats not why i rap-
    try as you might, you wont be able to label me-
    not just a netcee or a textcee..im and upcoming emcee-
    i'll spit venom in any direction, watch out for my verbal spray-
    when theres meaning behind it, words can hit harder than an AK-
    "isn't it strange how its fad to bite your idols, when the whole reason you liked them was cause their shit wasn't recycled?" aesop rock.

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Even tho ur topic is played out...I still like it. For sum reason I always enjoy these pieces...becuz unlike of the heads here, he atleast expresses wat appears to be his true feelings.

    Decent vocabulary. Good enough in my eyes, dunno how others will see it. Flowed very nice. Screw structure and that crap cuz this could very well be an audio so It all depends on how it flows. Umm...not much I can really say...It seems imcomplete...I didn't really like the last line, doesn't go with the rest in my opinion. Overall, decent piece. Keep Elevating.

  3. #3
    Banned
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    Yeah this was a alright piece here......your structure was alright in this, could use a touch up in a few places cause some of your lines were kinda stretched out but still good....flow in this was pretty good, it stayed on point....had some nice vocab....Try adding some multies though to make it better....but overall this was alright...keep at it.

  4. #4
    Newbie logikal's Avatar
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    good looks...yeah..its a work in progress.....i agree totally about the last line...im gunna edit that....when i finish it i'll post the revised version...or possibly put it to audio..but i appreciate the feedback
    "isn't it strange how its fad to bite your idols, when the whole reason you liked them was cause their shit wasn't recycled?" aesop rock.

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