MEZ<<<my first post here

[MEZmerise]

yo yo you will see real MEZ spitting her words at ur motherfucken face
you thought that i didn't know how to rap and you want me gone out of this place
now beg for you fucken life's i ain't gonna show you no mercy or grace
i will turn this whole rap world into my kind of shape
bitch i ain't scared if you are handi caped
atleast i have talents that i can rap

the other rap i wrote was romantic shit
i was jsut trying to be a pesismistic chick
and now all of you gave me piss
so now my anger is out of grip
so you like it when i'm angry and diss
motherfucker i'm gonna kill you bitch

chorus:MEZ is the spit spatting rap machine
i could face any obstacles that comes in the way
MEZ will soon be a legend like dr dre
soon you will know why i was made
i was just made to conquer the rap game

people come on face me in a rap battle
your words wouldn't even make my heart rattle
or would you rather get a boat and paddle
too scared to face the rap master
when i came the whole world thinks its a disaster
my name is already recongised la

look at me ready to fight the wankster
cuz i'm a motherfucken gangster
but i'm not drug addict
if i want to be high i use my own tactics

chorus 2x

[Antonio Banderas]

The Good - It rhymed

The Bad - U need to add some sort of multies or wordplay to captivate the audience. Also, try to incorporate bigger words (Use a better defined vocabulary)

[MEZmerise]

hmmm.......see i need so much help........god dammit me stoopid brain fucking work

[Amarant]

all i can say about this is dat it rhymed.

vocab could be improved as could ur wordplay. try to add multi to get a better rhyme scheme goin and similes, and try to grab the readers attention.

jus listen to wat every says about this and improve on wat u left out and u'll be good with time

[MEZmerise]

ok i'm just a beginner so whats wordplay and multi?

[BoyWonder]

yo i gotta agree wit des other boys u know...it rhymed....dat was good...well done

[MEZmerise]

thanks boy

[FanTa ZeE]

well, like they said, it rhymed ..seeing as it was your first drop i guess you did fine..but to improve you have to add multis, and more complex vocabulary..i just started open mic a few weeks ago and i was wack then..but i'm slowly improving..

[MEZmerise]

ok thankyou for your support i respect you guys

[Mistral]

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

[repin]

i gots ta agree wif tha otha peoples.......ya it rymed .......but on tha otha hand ......u needa use more complex vocab ta make ya drop betta......keep at it tho.... ~1~ no hate